Tia Ramelan woke up to the sound of honking.
Not car honking.
Trumpet honking.
She staggered to the window and rubbed her eyes.
Outside, a line of horse-drawn hearses stretched down the driveway.
Spectral carriages floated behind them.Hovering broomsticks zipped through the trees.A skeletal marching band warmed up on the lawn.
There was even a ghost food truck that read:"DEAD-ICIOUS: Cursed Tacos & Haunted Hotdogs."
Tia blinked.
Then screamed into her pillow.
Downstairs, Ba'zaroth sipped ghost coffee like this was totally normal.
Lady Eugenia floated in, wearing a giant feathered hat.
DJ Deadbeat was handing out flyers that said:"WELCOME TO RAMELAN HOUSE – PARANORMAL PARTY CENTRAL!"
Ellis wore a shirt that said"I SURVIVED THE BASEMENT DEMON – ASK ME HOW!"
Mr. Floofers had glow sticks tied to his tail.
Tia staggered into the room.
"What.Is.HAPPENING."
Ba'zaroth tossed her a lanyard.
"Congratulations, boss. You're hosting the first official GhostCon."
Tia stared at it.The badge said:"Tia Ramelan – Hostess with the Ghost-est!"
She dropped it like it burned.
Apparently, after defeating Kharzum, Tia's haunted house had become an overnight sensation in the spirit world.
Every ghost, ghoul, and poltergeist within a thousand miles wanted to visit the legendary "Ghost-Slayer of Ramelan House."
They wanted to stay.Party.Take selfies.And maybe never leave.
Tia hyperventilated into a paper bag while Lady Eugenia patted her back reassuringly (her hand went through Tia's spine, which didn't help).
DJ Deadbeat spun a ghost rave playlist.
Ellis wrote on a big whiteboard:"Estimated Guests: 263... and counting."
Mr. Floofers added a sticky note that said:"Plus 1 very fat demon cat."
"NO," Tia said.
"YES," Ba'zaroth countered.
"You CANNOT just throw a ghost convention in my HOUSE."
Ba'zaroth smirked."You should've read the invisible ink clause on your spiritual lease, darling."
Lady Eugenia pulled out a giant planner."We already have panels scheduled! 'Haunting for Beginners.' 'How to Possess a Blender in 5 Easy Steps.' 'Fashion for the Newly Deceased.'"
Ellis flipped a page:"Speed Dating: Poltergeist Edition."
DJ Deadbeat whispered, "We have a slime dunk tank."
Tia clutched her head.
"YOU BOOKED A DUNK TANK?!"
Outside, the festivities were ramping up.
A group of Victorian ghosts were playing hacky sack with a human skull.A banshee was running a tarot booth.Someone was juggling knives (badly).Three floating skeletons were selling cursed lemonade for $6 a cup. ("Organic! Gluten-free!")
The portal to the Other Side kept belching out more attendees.
Bingo the parrot dive-bombed Tia's head screaming, "PARTY OR PERISH!"
Tia dropped to her knees.
"I am so tired."
Ba'zaroth patted her shoulder with a hand that left faint scorch marks.
"Think of it this way: Free marketing. A little chaos. Lifetime bookings!"
"Also maybe catastrophic insurance claims," Lady Eugenia added helpfully.
By nightfall, GhostCon was in full swing.
The backyard had been turned into a haunted carnival.
There was:
A "possessed puppet" show that was absolutely traumatizing the baby spirits.
A cursed karaoke stage (some ghost in a top hat was singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" but in reverse).
An "Escape the Coffin" competition.
And a tent for "Extreme Séance Sports" featuring aggressive table-flipping.
Ellis handed Tia a glow-in-the-dark clipboard.
It said:"SURVIVAL TASKS."
At the top of the list:
Keep the house from collapsing.
Keep the guests from declaring sovereign ghost territory.
Keep Ba'zaroth from selling Tia's soul on eBay.
Tia tried her best.
She really did.
She refereed an argument between two pirate ghosts about who was the sexier corpse.
She put out three fires (two literal, one metaphorical).
She broke up a séance-fight where two mediums were arguing over who channeled the "cuter poltergeist."
And she caught Mr. Floofers trying to sell fake haunted rocks at $50 apiece ("certified by six angry spirits!").
By midnight, she was running on pure spite and candy from the haunted concession stand.
At 1 a.m., the Big Problem happened.
The prize for the haunted scavenger hunt was accidentally labeled "Ultimate Power."
Which... turned out to be an ancient cursed artifact hidden in her attic.
Specifically, the Soulstone.
A magic rock that could, if you were stupid enough, unleash undead chaos upon the mortal realm.
Guess who found it?
Yep.
A hyperactive 200-year-old poltergeist named Frankie Spookums.
He grabbed the Soulstone and screamed:"LOOK GUYS, I'M THE KING OF HAUNTED RAMELAN HOUSE NOW!!"
And the sky split open.
Literal rivers of ectoplasm burst from the ground.
All the carnival rides turned into haunted death traps.
The ghost hotdog stand exploded in a shower of cursed mustard.
Bingo the parrot screamed, "I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" and dive-bombed Tia again.
Tia facepalmed.
Hard.