It started at 3:00 A.M.
Naturally.
Because nothing good ever happens at 3:00 A.M.
Tia woke up to a strange humming noise — like a thousand bees trapped inside a microwave.
She staggered downstairs in her pajamas.
There, glowing like a giant evil nightlight, was the Soulstone.
Still duct-taped under a laundry basket.
Still trying to be relevant.
It buzzed with desperate energy.
"Mortal... awaken..."it croaked in its deep ancient voice.
Tia sighed and kicked the basket lightly.
"I'm off-duty. Shoo."
The Soulstone buzzed harder.
"I have observed your struggles.I have devised…assistance."
Tia blinked.
"...Assistance?"
Before she could scream "NO," the Soulstone unleashed a beam of chaotic magic.
It zig-zagged around the living room like a drunk laser pointer.
Mr. Floofers, who had been chewing on the curtains, was instantly upgraded into...
a floating, glowing, semi-transparent cat with tiny angel wings.
He yowled in confusion and shot upward, spinning like a disco ball.
Tia gaped.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
The Soulstone buzzed proudly.
"I have enhanced your Familiar.You are welcome."
Mr. Floofers crash-landed into the ceiling fan.
The commotion woke up the whole house.
Ba'zaroth stomped downstairs half-dressed in his ridiculous "I Heart Mortals" pajamas.
Ellis tumbled down the stairs with two left slippers.
Lady Eugenia floated in wearing a facemask and cucumber slices over her ghost eyes.
DJ Deadbeat poked his head out of the broom closet, bleary-eyed.
Tia pointed dramatically at the Soulstone.
"It's doing... STUFF."
They all stared at Mr. Floofers, who was now gently orbiting the chandelier like a confused moon.
Ba'zaroth facepalmed.
"Not again."
The Soulstone pulsed triumphantly.
"I can do more.I shall enhance all things."
It zapped Ba'zaroth.
The demon prince's horns turned into massive spiraled unicorn horns that sparkled aggressively.
Ba'zaroth roared, glaring at Tia.
"FIX THIS OR I WILL YEET THAT ROCK INTO THE SUN."
The Soulstone ignored the threats.
It zapped Lady Eugenia next.
She was transformed into a ghostly anime idol, complete with pink twin-tails and a magical microphone.
Lady Eugenia twirled in midair.
"...Actually, I feel fabulous," she said.
DJ Deadbeat tried to sneak away.
Too late.
ZAP.
His turntables morphed into a giant glowing battleaxe labeled "BASS SLAYER 9000."
Deadbeat just shrugged and started dropping sick beats while swinging it around.
Ellis dove for cover behind the couch.
"MAKE IT STOP!"
Tia scrambled for the duct tape.
She slapped three more layers over the Soulstone.
It just laughed.
"Mortal upgrades cannot be undone by tape."
Mr. Floofers floated by again, meowing mournfully.
New Plan:Destroy the Soulstone.
"How do you even break a Soulstone?" Tia cried.
Ba'zaroth cracked his knuckles.
"Simple. You gotta outwit it."
Tia blinked.
"...Outwit an ancient evil that's older than dirt?"
"Yes."
"Awesome. We're screwed."
Battle Plan: Operation Dumb It Down.
They gathered supplies:
A Rubik's cube (unsolvable version).
A math textbook.
A bureaucracy manual.
Ellis' taxes.
Tia piled it all in front of the Soulstone.
The stone glowed.
"What is this?" it rumbled suspiciously.
"Enlightenment," Tia said with a straight face.
The Soulstone buzzed and read.
And read.
And read.
It began to smoke slightly.
Ba'zaroth smirked.
"Ancient evil can't survive modern human nonsense."
Mr. Floofers floated by again, pawing at invisible butterflies.
Lady Eugenia sang a weird ghost pop song in the background.
DJ Deadbeat chopped onions dramatically for emotional effect.
It was pure chaos.
It was beautiful.
Finally, the Soulstone whimpered.
"I cannot...I cannot process the paperwork...The taxes...The contradictions..."
It let out one last tragic "BEEP-BEEP-BLOP" and short-circuited itself.
The magic faded.
Mr. Floofers plopped onto the floor like a furry pancake.
Ba'zaroth's unicorn horns shrank back to demonic perfection.
Lady Eugenia returned to her Victorian goth glory.
DJ Deadbeat's battleaxe deflated into regular turntables.
Everyone let out a collective, exhausted sigh.
Aftermath:
They re-buried the Soulstone under a mountain of cursed tax forms.
Tia taped a warning sign above it:"CAUTION: DO NOT FEED AFTER MIDNIGHT."
Ellis made a tiny "Soulstone Timeout" box with glitter glue.
Ba'zaroth grilled burgers out back (with normal fire this time).
Lady Eugenia floated lazily in the sunset, humming a ghost lullaby.
DJ Deadbeat remixed their victory theme.
Mr. Floofers napped on Tia's lap, occasionally twitching.
Tia leaned back, staring at the purple-tinted sky.
Life at Ramelan House was many things:
Dangerous.Chaotic.Messy.
But boring?
Never.
And honestly, she wouldn't have it any other way.