---
Lin Feng stood outside the Azure Sky Gift Hall, clutching a gigantic, glitter-covered cushion embroidered with the words:
"Nap Like a God – Sponsored by the Cult of Slumber."
He squinted at the receipt.
It read: "Divine Offering – Non-Returnable unless you ascend into the nap dimension."
"I just want to give this back," he muttered.
The Gift Hall elder bowed so low his beard touched the floor. "Honored Enlightened One, if the Sacred Cushion displeases you, we can offer a nap-sized hammock blessed by the Pillow Spirits of Mount Snore."
Lin Feng blinked. "That's not even a real place."
"It is now," whispered the elder, frantically scribbling something into a new doctrine scroll.
Bai Xue ran up, holding a flyer.
"Do you know there's a Festival of Sleep being organized in your name?"
She read aloud:
> "Come celebrate the divine art of Not Doing Things!
Guest of honor: Sage Lin Feng.
Featuring: nap tournaments, tea-fueled trance dancing, and duck-shaped pastry giveaways."
Lin Feng sighed. "I'm going to have to fight someone just to stop all this nonsense, aren't I?"
"Not this chapter," Bai Xue reminded. "You said no fighting for a while."
"Right," Lin Feng grumbled. "Let's try logic, then. Dangerous, I know."
---
Later That Day…
Lin Feng gathered all his followers—I mean, "accidental disciples"—in the meditation courtyard.
He stood atop a stack of cushions, wearing his Elder robe backwards by mistake, which only made the crowd gasp in awe.
"He transcends fashion!" one whispered.
"He walks the path of spiritual reverse-drifting!" another cried.
Lin Feng raised a hand. "Listen! I am not a god! I'm not even that good at cultivating! I once mistook a cursed artifact for a cooking pot and nearly boiled my own eyebrows!"
Gasps.
Flame Duck dramatically fainted.
Bai Xue facepalmed.
But instead of doubt, the crowd burst into tears.
"He confesses his flaws to teach us humility!"
"Truly divine!"
Lin Feng threw his hands in the air. "Okay, fine! I'll accept ONE role. I'll be your honorary Grand Elder of Chill."
The crowd bowed deeply. "All hail the Supreme Nap Sage!"
Flame Duck threw confetti from somewhere.
The Demon King, now wearing monk robes two sizes too small, presented Lin Feng with an official sect charter:
> THE CHURCH OF COSMIC CALMNESS
Core tenets:
Sleep is sacred.
Tea before tantrums.
Ducks may or may not be holy beings.
Lin Feng stared at it in defeat. "I'm never going to live a normal life again, am I?"
Bai Xue patted his shoulder. "Nope. But at least the tea is good."
The disciples cheered. Music played. Someone started a nap-themed rap battle.
And in the distance, a spy from a rival sect watched and scribbled furiously:
> "Azure Sky's secret weapon appears to be… naps? Must investigate further."