---
Lin Feng sat at the makeshift retreat desk, the weight of his new spiritual responsibilities pressing down on him like an overstuffed dumpling. His "spiritual guidance" had somehow turned into a full-blown business, and the ghosts were now making reservations like it was a five-star hotel.
"I didn't sign up for this," he muttered, rubbing his temples. "This was supposed to be a nap, not a cult-following wellness extravaganza!"
Bai Xue, who had been watching from the corner with a strange mixture of amusement and dread, raised an eyebrow. "Well, technically, you did give them an impromptu sermon about transcending the physical world and finding peace through breathwork. That's the kind of thing that gets followers."
"I did not say that!" Lin Feng protested, looking over at his overly enthusiastic ghostly followers meditating in lotus positions. One of them was even levitating slightly, an incense stick dangling from their ghostly fingers.
Flame Duck waddled past with a tiny herbal tea set, looking far too pleased with himself. "I've been helping with the 'Enlightenment Sessions,'" he quacked proudly. "I told them about the benefits of meditative quacking."
Lin Feng blinked. "I regret everything."
Just then, a familiar voice echoed in the air: "Master Lin Feng! I've arrived!"
Lin Feng froze. "No… No, it can't be…"
Sure enough, hovering just above the ghostly retreat's entrance was the one and only Jin Xia, a ghost influencer who had millions of followers across multiple afterlife realms. Her glowing, sparkly aura shone brighter than a thousand lanterns, and her ethereal form shimmered in what could only be described as 'the latest spiritual chic.'
Her followers—who, to Lin Feng's horror, were also now hovering near the gates—cheered in unison: "Jin Xia! Jin Xia! Jin Xia!"
Lin Feng's eyes widened. "Oh no. No, no, no… I didn't book this. This wasn't in the plan!"
Jin Xia floated gracefully down to Lin Feng's desk, a perfectly manicured smile on her face. "Master Lin Feng," she said with exaggerated respect, "I've heard so much about your profound 'Napping and Snacks' philosophy. My followers would love to experience it! It's going to be so good for their souls."
Lin Feng looked from her sparkling eyes to the enthusiastic ghosts that were now crowding around the entrance, looking as if they'd just been told the secret to eternal bliss was hidden in a dim sum basket.
"This isn't what I wanted!" Lin Feng groaned, slumping in his chair. "I just wanted to meditate in peace. Now I've got a spiritual influencer retreat!"
"Oh, it's not just a retreat," Jin Xia said, with an almost mischievous twinkle. "It's a collaboration. I've set up a live-streaming session for tomorrow, and we're going to do an exclusive meditation series for my followers. Imagine the likes, the shares, the brand deals! You'll be famous—spiritually famous, that is."
Lin Feng's eyes twitched. "I… I don't want to be famous."
Bai Xue smirked. "Well, you're already a spiritual guru, so you're halfway there. You might as well ride the wave."
Lin Feng looked at her with a pained expression. "Is this what my life has become? I was a cultivator with a goal, and now I'm a retreat coordinator for lost souls… and ghost influencers?"
"Seems like it," she said, her smirk widening. "I don't think you can escape it now."
Jin Xia continued, "We've already set up the live-streaming event for tomorrow at the peak of the mountain. Your words of wisdom will be shared across all realms. Your rise to spiritual stardom is imminent."
Lin Feng groaned, realizing there was no way out of this mess. He glanced over at the ghosts who were now practicing synchronized breathing and chanting "snack enlightenment" together in a circle. The whole scene was eerily peaceful... and also slightly ridiculous.
"Fine!" Lin Feng relented, throwing his hands up. "Fine! I'll do the live-stream thing. But no more robes, no more chanting, and no more of whatever the heck that 'quacking enlightenment' is!"
Jin Xia clapped her hands with glee. "Deal! Now, let's get you ready for the live session, Master Lin Feng! The lighting is everything!"
Before Lin Feng could protest, she waved her hand, and an entire team of ghost makeup artists appeared, floating around him and fussing with his robes.
"This is too much," Lin Feng said, feeling the weight of his new 'spiritual celebrity' status sink in. "How did my life come to this?"
Flame Duck waddled by, puffing up his feathers. "If it helps, you're going to look amazing in the live-stream, Master."
Lin Feng sighed deeply. "Well, at least I'm going to be the most rested spiritual guru on the Internet."
---
The Next Day…
The mountain peak was covered in a strange, ethereal glow, with hundreds of ghostly followers floating in anticipation, their phones (ghostly, of course) ready to capture every moment.
Lin Feng stood in front of the camera, his face adorned with a slight frown and a very, very confused expression.
"Alright," he muttered to himself. "Here goes nothing…"
Jin Xia, perched nearby on a cloud, gave him a thumbs-up. "You've got this, Master! Show them the way to spiritual awakening!"
Lin Feng took a deep breath, hoping the 'right words' would come to him. "Uh… So, first off… remember to breathe? Also, snacks are a form of self-care."
The ghosts cheered.
The comments flooded in:
"A spiritual snack revolution!"
"Master Lin Feng, you truly are enlightened!"
Lin Feng just shook his head. "This is ridiculous.