Terms and conditions have yet to be disclosed
Yet I was sending myself messages of bittersweet intent, cautious yet not so subtle subliminals. Why? Why was she being so friendly, no, flirtatious even? Soothing was her presence to my mind, but still unable to fully quiet down my now question ridden brain, full of signals with nowhere to go. Was it through her, now made apparent full intoxication?
Her scent flowing through my senses as a constant reminder of the current situation at hand, cheap deodorant and body sweat made well known in my senses. Bottle in her hand, not a care in the world for how she looked or sounded in this time, black shirt lifting up well enough to see her near exposed breasts, bra she was wearing clinging on for dear life, almost unable to shield her naked skin from the world around her.
You could take her right now darling
I wouldn't mind it
Let us run free in our taste
Thoughts raced. Only keeping my now raging fever at bay but for mere moments at a time as I kept looking down at the angel at my lap. Within touching distance, her voice as she spoke, slurred yet divine nonetheless, how lucky I was to receive this blessing, still scarcely believing in the circumstances leading to this moment.
Mind still wanted to think this no less than clutching at straws.
A man like me? Shut in, stowaway, never feeling a woman's touch as intimately as I was now.
God only knows he sent his angel down to perhaps pity me more, goading me to try and resist, laughing at my fruitless attempts to sever myself from this newly found obsession.
Was this obsession?
Or was I just being a love struck mess.
Doubt still lingered, thoughts never ending was still a given, being put somewhat to the side if for a moment, yet there nonetheless. Temporary borders formed around my psyche, as if to keep those deathly thoughts at bay, knowing how this scenario could end in multiple ways, more tragic than beneficial, that truth echoing for the time we lay close.
Bottles still being passed around, conversation slurring back into the drunken familiarity of before, each person talking louder than the next, devolving into the stereotype rabble of an average bar or pub, exchanging more words of lewd and offensive thoughts as the inhibitions came to a close in our heads.
Time passed by as I once again found myself drawn into more intimacy with the girl now still laying down on my knees, myself having grown more and more comfortable with each passing minute, being more adventurous as I did.
Touching her more and more, yet still
somewhat hesitant, breath becoming heavier for the both of us with each fleeting moment of skin gracing skin.
As we struggled harder and harder to focus on nothing but ourselves, rest of the group at hands reach, fading away from our vision, picking ourselves back up for mere moments at a time as the focus of conversations only occasionally came back to us
Something close to two and a half hours had passed, feeling like a blur once more, yet still conscious, refusing to allow myself to forget this memory I was in the midst of making with this angel, her face and body now firmly etched into my brain, this girl I would now never forget again
"So, why'd you come back?"
She asked me, slurring her words as she looked up at me, eyes full of intent, making it known that this was indeed a genuine question, her once playful demeanor now suddenly stripped away after this one question slipped from her mouth, friends oblivious to what she had just said, focus not on us as we shared this moment to ourselves exclusively.
Initially being surprised, my mind now near deafened yet still fearful somewhat as I couldn't help but dart questions of my own in my mind, anxiety now trying desperately to break through the still strong barrier within my head, 'batten down the hatches' I thought to myself.
This was something of a loaded gun question if I ever heard, one answer could mean the bullet hitting me, one answer could mean the bullet hitting her.
What could I even say? What's the appropriate answer? Is there even one to begin with?
Yet a single answer came quickly out of my mouth, thinking of it but for a millisecond before it did, one obvious in nature considering everything that had happened before, every thought that raced through my mind before getting to this situation.
"I wanted to see you again"
A subtle smile emerged from her mouth as she heard me say this, narrowing her eyes, picking up her head from my lap, crawling in closer to my own. Leaning forward, facing me directly, vision completely taken over by her, that recognizable scent ever present in my senses.
"Why?"
Her playful tones slightly returned to her voice, a subtle laugh exiting her mouth whilst asking me.
"Did you wanna fuck me again?"
Before I even had a chance to answer, she whispered those words into my ear. Holding us close together, background noise now non existent, replaced only by my heartbeat skyrocketing. Her hands moved my own across her body, reminding me of when she was doing the exact same movements in our first sharing of intimacy, confusion and body heat both rising in unison as I drew my face closer to her's, body shaking as I did, nervous yet willing to accept her every move.
Suddenly turning her head away from mine, as I was mere inches from placing my lips on hers. My initial intention, as I thought might've been her's also, to make out with each other, french kissing her beautiful lips, tongues inside one another till we lay senseless on the dirt below us.
"Sorry, you're gonna have to earn that one!"
Throwing herself backwards onto the ground as she laughed, some of her friends now suddenly directed toward our antics, laughing and whispering as we had our moment.
Huh?
What she meant by this I had zero clues to, an obvious statement if taken at face value, it seemed like she was fully back to her playful manner when she initially arrived. Heart still racing, even more so now, I figured this is some kind of test. Maybe I could say something differently, something that would make me hopefully earn her affection in full again. The desperation to find her that I had before, playing back in my mind as I reiterated to myself how much I thought I needed this.
Did I seriously need this as much as I thought?
Mind stumbling through itself, at this point slow and near stale, tripping over feelings and emotions, questions and answers struggling to keep up with each other in a race to see which one would rear its head first, confusion taking the lead by a mile, second place was something resembling love, close behind being fear.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Questioning her with a slight overtone of a playful manner, trying to match hers, a slight smile on my face as I tried my best to play it cool, hoping that would be enough to coax an answer out of her that made sense.
"I just told ya dumbass, you gotta earn it"
Repetition, yet again, most questions still lingering around my headspace, supposing I should take that literally, but how to earn it was still a mystery, was she trying to play hard to get? Should I do something, say something, or would this be a more long term affair, something I'd have to earn over days instead of minutes, commit to the dreams in my head planted firmly, not letting their grasp on my reality flinch even for a second.
As she jolted back up from the ground, leaning back into me yet again, same pose as before, pulling me forward more aggressively this time, her lips planting the side of my face as she kissed my cheek, those soft wet lips finally gracing my skin, saliva like holy water doused in hellfire, sinner and saint meeting halfway, shaking hands.
Something truly divine.
"Be my friend first, then I'll let you fuck me"
So, that was her play, words before now meant literal, something I was initially hesitant to accept, intoxicated libido wanting to take her here and now, pin her down and feel her skin on mine like we had done before, spectators be damned. Anxiety wouldn't pierce this thought with checks of reality and rationality as more lewd and sexual desires made their presence fully known, stripping this angel naked and making her mine, even if for just another small moment of pure bliss in my head.
You're doing so well darling
I'll let you do it, ravage her
A wave of dumb confidence suddenly soared through me, a thought of courage that slipped through the cracks, thinking to myself, mind starting to blur from the liquor within my system, her head still pinned next to mine as her heavy breaths walked me further forward to push my luck. Whispering in her ear what I thought would seal the deal, what I thought would be the cool guy move I was completely foreign to, never in my wildest dreams trying to do this sober.
"C'mon, why not now, how about a repeat?"
Leaning her head back to see her eyes, those perfect blue eyes staring right back at me, blushing slightly as we exchanged contact, mouth open a little, as if to comment on the sheer gall of my sentence, the nerve of this man to be so forward in his intentions.
A few seconds passed, I thought this would be the moment where she would reconsider, take me away somewhere so we could throw everything else aside. Not having the shadow of the night anymore to hide us, not a concern in my mind at this point, as all I could think of was her, the potential to see her as I saw fit, in any shape, any form, any pose, any expression.
Eyes closing with a full grin on her face, head tilting slightly, pushing herself away from me as she held onto my shoulders, lifting one hand off and waving it around my eyes, one finger pointed up, as if to tease me somewhat for what I had just said, guess I should've seen that coming
"Friends first, take it or leave it pal"
So an ultimatum it was huh?
A figurative chastity belt now put on this relationship, guess I really was in it for the long run, slight disappointment flowed through, not letting it show on my expression to prevent further teasing from her as she stared me down, almost as if she was looking for that change of emotion, waiting to poke fun at me for being so desperate. I simply smiled for the time being, making my answer known almost instantly as to not lose this chance, however long or short it would take, resolve in my mind as I accepted this fate, I would make her mine, fantasies would have to make do in the meantime.
"Sure, friends for now"
Grabbing my hands and dragging me closer to the rest of the group to rejoin the festivities, once background noise, now the main focus, her hand wrapping around my back as we settled back into the conversations, my mind showing a subtle jolt of uneasiness as I restarted my attempts at relation to the rest of the group.
"Guess y'all have already been talking to this guy huh?"
As if she was just about to introduce me to everyone else, catching her thoughts in motion as she realized that I had been here long before her return. we carried on as if what just happened wasn't real, still however keeping her close to me, less so than before, but still enough to be thought intimate. We talked and talked for the rest of the time we had left, getting to know more about each of the members as Tye was further introducing me, telling stories of our past antics, most of them I considered embarrassing, made even more so as they laughed and cheered at some of the more less fortunate tales from my drunken history.
Just letting Tye carry on with it, all emotion was muddled to hell and back anyways, why bother deny him the chance to tell them about me, it's what he loved doing, and I was too intoxicated for my anxious mind to be fully effective in shielding me from embarrassment at this point.
"Swear man, you're a good fuckin time when you're wasted"
Mentioning my 180 degree pivots of personality the more intoxicated I became, which I suppose was true, not really being aware of my nature as a drunkard at parties, memory always being hazy was a given.
Mainly only drinking to gain much needed confidence, like potions and elixirs, boosting my levels if only temporary by nature.
Rebecca, seeming more and more interested in hearing about my split personality, jekyll and hide esque, as I glanced at her occasionally, still close, her head leaning to and from my shoulder as she learned more about who I was through second and first hand stories from Tye, each making me wince slightly as I would dart my eyes back to her, both of us laughing and gasping appropriately.
She now knew me further, would this be a blessing or a curse?
Would I just be another run of the mill teen without a care in the world for what the intoxication flowing through my head would bring long term to her?
Or would I be something more, having somewhat tailored my look for the second round even just a little bit differently than before.
Outfit being less casual and more specific, deodorant smelling like roses and charred wood, being voided somewhat by the liquor flowing through my now somewhat quelled yet still alive sense of an uncomfortable and anxious demeanor.
Would she even care?
This halo wearing goddess of a woman, who I yet scarcely knew, only being embedded with the taste from being inside her body once, tasting her every orifice, feeling each pulse inside and out of her being if but for a few fleeting seconds from last night's scenario.
Would I even be enough for her?
Questions raised as the day went further on, feeling the end of our session drawing closer and closer as people wavered in and out past that point you would call too far, bottles nearing empty, some daring to challenge their sobriety and storm the closest supermarket to buy more, yet some form of reason was still apparent as those thoughts quickly died down soon after they were made.
"You're gonna stick with us right? Rebecca likes you dude"
Her gaze entering mine as that sentence was said, laughing afterward as she did, a light blush I noticed hitting her face
"Yeah, he's gonna stay, he's my friend after all"
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