Chapter 7: I Tried Selling Herbal Cream. Now I'm Glowing Green
After the wedding disaster, Auntie Vida said I needed to "start contributing to house expenses or start packing my bags."
Desperation pushed me to answer a suspicious WhatsApp status that said:
> "Become your own boss! Make quick cash! Herbal life-changing products available!"
Long story short: by noon, I was a proud "sales executive" for Dr. Wonder's Original Miracle Herbal Cream.
They gave me 10 bottles and a training manual that said things like:
"Heals heartbreaks, malaria, joblessness and skin issues—sometimes all at once!"
"Apply directly to forehead for financial wisdom."
"Warning: Minor side effects include glowing like a traffic light."
My first customer was Mr. Oppong, the neighborhood carpenter.
He said his back was paining him.
I told him, confidently, "Apply generously."
By evening, Mr. Oppong's back was shining neon green. Children were using him to play "follow the leader" in the dark.
As for me? My hands were so green, I looked like I lost a fight with the Hulk.
Auntie Vida came home, saw me, and screamed,
"Kelvin! Why are you looking like unripe mango?"
That night, I officially retired from the herbal industry... after just 7 hours.
I still can't sit near green light without twitching.
--