Chapter 6: The Love Letter That Ended a Wedding
The next morning, I was supposed to follow Auntie Vida to Prophet OmegaFireLion Thunder's church for "full deliverance service."
But fate—and my lack of common sense—had other plans.
On my way to the taxi rank, I passed by a wedding hall where everything looked too fine. Big tents. Smiling aunties. DJs playing "Do I Say I Do?" at high volume.
I paused for "just 2 minutes" to admire the jollof from afar. You already know food is my weakness.
Suddenly, a man in a black suit grabbed me.
"Hey! Are you the delivery guy for the love letters?"
I blinked.
"Yes," I said. (Because when in doubt, lie with confidence.)
He handed me a thick white envelope. "This must reach the bride immediately. It's from her high school sweetheart. Urgent!"
I don't know what bewitched me, but curiosity pushed me. I peeked inside.
The letter started with:
> "My sweet plantain, if you're reading this, it means you're about to marry a man who cannot even boil egg…"
CHAOS.
Before I could even decide if I should deliver it or not, a little cousin snatched the letter and ran straight to the bride.
Ten minutes later, the wedding was CANCELLED.
The bride slapped the groom with her veil.
The mother-in-law fainted into the jollof.
The MC started singing "Onyame Bɛgye Stew" (God will collect stew).
I quietly slid away, holding my shoes under my arm.
And that's why I never made it to Prophet OmegaFireLion Thunder's church that day.
Maybe God was giving me another chance.
Or maybe He was laughing too.