"Tsunade, wake up… Tsunade…"
A vague voice echoed near her ears as Tsunade jolted awake from her dream, beads of sweat trickling down her cheek and dripping onto her Shihakushō. Her eyes stared blankly ahead.
"Had a nightmare?"
The concerned voice rang out again. This time, Tsunade snapped out of it. Looking up, she saw Hiruzen Sarutobi gazing at her with worry.
"Yeah… I dreamt I became a dad."
"..."
Sarutobi silently concluded that Tsunade must be lacking fatherly love. The birth of Nawaki had indeed diverted some of her parents' attention and affection. Perhaps it was time to have a word with the Senju clan head—wouldn't want her to end up emotionally stunted like Orochimaru.
Tsunade, of course, didn't notice Hiruzen's fatherly concern. She was still caught up in the strange dream.
They say dreams are reflections of your thoughts during the day. In some ways, her current life did feel like a dream—a nightmare. Barely surviving the First Great Ninja War, Tsunade had put on a brave front, but the experience had left her with a palpable sense of mortality. She couldn't help but envy those men who could pass on their hereditary chromosomes so freely.
Just getting laid seemed to make them fearless—even of death itself. What simple and brutish creatures.
Quickly regaining her usual composure, Tsunade stood up, brushing the dirt off her backside while asking curiously, "So, what brings you here, Sarutobi-sensei?"
"Ah, right, I came to inform you about something." Hiruzen adopted a serious expression.
"Us?"
Tsunade tilted her head in confusion.
He nodded slightly. "Yes. It's important, so I decided to come personally."
That surprised Tsunade even more. For Sarutobi-sensei to come in person—it had to be serious. She felt a sudden surge of purpose and responsibility… just kidding.
"I'm not listening!"
She rejected him without hesitation.
"I haven't even said anything yet!"
Hiruzen was both amused and exasperated—but not surprised. Tsunade was probably the only one in all of Konoha who'd dare cut off the Hokage before he spoke. Utterly disrespectful!
Still, having failed to discipline her time and time again, Hiruzen had long since given up trying to reform her. All he hoped for now was that she'd at least show some respect in front of others—for appearance's sake.
"No worries. I swear to defend your right to speak to the death."
Tsunade struck a reliable pose and patted her chest.
"Well, here's the deal." Ignoring her antics, Hiruzen continued, already prepared to force her to listen regardless. "You should know, even though the First Great Ninja War has officially ended, the post-war problems still linger…"
At that point, Hiruzen paused. Tsunade looked genuinely shocked.
But the expression lasted only a moment before she covered it up with a stern face.
"Yeah… The real war has only just begun."
Tsunade clenched her fists tightly, a powerful aura leaking out from her unintentionally.
"No, the war is over. I'm talking about post-war affairs."
"..."
Tsunade fell into awkward silence. Hiruzen briefly wondered if he had misspoken but quickly brushed it off.
"Anyway, let me explain the situation. Tsunade, you do know how a genin gets promoted to chunin, right?"
At this, Tsunade was momentarily stunned. Her strength came from the system, so she'd never really considered such details. She didn't even know what becoming a chunin was supposed to feel like. But with the Hokage asking, she couldn't just say nothing.
After a brief moment of internal scrambling, she finally offered an answer.
"Three Flowers Crown the Head, Five Qi Return to the Origin—slash the flesh, slash the soul—promotion to chunin happens naturally from there." She spoke with conviction, throwing in a bit of humblebrag. "I think I've already hit the peak of special jōnin. Breaking through to jōnin should just be a matter of time. Old man, reserve the Fifth Hokage seat for me."
"..."
Hiruzen found himself utterly lost. He, the current Hokage, couldn't understand a single word she was saying. Since when was ninja promotion this mystical?
Rather than dwell on it, he simply moved on. "Ahem. Well, it's good to have ambition. But let's not jump to Fifth Hokage just yet—how about Fourth? I still think I've got a few years left in me. As for now, starting this year, the requirements for chunin promotion have changed. Instead of selection, genin will now have to take an exam to qualify."
Of course, that assumed Tsunade had what it takes to be Hokage. Hiruzen wasn't too sure. After all, being Hokage wasn't about brute strength—raw power was only one prerequisite. Given her personality, Orochimaru seemed more likely to fit the role.
So all this talk was really just to motivate her.
Naturally, Tsunade had no idea. Realizing her boasting had kind of flopped, she fell silent.
Seeing her reaction, Hiruzen decided not to press further and continued explaining.
"The new exam will have three stages. First, a written test—measuring a ninja's discipline and understanding. Pretty straightforward. Second, a test designed by a special jōnin from the host village—this is where most unqualified candidates will get eliminated. Third is the final round: an official tournament. It's not about who wins, but how each participant performs in battle."
"..."
Tsunade thought this whole thing sounded way more complicated than just 'Three Flowers Crown the Head.' She'd always assumed ninja ranks worked like in certain novels—leveling up as one's strength increased. Since her strength came from the system, she figured she just didn't notice the promotions. She never expected the process to be more like a civil service exam!
What's the point of not being able to grind XP?
"That's the new chunin promotion method," Hiruzen finished, finally cutting to the chase. "I want you to participate in the exam next month."
There was something he didn't mention—that the chunin exams were a chance for Konoha to flex its strength to other villages. But given Tsunade's earlier reaction, he figured she wouldn't grasp the political nuance anyway, so he left that part out.
What he really wanted was for Tsunade, as a standout among the new generation, to completely dominate the other genin.
"I get it now. Sarutobi-sensei, you want me to show the other villages how powerful Konoha's next generation is, right?"
"You understood that?"
"Who do you think I am?" Tsunade beamed confidently, slapping her chest again. "Leave it to me. I'll make them remember the terror once dominated by Konoha—and the humiliation of being crushed by absolute power."
"Don't make Konoha sound like some kind of monster village!"
Hiruzen nearly facepalmed. The village founded by the First Hokage in the name of peace—now sounding like the stuff of nightmares from Tsunade's mouth. Was this really the Will of Fire she inherited?
"Relax, relax. Just leave it to me."
This was the perfect chance to complete her "Hundred Transformations" task. With all eyes on her, it'd be easy to build up prestige. Time to show the world that Tsunade-hime wasn't just the Senju princess, but also Konoha's top boss—the strongest of the new generation!
Still, her bold promises left Hiruzen uneasy. Good thing he wasn't putting all his hopes in Tsunade. Sure, her strength was unquestionable, but her brain? Full of holes. She had a knack for screwing things up for the dumbest reasons. So before coming here, he had already notified Orochimaru.
Suddenly, a thought struck him.
"By the way, Tsunade, have you seen Jiraiya?"
"He was training here earlier."
Tsunade looked around the now quiet training ground. "He probably went back?"
"I see…" Hiruzen looked puzzled but didn't press further. Instead, he left her with a final instruction. "If you run into Jiraiya, let him know about the chunin exams. The first two stages are team-based. If one person fails, the whole team fails."
With that, Hiruzen vanished in a puff of smoke.
Just a shadow clone?!
Tsunade pouted. Ever since becoming Hokage, Hiruzen had gotten busier and busier. Even their training sessions were now often handled by his clones.
Not that Tsunade, whose power came from the system, cared nearly as much as Orochimaru or Jiraiya. She quickly let it go and walked back to the clearing, ready to begin Phase 2 of "I Wanna Be a Study God - III." Even though the odds were slim, like many students who cram the night before an exam, Tsunade decided to give it a shot anyway.
After all, as a loyal pay-to-win subscriber, she believed more in her system than in anyone else.
(End of Chapter)
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