It was a landslide victory.
I, Yejin, a girl who stood out as much as the faintest stain on an old beige wallpaper only until three weeks ago, was elected as the Class Representative for the class of 1-3, in the first year of my high school life.
It wasn't a fair vote at all.
As soon as the teacher told the class we'd have an election, someone raised a hand to recommend me as a candidate, a boy whose name I didn't even remember.
There was a round of enthusiastic 'Yay!' and 'Me too!', and the teacher just asked the class there and then - "hands up if you want to vote for Yejin."
Most of the class raised their hands immediately, both boys and girls. There were a few who didn't react so quickly, probably the ones who harbored the ambition of becoming the Class Rep themselves, but seeing that they had no chance of winning against me, they too raised their hands eventually.
A win by unanimous vote.
Welp. 'Landslide' was an understatement perhaps.
During the whole proceedings, nobody even asked me whether I wanted the role because really, I didn't want to be the Class Rep.
I was never good in front of people - one of the reasons why I've always been a loner. And now I had to stand in front of the class and give a victory speech.
I looked around the room and all the eyes were fixed on me, twinkling with excited anticipation for what I - the most popular and adored girl in the class now - had to say.
"Er…"
Damn you, guys. Why did you put me in this situation…
"Erm…"
"It's OK, Yejin!"
Sumi, a lively girl who sat in the front row gave me a whispered encouragement, just loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Take your time!" Baemin, an aptly named big fat boy sitting in the last row cheered for me too.
I looked at my teacher and he gave me a reassuring smile and a nod.
If it was three weeks ago people would have been eying me with disdain, their patience running out in a matter of seconds at the hesitance and indecisiveness of this socially anxious girl.
It was nerve-wracking.
I have been popular for a while now and was just about getting used to people giving me their full attention, but giving public speeches was still a step too far for me.
"Erm… yeah… eh… Thank… you, everyone. I will do my best."
My face felt so hot and I knew it must be beet red - another trait of mine I hated.
But the thunderous applause I received told me that I had nothing to worry.
There really wasn't anything I could wrong now.
"Excellent! Well done, Yejin. You may return to your seat now."
With the teacher's approval, I hurried back to my desk.
I couldn't hardly get a break though.
Only a few minutes later the math class started, and as soon as he walked in, Mr. Jin the math teacher asked the class.
"Good morning. So who's the new Class Rep now?"
"It's Yejin!" Sumi at the front answered.
"Ah, as expected. Please go ahead then."
Sigh… I've watched other kids do it for the past 10 years but it was the first time I was going to do it. I got up from my seat.
"Ri…ahem… rise~!"
Kek. My voice broke and I made a weird noise. I'm really not good at this.
But the other students, instead of making fun of me, just giggled in a 'she's so cute' way.
Everyone listened to my command and rose from their seat too.
"Bow to the… TEACHER!!!"
Oh come on… how can I be this bad…?!
This time I totally got the tone wrong and ended up shouting like an ape, which didn't go unnoticed and earned a hearty laugh from everyone.
"Good morning, teacher!"
Everyone chanted and bowed their heads.
I quickly sat on my seat again and buried my face in my hands.
"It's OK, Yejin. You are doing a great job already."
Haemi, a girl who sat behind me reached out and squeezed my shoulder to comfort me.
"Tha… thanks…"
Now that the ordeal was over, I started to drift away as Mr. Jin started to write some new learning materials on board.
I hated math. I always did.
I don't want to be mean, but back in the first year of middle school, there was a girl in our class who was, erm, not so well developed - mentally. There were in total 34 students in my class, and when the first exam results came out in June my hands trembled as I saw that my math score was ranked 34th in the class.
Yes, I did worse than the… 'special student'.
To my horror, the boy who sat behind me back then looked over my shoulder and saw my rank on the print-out, knicked it from my hands, and waved it around in the air.
"Look, Yejin came LAST in the math exam, haha!!"
The waves of laughter I received back then weren't so friendly. Traumatizing even.
I only drew attention during such negative situations.
Other times I was always alone. No one came to talk to me, and I was too scared to talk to anyone. If I really tried - or if I COULD, it might have been possible to make friends. I'm sure there were other kids who shared similar interests as me - reading books, listening to music, watching anime. These were normal teenage hobbies, except that I had a bit of an odd taste in each of them.
Still, I'm sure I could have gotten along if someone, just anyone, came along and chatted me up.
But nobody did.
I often wondered why, but every morning when I looked in the mirror my answer was there.
I just looked gloomy as hell by default.
Who wants to befriend a girl that just oozes out bad vibes at all times?
No one.
Things were different now though.
I haven't changed.
Oh, no. I haven't changed at all.
But now everybody loved me for who I was.
Who would have thought being loved would be so hard?
No one.