The moment I opened the door, my world ended.
When you open your heart so large to love someone blindly, unconditionally, you fail to see their flaws, faults. And refuse to believe they can do no wrong.
That was me.
Until I opened the door to my apartment, ready to crash out from the day's work. The fashion event I attended drained the strength of two days out of me.
I froze. A hand on the doorknob as I watched him bury his face into her neck, the sports show on the TV drowning out her laugh.
My throat tightened; I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. The love I thought was mine unravelled in front of me, strand by strand, with every gasp she made.
I watched it all from the wide-open crack in my door; they hadn't noticed me yet. I watched him grope her ass, squeezing like his life depended on it, kiss her, and pull the strands of her hair, causing her body to arch back. Things he'd never done to me.
Things I begged him to do.
*** FLASHBACK ***
It was a cold night, rain pouring just as it is right now. We were cuddling, cozy under the warmth of the duvet when my hands gently roamed his chest. My fingers tangled with his chest hair as they found their way to his chin. He looked down at me and smiled. I know that look, my heart pounded vigorously against my chest as I thought of what to say to change his mind.
"Come 'on, babe, it's been what? Ages." I whispered, straddling his lap. Tilting my head and staring directly at him, I began rotating my hips.
"Hailey, baby--" His protest seized as if his face contorted into that of defeat. I smirked in victory, leaning down with my hips still in motion to kiss him.
He jutted his hips upwards, lifting me to drag his shorts off.
No Foreplay? Typical. That was a luxury.
I am at a disadvantage here, so I'll take what I can.
I increased my tempo on his limp dick until I felt it harden. His hands clasped around my waist to assist me, his grunts increasing each passing second.
"Put it in" his voice down an octave.
I hesitated, knowing I wasn't prepared. My palm rested on his chest as I grinded hard on him, huffing.
"Fucking put it in babe, I don't want to cum on my chest and the sheets"
I did as I was told, and sat on him, I reached out to take his hands, wanting them on me.
Directing one of his hands to my breasts, I took the other to the back of my hand. I looked at him, my hips moving in a rhythm and whispered. "Tug my roots"
It sounded as though I was begging, maybe I was. But the look on his face was enough to slow me down.
I recognise that anywhere, of course, I will. My father had that look on his face whenever he looked at me or my mother. Judgement.
He moved his hips, a few more pumps, and he loudly grunted. pouring his loads into me.
His breathing became erratic while I just sat there, mine slow. I moved over him, rushing to the bathroom to raise out and take my pills. What did I just do?
***
My mind was hazy as I tried to process. I mean, what else could explain this?
Should I have seen this coming? I really should.
Before I could set my thoughts straight, tears clogged the corners of my eyes as I clenched my chest. I don't believe this; I don't want to believe it. If I do, then this world I tried so hard to escape will become reality. My head pounded as I thought about what else could go wrong when my phone rang, pulling me from my thoughts.
It was my father.
It just got worse.
"Dad," I muttered, suppressing the lump that formed in my throat.
"Hailey? What's wrong?"
My father's business went bankrupt last year. Why? He's a con man, involved with bad men, dare I say the Mafia, with bad financial decisions. And I? For the past few months, I have not been able to find a stable job. The day he lost his job was the day I was known as his daughter. A greedy man who only cared about his daughter if she had money. He's good for nothing, man.
Yet I couldn't shake off the concern in his voice.
"I-I just saw Josh." I stuttered.
"What is that piece of shit" he replied, his voice rising.
"With Lily, together." His tone went from concerned to hysterical, making me remember why he's good for nothing, man and father.
"I told you that man isn't good for you; now he's fucking your sister. I suppose she learned from your mother."
"Why did you call?" I interrupted, mentally scolding myself for even telling him.
"Hailey, it's time to fix this mess. You've always been my last resort," he said, his voice oozing with feigned concern.
"What mess are you talking about, Dad?"
I have always been his last resort when it comes to saving his ass. Always me when he is in need.
I am broke. Heartbroken and tired, I don't need any of his concern, nor do I have the strength to save him. But I went ahead to ask.
"Our company. You don't want me to ruin things for you, do you?"
Our Company? That company is non-existent without me, and I am not even a shareholder. It has never brought forth profit, always wallowing in a series of debt. Never has he or the country does not ruin things for me.
I bit my tongue and rolled my eyes at his threat and hypocrisy. His company was never 'ours'.
"How much money are we talking about?"
"No, not your money. It'll be useless"
I halted my steps. My money being useless is new, and now I want to know what this man is up to.
"I signed a contract on your behalf"
"Spit it out Dad, it's not funny"
He sighed, "You are engaged, Hailey. He might come for you soon"
What the fuck!
My heart rate became unstable.
"Dad, No! This was never in the books. This not fair"
"Princess, I had to do what I had to do. For your good"
I am blinded by rage. Engaged?
It's one thing to be a deadbeat father, not caring about you children, only focused on money. And it is another to be insensitive.
My Dad is all of things, and stupid may be part of it because this is the height of it.
"Fuck you-" I spat at the now severed call.
I felt like I could die, the ground could open right now and that would be the best thing that has ever happened to me.