"We choose to go to the moon in this decade, and do the other things. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because that challenge is one we are willing to accept. One we are unwilling to postpone. And one we intend to win."
President John F. Kennedy
Rice University, September 12 1962
Collector Station
The doors slammed shut behind us, and we were safe. But I barely had time to take a breath before Garrus yelled in my ear once more.
"Eagle One! Do you copy?"
"I copy, Eagle Two. What's your position?"
"We're pinned down at the doors, we need them open now!"
Legion raced to the controls and the doors on the opposite side of the room slid open. Garrus and his team tumbled in amidst a storm of fire. The turian had been hit by half a dozen rounds, but the new armour I had gotten for him had thankfully taken the brunt of it.
"Garrus!"
He shook his head, and got to his feet. Battle-scarred though he was, and vigilante he might have been, but when the chips were down Garrus always got the job done.
"I'm ready for action, Jack," he said, smiling that weird turian smile of his. I slapped him on the back and went to check on the rest of the group. They were mostly fine, with the exception of Jacob who had been shot in the arm, and Samara was visibly exhausted with the strain of continually using her biotic powers for prolonged periods of time. I gave the team five minutes to get their breath back, before calling in to check on Joker.
"Joker, are you at the rendezvous point? Has the crew returned?"
"I'm here Commander," came the reply. "Dr Chakwas and the rest of the crew just showed up, along with Mordin and Kasumi. No casualties."
So far, so good. Now to keep this streak going.
"Excellent," said Miranda. "Let's make it count. EDI? What's our next step?"
"There should be some platforms that will take you to the main control console. From there you can overload their systems and set into motion a self-destruct protocol," the AI reported.
"What happens if they don't have one?" Miranda wondered.
"Then we pull out all the wires we can find and hope that something goes boom," I said.
"Ah. The scientific approach," Miranda said drily.
"Tali always says I have a PhD in making things explode, be a shame not to use it."
"Sir, you've got a problem!" yelled Joker suddenly. "Hostiles are massing outside the door. It won't be long before they break through!"
"A rearguard could defend this position and keep the Collectors from overwhelming us," I mused, looking at my team. They were tired, wounded, and sore. But they were still the most lethal force I had ever seen.
"Pick a team to go with you, John," said Miranda. "Everyone else can bunker down here and cover your back."
"Jack, you're with me," I said without thinking. A slight expression of distaste crossed Miranda's face, and she mouthed something that looked like of course. I made a snap decision.
"Miranda, you're coming too," I said.
"Excuse me?" Miranda said.
"Seriously?" Jack said.
"Yes," I said to the pair of them, in a tone that brooked no argument. "The rest of you, stay here and hold the line. We'll need some time to get to that control console."
"I'm coming with you, Shepard," spoke up Grunt.
"No, you're not. You need to stay here."
"It wasn't a request."
I walked up to the big krogan. "Grunt, I need you to remain behind."
"And I need to follow my Battlemaster into battle."
"Grunt...you are the biggest, toughest gun I have right now. This is a critically important task that only you can get done."
"What am I, chopped liver?" complained Zaeed loudly. I chose to ignore him.
"The krogan who does not die for his Battlemaster is shamed in the warrior's eyes," said Grunt, as if reciting off the back of the card.
"Well that's just bullshit," I said. Grunt looked shocked, insofar as a krogan could.
"That was a piece of centuries-old wisdom from Warlord Patten himself!"
"Yeah? Well he ain't here. I am. And I'm telling you while it may be glorious for the warrior to die in battle, I'm not a warrior. I'm a marine. And while you're under my command, you're a marine too. The marine doesn't worry about personal glory. He follows orders and gets the job done, and right now, I need that line held."
"But -"
"Grunt, you call me your Battlemaster and you act like you mean it and I am giving you a goddamn direct order. You will remain here under Garrus's command, you will follow his orders while I'm gone, and you do not have the permission to get yourself killed! Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!"
Grunt pushed his face inches from mine, daring me to make a move. I didn't move a step back and held his gaze. If Grunt was going to be the best fighter he could possibly be, he would have to learn not to constantly second-guess his superior officer.
"Very well, Shepard," said Grunt, after a long moment. I had gauged the response correctly. Krogan tended to respect humans who stood up to them. I had noticed it with Wrex, and now Grunt was doing the same thing.
"I'm to stay behind again?" remarked Garrus. "Seems like you don't want me around, Jack."
I gave him a look.
"Relax, I'm kidding. I'll hold your damn line. But you owe me a beer."
"I'll get you a whole crate."
"Dextro-amino?"
"Nope, Earth-brewed. Drink one and you'll explode."
"Screw you, Shepard."
"Kiss my ass, Scarface."
Garrus and I grinned at each other. I knew he would get the job done.
"Anything else you want to say before you leave, John?" asked Miranda.
I looked at my team and tried to marshal my thoughts. So many different individuals, so many differing personalities and motivations and capabilities, all fighting for a single cause. For me. I felt just a slight twinge of pride at that fact.
"The Collectors...the Reapers. They aren't a threat to just us. They are a threat to everything. Everyone in the galaxy. That's what we're fighting for. Not just humanity, but everyone else in the damn verse. That's the scale," I said.
"Now you lot might not shed a tear if half the galaxy were enslaved and liquified by the Reapers. But the Reapers don't do things in half-measures. When they come, they're going to extinguish every single last speck of life, right down to the baby born yesterday. We can't run, and we can't hide. All we can do is fight."
I took a breath and continued.
"It's been a long damn journey, and no one's coming out without scars. We win or lose it all in the next few minutes. Make me proud. Make yourselves proud. Make it so that even if you live for a thousand years or more, you'll look back on this day and say that this was your finest hour."
"Well said, Shepard."
"Hell yeah, Commander!"
"Worthy of my Battlemaster."
"So the Goddess wills."
"Bloody sodding right!"
"Acknowledged, Shepard-Commander."
"Amon-Kira, guide my hands."
"Keelah se'lai."
I turned to Jack and Miranda. "Ready?" I asked.
"Yes," Miranda said simply.
"Hell of a speech. Let's blow shit up," Jack said.
The platform we were on began to whirl away down an immense shaft to where we hoped the main control console was. We were flying right into the heart of the Collector base, and it reminded me of a blood cell hurtling down a vein.
The alien architecture around us enforced the feeling that we were invaders in the body of some great cosmic beast with its visceral appearance, and the hundreds of tubes snaking away from us into the distance like the capillaries in an unthinkably huge circulatory system.
The platform suddenly stopped in mid-air as if held in place, and other platforms rushed in towards us. They were laden with Collectors of all kinds, drones and guardians and assassins.
"Here they come..."
The platforms slammed into ours and locked into place like the pieces of a giant tessellating puzzle and the Collectors opened fire as soon as they were within range. We blasted them right back and the game was on.
I had a reason for picking both Jack and Miranda to come with me, a method behind my madness. Not because I wanted to go in battle alongside two impossibly beautiful women, a childhood fantasy of mine that I'd finally achieved.
Partly because I wanted to keep Jack safe, and the best way to do that was to keep her by my side. Without me she tended to get too reckless and throw herself in harm's way. Also because that I hadn't forgotten the murderous tension between her and Miranda, and I hoped that it could be dampened by fighting along side each other.
But the main reason I brought the two of them along was because I noticed the platforms didn't feature the most basic of safety measures, like railings. It was simplicity itself for my biotic specialists to reach out and fling the Collectors off the platforms to their certain deaths.
"ASSUMING CONTROL OF THIS FORM."
Of course, such tricks didn't work on Harbinger. But I actually welcomed the challenge. It gave me a chance to snipe him in the head personally.
"WE ARE YOUR GENETIC DESTINY. OUR POWER IS UN -"
"Boom! Headshot!"
"Is he going to possess every single goddamn Collector in this base?" wondered Miranda.
"I don't care if he is, he's still going down!"
Jack levitated one Collector and sent him barrelling into a bunch of other Collectors, sending them all flying off the platform. She wasn't even bothering with her shotgun, preferring to use her bare hands. Also, she could kill them with her brain.
Miranda was getting more use out of her handgun, but she was following Jack's lead and using her biotics to shove the Collectors away as well. I blew up the head off the last Collector drone with a particularly nasty explosive round and hit the control panel of the platform to get it moving again.
"This is it. All the tubes lead to this spot. EDI, can you tell me anything about what they're used for?" I asked.
"The tubes are feeding into some kind of superstructure," replied EDI after a brief pause, as the platform continued its journey into the Collector base. "It is emitting both organic and non-organic energy signatures."
"What the hell does that mean?" muttered Jack.
"Organic and non-organic? That sounds familiar," I said.
"Given these readings, the size of this superstructure is beyond any normal scale," said EDI. "Commander, if my readings are correct this superstructure...is a Reaper."
The platform had flown us up to the 'superstructure' that EDI was talking about. It hung suspended in mid-air, supported by all the tubes we had first seen in the central chamber connected directly to its body.
It was made of some strange, dark metal that looked like a fusion of organic and inorganic materials, as EDI mentioned. But what grabbed the attention and caused our jaws to drop was that the Reaper superstructure resembled the very distinctive shape of a human.
A human skeleton, to be precise. Nothing below the pelvis, presumably the Collectors hadn't got that far yet. But a skull, a ribcage, half-formed arms...it was like looking at the corpse of a titan from Greek myth. But this wasn't a dead body. Quite the opposite. It was an embryo, a Reaper at the very beginning of its eternal lifespan.
"Not just any Reaper, a human Reaper," I whispered, staring at the monstrous thing. I couldn't look away.
"Correct," said EDI. "Shepard, the Collectors have processed tens of thousands of humans. Significantly more will be required to complete the Reaper."
"This thing is an abomination!" I couldn't let this live, not a second longer. I could not let this thing see the light of day, or walk upon a planet with good grass underfoot. Every single inch about it screamed its utter, utter wrongness, a deep and terrible sin against God and nature and humanity and everything I valued.
It was like coming home to your bed and discovering a nest of cockroaches living in there. You felt like killing every last bit of it and cleansing it with fire to wipe the stain off your mind forever. I had to destroy this horror, or its visage would haunt my already overloaded brain for the rest of my life.
"EDI, how do I kill the fucking thing?"
"The large tubes injecting the fluid are a weak structural link," she replied. "Destroying them will cause the structure to collapse, and the Reaper to fall."
I peered over the edge of the platform. The bottom was so far down I couldn't even see it. A fall from this height would surely cause a thing of that size to shatter into a million pieces. Then a familiar whirling sound caught my attention.
"Give us a moment EDI, we've got to take care of some old friends first!"
There seemed to be no end to the number of Collectors that Harbinger could throw at us. As soon as we killed one, another drone would fly up to take his place. Jack was screaming, hurling fluent curses as she sent wave after wave of biotic energy at the Collectors. Miranda was the polar opposite, coolness personified as she alternatively ventilated the Collectors with bullets or slammed them around like ragdolls with her biotics, all in grim silence.
It went without saying that I was doing my part as well, must have racked up a three digit Collector body count with my assault rifle alone. We were dealing a constant stream of death, but we were three against an army. I had to end it fast.
I ducked behind a low partition and spun around to face the Reaper, trying with all my might not to look into its eyes. It may not have been fully alive or self-aware, but there was a definite spark of malevolent evil in those huge pits that a frigate could have passed through with room to spare. Instead, I focused on the feeding tubes and aimed my sights there.
The tubes shattered and fell away from the body of the Reaper as my assault rifle blazed up and down. Those tubes had transported the liquified remains of tens of thousands of humans. Real people, people who were brave enough to leave the confines of Earth and settle the final frontier of space, reduced to little more than meat for an abomination. I was taking great pleasure in destroying them.
Behind me, Jack and Miranda were proving the existence of miracles as they fought together as a team, Jack providing the brute force while Miranda cleaned up around the edges. There was no infighting, just a silent acceptance to do the job I had given them.
I felt a surge of pride and fierce love for my convict paramour. She had learned to overcome her murderous impulses and focus on the bigger picture. It gave me hope that she was on the path to recovery.
Jack was finally learning the value of teamwork in the middle of a battle against a mysterious hivemind alien race and the embryonic form of an intergalactic space monster. Not exactly what you would call normal. But like she said, we weren't like most people.
The Reaper lurched as the tubes tore away from it with a whip crack. There was a terrific screeching of metal as it began to fall away from its supports and plunge into the abyss below. I quickly took a peek over the edge, but couldn't see anything clearly.
The living horror was gone. Time to finish this.
"Shepard to ground team! Status report!" I yelled into my communicator.
"It's Thane," came the crackling reply.
"Thane? Where's Garrus?"
"He was knocked unconscious by a grenade blast. He's still alive."
Thank God. "The rest of you?"
"We are holding, but barely. A quick exit is preferable," said the assassin, again in a voice that held absolutely zero trace of urgency or fear.
"Fall back and head to the Normandy immediately," I ordered, then switched channels. "Joker? Prep the engines. I'm about to blow this place to hell."
"Roger that sir."
I bent down and released the catch on the main control console. A small access panel popped up, and I prepared to see what I could do to turn the base into a collection of randomised atoms floating in space.
"Uh sir? I've got an incoming signal from the Illusive Man. I'll tell EDI to patch it through."
Tim wanted to talk to me? Whatever the hell for? Whatever it was, he had to hurry.
Miranda's omni-tool lit up, and a holographic projection of the Illusive Man appeared in the air before me. Same expensive suit, same deep sunken eyes, same perfect hair, same traces of cigarette smoke hanging in the air around him. I'd been through hell while he'd kicked back in his office and probably enjoyed a nice martini or two. The perks of being the behind-the-scenes financial backer.
"Shepard. You've done the impossible," he said.
"I didn't do it alone, and it's not over yet," I said, turning back to concentrate on the console. "I still have to destroy the base."
"Not necessarily," he cut in. "I'm looking at the schematics that EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse will kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact. This is our chance, Shepard. They were building a Reaper. That knowledge, that framework...it could save us."
"They liquified people, you sick fuck!" I yelled. "Turned them into protein mush to feed their walking abomination! I'm going to destroy this base!"
"Don't be short sighted," said the Illusive Man, almost sneering. "Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own resources against them. Are you willing to throw away unthinkable advanced technology, technology that might be the only thing that stands between us and the Reapers, just because you're morally offended?"
"I'm not so sure," said Miranda quietly. "Seeing it first-hand...using anything from this base feels like a betrayal."
"If we ignore this opportunity, that would be a betrayal!" snapped the Illusive Man. He was getting a little worked up, the first time I had seen him do so. "The Reapers were working directly with the Collectors. Who knows what information is buried within this station? This base is a gift. We can't just destroy it."
"Listen to me," I said, leaving the console and walking right up to the hologram. "There is no 'we' here. There is only me. I alone decide what's going to happen to this base."
"You can't be ser-"
"Yes I bloody well am. And another thing. This base is a gift? To whom, the galaxy as a whole or just Cerberus? Are you going to give whatever information I might find in here to the Council? Share it with the rest of the galaxy so they can defend themselves? You're completely ruthless. I give you the base and you'll be melting down people to make your own Reaper."
"My goal is to save humanity from the Reapers, at any cost! I've never hidden that from you!"
"That's about the only thing you've never hidden from me," I said.
"Imagine how many lives could be saved if we keep this base intact and use its knowledge against the Reapers! Imagine the lives that will be lost if we don't. You stand on the edge of history, Shepard. What you decide today will decide all of our fates. If you destroy this base you will be destroying the key to our survival as a species!"
The Illusive Man's words gave me pause. I thought about all the turning points in all the wars I had ever studied back at the Academy. A Union soldier finding Robert E. Lee's battle plans in a dropped cigar, and the North going on to win the Battle of Antietam. The British intercepting the Enigma machine, and using it to crack Nazi codes in World War II. The liberation of Shanxi by Admiral Kastanie Drescher from the turians.
And of course, my decision two years ago to sacrifice Alliance forces to save the Destiny Ascension and the Citadel Council in the fight against Sovereign. Small incidents that sent immense ripples throughout galactic history, like the proverbial butterfly flapping its wings. Was I in danger of committing a grave oversight?
Then I thought about my mother. And my father. They were servicemen, but they weren't murderers. They weren't butchers. They walked the line between hero and villain every day of their lives and never fell off because they knew right from wrong. They knew when to follow orders and when to speak up, and they taught me to do the same. I thought of all I had seen of both the Reapers and Cerberus.
Eden Prime. Saren Arterius and his base on Virmire. Matriarch Benezia, Liara's mother. The horrors at the Noverian labs. The dead Reaper where I picked up the IFF. Time and time again Reaper technology had been proven to corrupt even the strongest of wills and noblest of intentions and turn good people into unfeeling monsters.
And the Illusive Man already had the advantage of a head start in that department. He already had been proven to indulge in sick, twisted experiments all in the name of unthinking progress and a supremacist attitude towards humanity. Corporal Toombs on Akuze. Admiral Kahoku's dead body in a secret lab. Allowing the Illusive Man access to Reaper technology would be like giving a nuclear bomb to a toddler. It was a recipe for disaster.
"No matter what knowledge we might find, it's not worth it. We've seen what Reaper tech does to people," I said at last.
"Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed in," said the Illusive Man with desperate urgency. "I brought you back so you could keep fighting. Some would say what we did to you crossed the line. Some would say your resurrection is an abomination, a sin against nature. But look at what you've accomplished! I didn't discard you because I knew your value. Do not be so quick to discard this facility. Look at the bigger picture, and think of the potential."
He was comparing me to this Reaper base? Actually...he had a point. Bringing me back from the dead might have been a step too far for most people. But I was glad he had done it.
I looked past his hologram, and my eyes met Jack's. She stared into my eyes with the same fierce, defiant glare that she had used all her life. Only once had I seen that gaze turn into something soft and emotional, and only for a few impossibly sweet moments shared together in my cabin.
The reason for that was because the Illusive Man had taken her and used her and broke her and turned her into the person she was today. She was beginning to heal, with my love and attention. But she shouldn't have had to be scarred in the first place. No one should have to go through what the Illusive Man put Jack through.
For all his promises, for all his assurances, for all his smooth talk and money and the fact that he had brought me back to life...the Illusive Man was still the son of a bitch whose orders hurt innocent young girls. Rogue cell or not, the project was initiated with his knowledge and approval. Our trip to Pragia had confirmed that. Giving in to his demands now would be a betrayal of the woman I loved.
I gave Jack a small half-grin, the kind that only she got to see. "Would you like to tell Tim what we think of his offer, Jack?" I asked
I would remember the delight that flamed in Jack's eyes for a lifetime.
"Hey, Illusive Man. Over here," called Jack. The hologram turned to face her.
"Do you remember me? My name's Jack. Or maybe you know me better as Subject Zero," she snarled, making the last two words a curse.
The Illusive Man looked worried. "I told you, the scientists at the Teltin Facility had gone rogue!"
"You see, I'm having a hard time believing you. Something tells me that if we hand over this base to you, in a few years time you'll be telling another bunch of suckers that the scientists at the Collector base had gone rogue, and you had no knowledge of it whatsoever," Jack said.
"I ain't buying what you've got to sell. Those who never learn from history are doomed to repeat it and all that shit. So you take that offer and go fuck yourself. Find a nice bunker somewhere you can hide, because I'm coming for you and killing you myself," she promised.
"Shepard, why are you doing this?!" the Illusive Man screamed. "Why are you letting her make the decision?!"
"Probably because I'm in love with her," I said, relishing the look of horror in his strange eyes. "Didn't anticipate that, did you?"
"Miranda!" he yelled suddenly, turning to his most trusted lieutenant. "Do not let Shepard destroy the base!"
All three of us stared at Miranda, wondering what she was going to say. Push had come to shove. Would she still back the Illusive Man?
"Or what?" she replied. "You'll replace me next?"
"Well fuck me sideways, cheerleader," said Jack appreciatively. "You've got your head screwed on right after all. Maybe I won't kill you now."
"You're right, John," Miranda said to me. "Reaper technology is inherently dangerous. We can't risk indoctrination."
"I gave you an order, Miranda!" howled the Illusive Man. I could see flecks of spit flying from his mouth.
"I noticed," she said icily. "Consider this my resignation."
"SHEPARD! Think about what's at stake! About everything that Cerberus has done for you! You ungrateful little son of a -"
Miranda cut the connection and flashed me a smile.
"Hell of a resignation, Miri," I said. I had seen miracles abound over the past few days, but this might have been the biggest one of all.
"Glad you liked it," she said.
I turned back to the control console and with EDI's help, wired the reactor to overload. We had about ten minutes before the base would blow up.
"Let's move!"
There was a metallic roar, and before we could take another step, the skull of the human Reaper emerged over the edge of the platform.
"What the fuck?!" we screamed, almost in unison. The thing must have crawled its way up the shaft while we were telling the Illusive Man to go fuck himself.
"We have to kill it, Jack!" shrieked Jack, preparing a biotic attack. But the Reaper was massive! Bullets and biotic blasts wouldn't make a dent in its hide. I needed firepower on a scale that was off the charts!
Oh. Wait.
"Take cover!" I screamed. Jack and Miranda dove out of the way. Then I reached behind my back and unlimbered the one weapon I had been saving for in case of an emergency. Well it was looming over me, and the glass needed to be broken. Enter the Cain.
"Come on Cain you old bastard, don't fail me now," I babbled, feeling the barrel spin and watching the red warning light flash. At least I couldn't miss at this range.
There was a terrific jolt, and a missile speeding towards the Reaper faster than the eye could see...
BOOM
The Cain had taken out an entire platoon of geth, including a Colossus, with a single shot. I prayed it would be enough against the Reaper.
It rocked backwards, the round painting the entire area around us a brilliant orange. The impact was tremendous. I was nearly blown off my feet. But I couldn't see whether the Reaper had definitely gone down.
Then...before my despairing eyes...it raised its head once more, its jaws stretched in an eerie grin.
I've taken your best shot. I'm still here, it seemed to be saying.
"It didn't work!" screamed Miranda in terror, firing blindly at the Reaper.
"Fire the fucking thing again! Two nukes are better than one!" screamed Jack, doing the same.
I scrabbled at the barrel of the Cain and checked the fuel readout.
Blue Sun mercenary base
One Week Ago
"Well Commander, looks like we're done here," said Jacob with some satisfaction, wiping the blood of the last Blue Sun merc off his suit.
"Not yet," I said. "Scour every inch of this base for supplies."
"Seriously?" asked Zaeed. "We've got tons of shit locked up on the Normandy. Let's just head back."
"That's an order, Massani," I said, checking out another room.
"Yeah, well, I'm only going to follow those orders as long as you keep paying me," Zaeed muttered. "The second you don't..."
"The second he doesn't, what happens?" demanded Jack.
"Well, that will be an interesting day, won't it?" drawled the old bastard.
"Commander, over here," said Jacob. "An ammunition stockpile."
"Let's see," I mused. "Grenades, heat clips for sniper rifles and assault rifles, heat-seeking missiles...hello, what's this?"
Jacob looked at what I was holding. "Explosive rounds, sir."
"Hmmm. Could they be modified to fit the Cain?"
"I'll have to see, sir. But the Cain's already fully loaded."
"Yes, I know. But it only has one shot, and then I might as well throw the bastard thing at my next target."
"The way it works sir, there won't be a next target."
"Can't be too careful, Jacob."
"Right you are sir," he said. "I'll look at increasing the ammo capacity as soon as we get back on board."
Collector Base
Now
"Jacob Taylor, I really, really hope you did what I told you to do," I said to myself, aiming the Cain once more.
I needn't have worried. Jacob was a professional, and had followed my orders to the letter. Cain had another shot left in him.
I wanted to wipe that grin off the Reaper's face. I wanted to obliterate it from living memory.
"Burn," I whispered. Then I fired again.
The second round went directly into the Reaper's skull by way of its open mouth. Then it blew up from the inside.
The Reaper lurched backwards again. Its skull was on fire, and there were smaller explosions as the inorganic materials caught fire and blew up as well. Steam hissed from its broken joints. The Reaper threw its hands up, as if in a plea for mercy. Then it crashed back down the shaft once more.
The platform began to tip to one side as one of the Reaper's trailing fingers caught the edge and overbalanced it. To my horror, Jack lost her balance, tumbled over...and went shooting off towards the edge.
I didn't think. I just acted. I flung myself after her, sliding down the platform on my belly, my arm stretched out as far as it could go, trying to catch her before she fell off the edge.
Our hands touched...then we broke apart again.
"JACK!"
She had reached the edge, and went over.
"NO!"
I tore past the last few inches, and swung my hand wildly, hoping against hope I had made it in time. Whether by luck or fate or divine intervention, my hand reached hers again. This time I did not let go.
I hauled her back onto the platform, my heart feeling like it had to burst. Jack was safe. That was all that mattered.
"You didn't let go," she gasped.
"I never will," I said firmly.
A blast from the doomed Reaper shook the platform again, only this time overbalancing it from the other side. We began to slip and slide in the other direction, Miranda included.
Another platform had careened off its support and was hurtling directly at us. There was a terrific crash, and then darkness.
"Shepard! SHEPARD! Less than six minutes to detonation!" a female AI voice was yelling in my ear.
I tried to get to my feet, and realised a heavy metal panel was lying on top of me. With a huge effort, I tossed it off and looked around for Jack.
She was alive, and awake. So was Miranda. We had survived. But it wouldn't matter unless we got off the station in the next six minutes.
"Do you copy?" shouted Joker. "Come on Commander, don't leave me hanging. Shepard, do you copy?!"
"I'm here Joker," I groaned. "Did the ground team make it?"
"They're all here sir, everyone's on board, everyone made it alive. We're all just waiting on you!"
There was an infernal buzzing, and a cloud of seeker swarms rushed our position, thick and black in a single seething mass. I knew it was time to get the hell out of there.
As we ran, I swore I could have heard someone speaking directly to me. The voice seemed to be coming from the swarms...from the shaft...from the very walls itself. I recognised it. It was the voice of Harbinger, the Reaper that had sworn to kill me.
"HUMAN. YOU'VE CHANGED NOTHING."
Ignore the voice. Ignore the swarms. Just run.
"YOUR SPECIES HAS THE ATTENTION OF THOSE INFINITELY YOUR GREATER."
Pump the legs, swing the arms. Remember all those football and soccer games in school. Remember all the route marches at the academy. Remember all those missions in N7. Just run.
"THAT WHICH YOU KNOW AS REAPERS ARE YOUR SALVATION THROUGH DESTRUCTION."
Huh. More Collectors with guns. It seemed a shame not to stop and kill them, but their death was approaching anyway. In five minutes and counting.
We ran through a long corridor that led to the rendezvous point. And just when I thought my legs couldn't carry me a step further, the most beautiful sight in the universe greeted my eyes.
The Normandy, flying proud. She was my girl and my home and my pride and joy. I wanted to go home. The airlock slid open, and I saw something else I thought I would never see. Joker was wielding an assault rifle, backed up by Kasumi and Mordin. And they were shooting at the Collectors behind us.
"Come on, Shepard!" Joker yelled between shots.
Miranda was the first one to jump in, followed closely by Jack. I lagged behind because I was wearing the heaviest armour. Then another far off explosion rocked the ground, and huge panels were dropping from the upper levels. One of them crashed into the platform that was nearest to the Normandy airlock, sending it spinning away. What had been a simple path to safety was now replaced by a yawning chasm at least ten feet wide.
It was too late to ask EDI to bring the ship closer. The Collectors were gaining on me. I ran to the very last bit of solid ground, and took a flying leap.
Leaping towards the Normandy. Towards Jack. Towards our life together.
I hit the edge of the airlock, and clung on with my arms.
Ignoring the spray of gunfire, Jack reached over and hauled me up into the ship, mirroring what I had done for her a few seconds ago. The airlock shaft slid shut, and Joker began to limp back to his pilot's seat as the Normandy wheeled away and prepared to haul ass.
"Detonation in ten, nine, eight -"
"Yeah, I get the gist of it EDI! Hold on!" Joker yelled.
The Normandy arrowed out of the base as we counted down together. Right at the predicted moment, there was a flash so bright it seemed to light up every corner of dark space. Then the Collector base blew up.
"Go to hyperspace, go to hyperspace, we're gonna get caught in the shockwave!" I screamed at Joker.
"Alright, alright! I'm doing it now!"
The drive core lit up once more, and we were finally free of that accursed place.
I walked into the Briefing Room. EDI still hadn't repaired the lights, and it was dark and dim. Exposed wiring sparked in the corners, chairs were overturned. I went ahead and started the communication.
Once again the Room faded away, replaced by the mother of all decadent, luxurious offices. The Illusive Man was seated in his chair, putting out another cigarette. He must have smoked an entire carton since Jack told him to go fuck himself.
"Shepard, you are making a habit of costing me more than time and money," he growled, words vibrating with barely suppressed anger.
"Spare me the lecture. People died at that monument to evil. I'm not sorry it's gone."
"They will be the first in a long line of people waiting to die! The technology from that base could have secured human dominance in the galaxy for untold generations...against the Reapers and beyond."
"Human dominance or just Cerberus?"
"Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human!" he bellowed, standing up and advancing towards me. "Cerberus is humanity. I should have known you'd choke on the hard decisions. Too idealistic right from the start."
"You get what you paid for. Should have done the research. Should have recalled who I was brought up by. Should have remembered who I was named for. Like him I believe in doing the right thing. I choose to do the things that are hard. Keeping the Collector base would have been the easy way out. But we're going to do things my way."
"If you think for one second that-"
"Shut up and listen. I'm not looking for your approval. Harbinger is coming, and he won't be alone. Humanity needs a leader who's looking out for them, but not at the expense of the rest of the galaxy. I'll save them all. And I won't let fear compromise who I am and what I stand for."
"Don't turn your back on me Shepard!" raged the Illusive Man. "I brought you back from the dead, I can send you back!"
"My name is Jack. Same as the woman I love. Funny huh? From both of us, with heartfelt sincerity and once more with feeling; go fuck yourself."
Joker cut the channel and I left the room with a smile on my face.
"Hey darling," I said to Jack. I'd changed out of my armour. She had gotten some medical attention for her scrapes and bruises, and sported a bandage on her arm. I slipped my hands around her waist and pulled her close.
"What are you up to?" I asked.
"Just some repairs, we really need to get the cargo hold sorted out -" she replied.
"My word. Jack, the terror of a hundred worlds, working to help others?" I said teasingly.
"Don't push it," she warned. I laughed.
"Don't you see?" I said, gently stroking her cheek. "You've come so far from when we first met. You've changed, and for the better."
"It's because of you," she said, the top of her head under my chin. "You looked past the surface, looked past the weapon and saw the girl crying inside. You're the first, Jack. It couldn't have been easy. I just wonder why."
"Don't be stupid," I said, kissing her. "You know the reason why. I love you. I believe in you. I trust you. I never take the easy way out. And I'll never let go."
Jack held on to me tight. "I love you too," she whispered.
We savoured the moment, not caring that the other people in the hold were giving us strange looks. Love was being with the person you wanted to be with, and not giving a damn what the rest of the universe thought.
"What now?" she asked, after a while.
"We'll need to find a way to stop the Reapers. Prepare the ground. Ready the fleets. Gather our allies. Wake them up to the threat of invasion."
"The Council are a bunch of assholes. They'll never listen to you."
"Maybe not. But I have to try. Anyway I owe you a real date. I'm thinking the Citadel." I said.
Jack laughed. "You know what? I'd like that."
I led Jack away to the direction of the elevator. "My quarters. Come on."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm thinking we need a little time to ourselves. Maybe a lot of time."
Jack looked troubled. "I'm not sure if I'm totally ready..."
"Really? Then I'll just have to be satisfied with this."
I brought my lips down to hers and we kissed.
"You'll wait for me?" she whispered, once I'd let her go.
"As long as you want. We've got the time," I said.
"We've got the ship. We'll go everywhere. Do anything we want. Just you and me. Does that sound like a plan?" she asked.
"Wherever you want to go, I'll be right by your side."
She gave me that feral smile of hers.
"Fuck yeah. Let's go shake up the galaxy," Jack said.
Afterword
Well, that's done at last! Fourteen chapters, over seventy thousand words...not bad for a little stream of consciousness I started just because I needed to write something to clear my writer's block while I was working on my Dragon Age fic all those months ago. I never expected this fic to be as popular as it has, and I am amazed and grateful that people like what I write. It's something I'll never take for granted. In case you're wondering, the title and the quote at the top refers to Shepard's tendency to make the hard choices. Not only blowing up the Reaper base at the expense of whatever advantage it could have provided, but also to fall in love with and accept Jack, which was a struggle every step of the way.
At the risk of sounding like an award acceptance speech (please don't take it that way) I'd like to acknowledge the contribution of the Mass Effect Wikia, which I turned to whenever I needed to check my facts. YouTube, which graciously provided me with the scenes from the game that I wanted to explore. The real JFK for being a terrific inspiration. Firefly and Joss Whedon and his wonderful, wonderful cast, whose fantastic lines I shamelessly ripped off and used in my story in the name of loving homage/tribute. Browncoat for life. And of course the wonderful people at BioWare, whose excellent writing and character creation inspired me to follow in their footsteps in the first place.
Finally, you, the reviewers. You guys are the ones who took the trouble to tell me what you felt about the story, and your praise and encouragement are worth more than I can say. Thanks to ClarkesLaw, Ledilettant, Charbear, Malaika Nina, Noobbody, Angua, Bahumat Knight, bandgsecurityaw, Chencheya, almostinsane, bharned1, CloudGazer15, LTFran, ccryder, bloodlust002, chapellefan, NightmareKira and deejaymcknight. I'm very grateful for what you have done.
To all my readers, thanks for taking the time to read my work. I really appreciate it.
Incidentally, if you're wondering whether this fic is done, well it isn't. I'm just categorising it as 'complete' for the time being. There are chapters forthcoming detailing the interaction between Jack and Jack and the crew and the rest of the verse. There might even be new enemies lying in wait. Their relationship will deepen and progress, like all relationships. And I know I promised somebody a scene where John brings Jack home to meet Momma Hannah Shepard.
Once again, thank you all and please keep reading. You might even like to check out some of my other fics. Take care, and remember that they can't take the sky from us.
- 5 August 2010