Foreword:
Yep, this is it. The sexy chapter. For those of you who are uncomfortable with a straightforward description of sex between two consenting adults in love with each other, please skip the first half of this chapter. The second part of the chapter has good stuff too, like Shepard calling the Council a bunch of pricks.
The Citadel
I don't know why Jackie started kissing me the moment we left the Pit. She put her hands around my neck and brought my lips to hers, hard and insistent. I barely had enough time to tuck my cigarette behind my ear. My mouth opened up and her tongue snaked inside, sliding over and around my own. Almost immediately I felt the blood rush to my groin and my jeans felt uncomfortably tight. After a few intense minutes, I had to surface for air.
"What about...our clothes?" I gasped. We were wearing nothing except for our jeans. I had stopped bleeding, but the cuts on my body were still raw, and painful to the touch.
Jackie had a look in her eyes that I'd only ever seen in battle. Hunger. Yearning. Lust.
"What about them?" she said.
I couldn't think of a good enough response.
We locked lips all the way from Zakera Ward, up all the countless levels to the docking bay where the Normandy sat at rest. We were half-naked, barefoot, she was covered in ink and I was covered in blood. Every time she touched me my wounds would sob in protest. Out of the corner of my eye I could see people pointing and muttering. I couldn't have cared less.
With my free hand I entered the code that would open up the Normandy's airlock. My other hand was...preoccupied. Jackie pushed me against the hull and were we kissing so hard I didn't even notice the airlock hiss open. She did though, and taking my hand she led me back into the ship. Our home.
"Welcome back, Jackie. Welcome back Commander," greeted EDI, as she always did. I would have corrected her, but I was pulled away by Jackie in the direction of the elevator. Joker wasn't in the pilot's chair, and the bridge seemed unusually empty. I don't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed about that.
"Where are we going?"
"Your place," she said.
"You forgot – my place is yours too," I said, and was rewarded with another kiss.
After a brief yet frustrating wait, we reached my cabin. My fish needed feeding. The reports on my desk needed sorting out. My armour and weapons needed a few upgrades. But they seemed inconsequential, relics of an old life. The shine of the new was embodied in the incredible, fiery woman I held in my arms.
I broke away from her lips, eliciting a petulant little mewl of protest from Jackie.
"I really need a shower," I said. "Just give me five minutes."
"So do I. Let's not waste time."
And with that she shoved me hard with both hands. I tumbled into the bathroom, sprawled flat on my back on the floor. Jackie advanced towards me, her eyes locked on mine. She dropped to her knees and slithered on top of me, her hands roaming everywhere.
I reached up and hit the button for the shower. A warm deluge poured over our bodies, washing away the dirt, blood, sweat and other filth we'd picked up from the Pit. Water trickled into our mouths as we kissed. Her body felt slick and wet on top of me, sliding around a little on the slippery shower floor.
Jack got off me and pulled me to my feet. Before she could speak I grabbed her arms and it was my turn to push her up against a wall. I lowered my lips to her neck and kissed her as hard as I could. A loud moan escaped her throat as I worked my way down to her collarbone. She arched her back, pressing her body against mine. I could feel her arousal, her nipples were hard and her breath was coming faster in ragged pants. I wanted her more than I ever wanted anything in my life. But I had to make sure.
"Jackie," I said, barely audible over the sound of the rushing water.
"Hmm?"
"I need to know if you're ready. If you want this."
Jackie's hand shot out and grabbed my crotch, and I groaned involuntarily. My mind was a whirl.
"You better believe I want this."
I fought for some semblance of control. "I just...I just want to make it right."
"You already did. I need you, Jack. I need this. Now," she said.
The words I'd been waiting to hear for what felt like an eternity.
Jackie tore at my jeans with both hands while I continued to kiss a trail down her chest. I ran my tongue over her nipple and felt a shudder ripple through her body. Jackie's breasts were small, befitting her slim, wiry frame. But they looked perfect on her, and had the added advantage of allowing me to fit my whole mouth around each one. With extreme delicacy I closed my teeth down on her stiff nipple and heard her gasp.
Jackie had managed to get the buttons undone, and roughly pulled down my jeans and my boxer shorts. I stepped out of the soaking wet garments, kicked them to one side and resumed toying with her breasts with my mouth and tongue.
My hands dropped to her hips and I caressed her ass. The damp fabric of her jeans felt rough and wet under my fingers and I was seized with the desire to strip her as bare as the day she was born. I ripped off her jeans and her black thong and we were naked together for the first time. Not that I'd been thinking a lot about it or anything.
The shower shut off suddenly, the last of the water gurgling away down the drain. It was an automatic measure designed to save water. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
"I don't care where," she said, her voice thick with lust. "I said now and I meant it."
I bent down, scooped up her legs with one arm and supported her back with another, lifting her into the air. Jackie didn't weigh much and it was easy for me to carry her bridal style out of the bathroom and to the bed. I placed her down as gently as I could and she looked confused.
"I thought you were going to drop me," she said.
"You might have fallen off. Hurt yourself."
Jackie smiled. "I'm a tough girl, Jack. Don't worry."
I got on the bed and moved closer to her. "I don't care. I won't hurt you."
"What if I asked you to?"
"Well now, that's a different story."
I cupped her breasts with one hand and reached further down her body with the other. So far I had been getting all the pleasure. It was time for me to be a gentleman and see to Jackie's needs. I kept my eyes on her face as I slipped one finger inside, and then another. She closed her eyes and cried out, her fingernails digging into my back.
"Fucking hell, Jack," she breathed.
Spurred on by the encouragement, I continued moving my fingers in and out of her, taking pleasure in the way she shook her head from side to side, the way she gasped and moaned.
Jackie must have had sex with countless people before me. But I doubt any single one of them truly loved her like I did. She had been raped, had men (and maybe women) force themselves on her. She never had a lover who devoted himself to her, who put her pleasure above that of his own. I was more than happy to be that man.
She pouted a little as I withdrew my fingers, and licked each slick and wet one clean. She tasted amazing.
"Just when it was getting good, you prick," she griped.
I didn't bother with a reply. Actions spoke louder than words. I pushed her legs apart, gently but firmly, and lowered my head between them.
"Oh. Oh, yes. God, yes."
It would be just like Jackie to get religious in bed. I was focused completely on what I was doing, my tongue working up and down her slit in long, languorous strokes, taking my time with each one. With each upward stroke I would pause and lavish the little nub just above her folds with extra care and attention. I didn't care how long it took. As long as she got there.
Her thighs were wrapped around my face and neck and they clenched together hard as she reached her climax. She didn't scream or anything like that, just gasped and shuddered as I felt a rush of wetness flood my tongue and mouth. It tasted sweet, just like my fingers had.
"How'd I do?" I murmured, running my tongue over my lips to get every last drop.
Jackie smiled. "Fucking amazing."
I raised myself slightly on my forearms and scooted a bit further up the bed, allowing the tip of my penis to rest against the engorged outer lips of her pussy. It seemed like all the blood in my body had pooled in my groin, my head felt uncommonly light. She raised her legs and rested them on my shoulders, opening herself to me.
I pushed forward slowly, carefully, wanting to luxuriate in every last sensation as I buried myself to the hilt in the woman I loved. I felt her stretch around me as I slid inside, heard her moan my name. I hadn't had sex in years and I felt ready to explode at any instant. Looking at Jackie, seeing her bite her lip as her huge dark eyes stared up into mine nearly sent me over the edge.
"Don't...you...dare..." she gasped, rocking her hips forward with urgent need.
I sure as hell didn't want to, not so fast. But by god it was bloody difficult to keep control. I silenced her with a kiss, and continued the pace. I got up to a steady rhythm, keeping it slow and deliberate. I would pull out almost all the way except for the head, then thrust back in again with the same speed as the first one, taking my time. There was no rush. I wish it could have gone on forever.
"I love you. I love you so much."
Who had said it, me or her? It didn't matter. It would have been true either way.
Despite exerting every ounce of self-control, I inevitably began to speed up, no longer able to thrust forward with the same deliberate pace as before. Jackie began to writhe beneath me, her fists clenching the sheets. Her hips were bucking wildly, arching her back and rising up to meet me every time I pumped myself back in.
"Jack, please, oh God please."
Jackie had let go of the sheets and her arms were wrapped around my back, her nails raking long bloody trails down it. It wasn't the first time I had bled tonight, but the slight edge of pain only served to heighten the pleasure to unimaginable levels.
I lost all semblance of control and began to thrust in and out as fast as I could possibly go. She was crying out now, a marked contrast to her earlier subdued moans and my voice joined hers. This was what it meant to be alive. This was the absolute essence of freedom.
"Jack..."
I felt her whole buddy shudder again and clench hard around me, and it was enough to send me hurtling over the peak. I felt my mind go blank in a moment of utter bliss as I released myself within Jackie, her voice ringing in my ears.
Twin trails of smoke spiralled lazily to the ceiling. I watched them reach as high as they can go, then twist and coil into nothingness.
I tapped the excess ash from my cigarette into an ashtray. My other hand was holding Jackie's hand. I felt...comfortable. Fulfilled. Whole.
"My god," said Jack eventually. "I haven't been fucked like that since...well...ever."
I turned my head to look at her. She did the same.
"You're just saying that," I said, smiling.
"I'm not. You were gentle. You knew what I wanted. You made me feel fucking spectacular. That was the best sex I've ever had."
I blew more smoke into the air. "That's because we made love."
"So this is love, huh? Hmm. I could get used to this."
I took her hand and held it against my chest. I could feel my heart thumping steadily against my ribcage. This wasn't the heart I was born with. The Illusive Man had given it to me. He was, quite literally, my creator. Did that make him my god?
If he was God then I must be a combination of Lucifer and Nietzsche. I had rebelled against my creator. I had denied his authority over me, denied the purpose with which he had ordained my life. I had struck out on my own to forge my own destiny. I was seeking freedom.
The freedom I sought was embodied in the young woman with whom I had just made love. We were both victims of our creators, scarred and twisted in our own way. My heart no longer belonged to the Illusive Man. I was no longer his plaything. I had chosen to give it to Jackie, and my future path lay by her side, to whatever end.
"Jackie?"
"Yeah?"
"I want to know why you felt you were ready," I asked.
Jack took a hit of nicotine. She looked slightly irritated.
"Why do you want to know?"
I wasn't expecting that.
"Why do you need to know?" she continued. "Why is it so important to you? Can't you just accept that I was ready and move on?"
"Because you're important to me. What you think, what you feel...I want to know that, Jackie. I want to know the person you are. That's what love is."
Jackie stubbed out her cigarette.
"If I say it I'm going to sound fucking stupid."
"Come on. I won't laugh. Promise," I said.
"It's just that...I didn't think I was good enough for you," she said at last.
"What?"
"You said you wanted to know, so I'm telling you. Don't interrupt."
"Sorry," I said.
"Let's face facts, Jack. You are – or were – the biggest and most famous human hero in the entire galaxy. I'm an ex-con who was tortured and experimented upon to create a living weapon. If this were some kind of holovid, we wouldn't have a chance in hell of being together."
"I'm glad this isn't just a story," I said.
"Jack, I know what I am. I'll never have tits or ass like the cheerleader. Hell I don't even have as good a body as your last bitch girlfriend."
"I don't care about - "
"Don't interrupt. I kill people for fun. I swear every other word. I've been used and thrown away by pretty much everyone I ever trusted. But despite all that, you said you loved me. And I believe you," she said.
"Uh, good."
"But I never really felt comfortable. I never really felt like this was real. It was as if it was too good to be true, y'know? I didn't dare to believe then. That's why I kept pushing you away. I was afraid that if you fucked me once you wouldn't care about what happened next. I didn't want to lose you."
"So what happened?"
"You did, Jack. After I blew you off for like the millionth time you still came down to find me. I never thought I'd see a pretty soldier boy like you shedding blood in the Pit."
"Marine. Really?"
"Really. When you talked about dragging me into your world, you were right. I don't know if I can change completely. I'll try, but I don't think it can be done. But the important thing is that you were willing to change for my sake. For me."
Jackie snuggled closer to me and draped her arms across my chest, her mouth level with my ear.
"That's all I needed to know," she whispered. "That's all I ever wanted. No one ever gave enough of a shit about me to want to change themselves. You did. You were willing to embrace my world. And that's enough."
I flicked the cigarette away and leaned over to kiss her.
It had been a few days. Jackie and I mostly stayed in our cabin, doing very little except to drink and smoke and make love. When we felt that we needed the exercise, we would sneak out and head back down to the Pit, just for the hell of it. Despite Dr Chakwas's careful ministrations, I was acquiring an impressive set of scars and bruises. I think she was tired of hearing 'I fell down some stairs'. At least she managed to give me a replacement tooth.
I thought a lot about what Jackie had said that night. It was true, every bit of it. It wasn't fair of me to expect her to change for my sake without doing the same in return. After being cut from the Alliance, it seemed like a great way to make a fresh start.
"What's it like, not being a soldier?" Jackie asked, after gulping down a shot of asari liquor.
"Marine. It's strange."
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked carefully.
I considered. "Eventually. But not right away."
She let it go, and soon I was jumping into the ring to kick the shit out of a poor salarian.
We went back to the Normandy together, my arm around her shoulder, her arm around my waist. I was up to three packs a day now, and soon I'd be causing more air pollution than the Illusive Man.
"EDI, could you tell Karin I need to see her? Need her to patch up a few scrapes I seem to have inexplicably gotten..."
"I am sorry sir, but Yeoman Chambers has instructed me to inform you that the Council left a message. They wish to see you in the Chambers at your earliest convenience."
"Like, now?"
"Yes."
"You mean like, right now?"
"Yes."
I looked at Jackie, and shrugged. My face had been battered almost beyond recognition, and I was bleeding from a nasty cut just under my left eye. I had managed to save my clothes though. I felt like a new man in my casual outfit.
"Let's go then. Oh and EDI, contact the specialists and tell them to meet me at the lobby of the Council Chambers at once. Thanks."
"With pleasure, sir."
I waited in the shade of a nice big tree, thumbs hooked into my pockets, whistling a merry tune. From time to time I would take a puff. Some moron C-Sec officer tried to arrest me for smoking and couldn't run away fast enough when I revealed my Spectre status. Jackie had wandered off to buy a snack.
"Hey Shep!" called a cheery voice. It was Kasumi, and I couldn't help noticing that she was leaning on Jacob's arm. They were both in civvies, which I'd never seen before. For a moment we took in each other's odd appearances, and burst out laughing at the same time.
"Hey Kasumi. Jake, how you been?"
"I'm good, Shepard. You don't look so hot though."
"What, this?" I said, indicating my latest injury. "Merely a flesh wound. I uh, ran into a door."
"Must have been a hell of a door."
"You're smoking," Kasumi observed. "I didn't know you smoked."
"I do now."
We made small talk until the rest of the team arrived. Miranda walked up, looking lovely in an elegant blue dress. Tali arrived with Joker lagging behind, and she immediately launched into a spiel of all the new upgrades she had bought for the Normandy. Grunt and Mordin came together, arguing animatedly about the Krogan Rebellions without stopping for breath.
Thane appeared as if from out of nowhere. He had gone to visit his son Kolyat, who was apparently making a name for himself as one of Zakera Ward's most efficient C-Sec officers. Finally, Garrus arrived with Legion in tow. The pair sported an impressive new array of weaponry, particularly sniper rifles. Samara had already left and Zaeed had buggered off as soon as we reached the Citadel and he received his fee. No one knew where he was.
"This should be interesting, Shepard," commented Thane. "I've never been in the Council Chambers before."
"Professionally or personally?" joked Garrus.
"Neither. I wonder what the price would be for assassinating one of the Council. I imagine you would be able to buy your own planet for the same fee."
"We should take out the Council, Shepard," rumbled Grunt. "They're the toughest opponents in the galaxy. Kill them all and reign supreme."
"Oh I don't know. They might come in handy. And keep the 'kill Council' thing quiet, would you? We're in the heart of the Presidium, we'd get shot just for thinking it."
"That shouldn't be a problem for a Spectre, would it?" asked Miranda. There was a hint of teasing in her voice. She knew about the Al-Jilani thing. She definitely knew.
I breathed smoke in and out. "Well obviously."
"Shouldn't we get going?" asked Tali.
"Hang on a sec, I'm waiting for Jackie."
My cigarette had burned down to a stub before Jackie showed up, carrying a bag full of food.
"What did you get?" I asked.
"Oh, you'll like this. Fried squid on a stick, from three different planets. There's regular Earth squid, some kind of asari calamari, and a piece of Tuchankan waterbeast. That shit is disgusting."
"Sweet. But stow it for now, we have a meeting coming up."
"Whatever," she said.
I took Jackie's hand and led the way into the Council Chambers. I distinctly heard Kasumi whisper fiercely to Jacob.
"See? Told you they're together."
Jackie and I looked at each other and smiled.
"It's a geth!" screamed one of the security officers as we trooped inside. "It's trying to infiltrate the Council!"
Everyone turned to stare at Legion.
"Geth do not infiltrate," it stated.
"It's standing right there! Shoot it!"
"Correction: Geth do not intentionally infiltrate."
"Calm the hell down, you moron," I said, stepping in. "This here's one of them friendly geth. It's with me."
"Spectre Shepard? Well, if you say so..."
Everyone watched us very closely after that little escapade. The security team made it a point to take away everything we were carrying that could be possibly construed as a weapon. Garrus wasn't about to let go of his rifle that easily, and you'd be amazed at the number of small knives, darts, poison capsules and explosives that Thane could conceal on his person. Once we were declared clean we were free to leave.
Joker was giving Thane a sideways look. "And you carry all this shit around with you because?"
"A good assassin is never unprepared," Thane said calmly. "Of course, the best assassins are those who use only the tools that the gods have granted them. Amon-Kira guides their hands."
"Are you saying you can pretty much kill anyone barehanded?"
"With ease."
Joker sidled behind Grunt, and allowed Thane to walk ahead of him. We entered the chamber and arranged ourselves around the table, with the Councillors on the other end.
"Evening gentlemen, lady," I said politely, nodding at Anderson, Velarn, Tevos and Sparatus. They looked at me as though I had grown an extra head.
"Uh, greetings, Spectre Shepard," Tevos said.
"Is that your blood?" asked Sparatus suddenly.
I lifted a finger to the cut under my eye. "Some of it, yeah."
They didn't say anything until I cleared my throat. "So, why am I here?"
"Oh, yes. Shepard, we have reviewed your findings, among other pieces of evidence. The weight of proof is beyond doubt. The Reaper menace is a genuine threat to Citadel space."
I jumped up, knocking my chair over.
"Ah-HAH! Finally! You believe me! You stupid pricks finally believe what I've been trying to tell you from day one! Now admit that I was right all along! Go ahead, admit it!"
"Calm down Shepard!" said Anderson. "Of course we believed you!"
"The hell you did, you made me out to be some kind of raving maniac!"
"Shepard, it was done in the interests of galactic stability," explained Velarn. "Look at it logically. How would the average citizen react if we had confirmed your apocalyptic statements of an invasion?"
I was taken aback. "Say what?"
"Really, Shepard," said Tevos. "We needed a little more time to investigate the Reapers, but you were out there raising a terrible hue and cry. You were spreading mass panic. The stock market would have crashed beyond repair. There would have been rioting in the streets. We just wanted to calm things down while we conducted our own investigations."
"So...so...you believe me?" I said, utterly dumbfounded.
"I don't," said Sparatus. "Never have. I still say it's all circumstantial."
"Regardless of what my esteemed colleague believes, this is a democratic council," said Tevos. "We have cross referenced your findings with that of our other intelligence sources, including the salarian STG and turian secret intelligence. Cautionary preparations have already been made since the attack on the Citadel, albeit in secret. Once we have prepared an airtight case suitable for public release, we can slowly begin the propaganda campaign. These Reapers can be destroyed, yes?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Then our task will be to ensure that the rest of the galaxy believes this as well."
"Oh. Right."
The Council then reviewed each of our options in the event of a Reaper invasion. I filled them in about each of the allies I had gathered. The Migrant Fleet, with Tali's assistance. Clan Urdnot on Tuchanka, with Wrex in command and Grunt as their standard-bearer. The non-heretical geth, on which Legion was able to provide further information. Even the Rachni Queen and her kin.
And of course, all the vaunted might of the turian war fleets, the asari commando teams, the salarian STG and spy networks, and the Alliance Navy. It was to be a combined army on a mind-boggling scale, the first galactic army in recorded history. It was everything we had to throw at the Reapers. We had to hope it would be enough.
"We should think about recruiting all the other species in Citadel space too. I'm thinking we should re-establish diplomatic relations with the batarians," said Anderson at one point.
"The batarians? Aren't they bitterly opposed to human expansion plans?" asked Sparatus.
"That may be so, but they've got a stake in this too. Every species deserves their chance to defend themselves."
I went over everything I knew about the Reapers, with my companions filling in the bits that I had missed. Every last scrap of information until I felt like I had been put through the wringer.
"It's not enough," murmured Velarn. "Information and knowledge will be the keys to winning this war and ensuring our survival. We simply have to acquire more information about the Reapers."
"We could have had plenty had Shepard not blown up the Collector base," said Sparatus. I glared at him.
"I believe I can help you there, Councillors," said Miranda. "Outside of Shepard's crew, no one has more experience with the Reapers than Cerberus."
"Cerberus? Are you certain, Ms Lawson?" asked Tevos.
"Yes ma'am. Cerberus had been obtaining pieces of Reaper tech and trying to learn everything they could about it. I was privy to a number of projects, which can be checked out immediately. The Illusive Man will have done his best to shut down anything I had knowledge of, but that will take some time. We might be able to find a few leads."
"A few leads won't be enough," said Anderson. "The most important pieces of information will be at the heart of Cerberus. Might be you have to go through the Illusive Man himself to find out everything Cerberus has."
"That sounds great," said Jack, lounging in her chair.
"An intriguing proposal," said Tevos. "Shepard, what are your thoughts?"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Hunt down every Cerberus cell and find out what they know about the Reapers. If possible, hunt down the Illusive Man and bring him to justice. He might have secrets worth knowing."
"And to do that I have to stamp out every last bit of Cerberus? You're killing two birds with one stone there, getting me to remove that nasty terrorist organisation for you."
"I'm afraid I'm not familiar with human idioms," said Tevos primly.
"Would you do this, Shepard? It would go a long way towards squaring everything with the Alliance again," said Anderson.
"Don't talk to me about the Alliance, Anderson. I don't give a fuck any more. But blowing up Cerberus? That sounds like fun."
"Only the really messed up projects," warned Jacob. "We have to give a chance to let Cerberus operatives defect and reform. People like me, for instance."
"I stand corrected."
I looked at Jackie. "You wanna do this?"
She punched her palm with a fist. "Hell yeah, babe."
Sparatus was looking at Jack closely. "Who are you?"
"None of your goddamn business, metalhead."
"Shepard, I demand to know who this individual is! She resembles a fugitive on the run from turian justice."
"You can shove your demand up your ass, Sparatus," I snarled. "This is Jackie. She's my girlfriend. And that's all you need to know. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe my crew and I have some business to take care of."
I tossed my burnt down cigarette stub onto the table, right in front of Sparatus. I lit up a new one, breathed smoke into the air and left the chamber with Jackie on my arm.