The morning sun rose over Melromarc, birds chirping in the distance, monsters growling faintly… and Thorfinn? Still passed out on top of a griffin.
"Guh… five more hours, Chadsky…" he groaned, hugging the beast like it was a body pillow.
Naofumi was already up, polishing his shield and checking inventory.
"Thorfinn, get up. Something's wrong. The sky turned green."
Thorfinn blinked awake. "Green? That's either alien invasion, someone farted in the atmosphere, or…"
He paused.
"WAVE TIME, BABY!!" he yelled, flipping off Chadsky and landing with a spin like an RPG protagonist.
[The Royal Panic™]
Summoned to the castle with all the other Cardinal Heroes, Thorfinn strode in like a rockstar — Dracula drip, axe over his back, followed by Takimaru holding a sleepy baby basilisk like a chihuahua.
"Behold, peasants!" Thorfinn announced. "The GOAT has arrived!"
Motoyasu, Ren, and Itsuki gave him the usual "who even are you?" glare.
Naofumi sighed. "Stop doing that."
King: "The first Wave of Calamity is upon us. Your job, heroes, is to protect the people."
Thorfinn raised his hand. "Do we get EXP and loot?"
King: "...Yes."
Thorfinn: "I AM DOWN TO CLAP SOME MONSTERS."
[Into the Wave – Cue Epic Battle Music]
With a magic teleportation spell (which Thorfinn dubbed "Fast Travel: Budget Edition"), the heroes were warped to a battlefield swarming with monsters: giant zombie dogs, shadow goblins, sky leeches, and one suspiciously buff scarecrow.
Thorfinn hopped on Birb, one of his twin griffins, who looked way too excited to be divebombing enemies.
"Birb, do a barrel roll!"
They crashed into a zombie dog horde, Thorfinn laughing as he swung his Axe Hero weapon, slicing through enemies like a cursed blender.
🧛 New Skill Gained: Bone Cleave Slash – Lvl 1
Naofumi was blocking hits, healing villagers, commanding his Filolial chick (now named Chocobruh) to carry children to safety.
"Thorfinn, focus!"
"I am focusing!" Thorfinn shouted, drinking a goblin's blood mid-air. "I'm multitasking like a boss!"
[The "Mini" Boss Appears]
Suddenly, the sky cracked like glass and out slithered the Wave's mini-boss: a Giant Multi-Eyed Reaper Slug with a screech that sounded like Windows XP crashing.
Villagers screamed. Heroes charged. And Thorfinn?
"This is what I trained for!" he screamed, leaping with axe in hand, cloak flaring like Sephiroth in an anime cutscene.
He bit the boss mid-jump.
🧛 New Vampire Skill: Reaper Acid Spit – Lvl 1
He landed, coughed once, and spat acid at a smaller monster.
"OH MY GOD, I'M KIRBY BUT VIOLENT."
[Team-Up: Vampire x Shield]
As the boss charged toward a town outpost, Naofumi blocked its path with a glowing Shield Prison, holding it in place.
"Thorfinn, now!"
"Combo move time!" Thorfinn shouted. "Vampire Axe Dragon Cannon Slash EX Plus Ultra Go!"
He didn't know what that meant, but it looked cool as he combined his axe with his vampire aura, jumped off Birb, and cleaved the boss in two with a glowing red X-strike.
🎉 Wave Mini-Boss Defeated! 💰 Loot: Reaper Core, Slimy Cloak, XP x 4,200
Thorfinn panted, covered in glowing monster goop. "Someone... clip that for my highlight reel."
[Aftermath: The Calm Before More Chaos]
Back at the village, the people cheered. Naofumi nodded in approval.
"You did good."
Thorfinn smirked. "I always do. I mean, I'm basically if Dracula was a gamer and raised by memes."
Naofumi rolled his eyes. "There'll be more Waves. Stronger ones."
Thorfinn nodded. "Then we get stronger too. Grind harder. Learn spells. Feed baby basilisk protein powder. And maybe… get more chickens."
Naofumi: "...Please don't."
[Meanwhile… In the Shadows]
Somewhere in a dark castle, cloaked figures watched Thorfinn through a magic orb.
???: "That vampire… he shouldn't exist in this world."
???: "He could disrupt the balance… or become our greatest weapon."
A third voice whispered, "Let's test him in the next Wave…"
[To Be Continued…]
Next time: Chapter 8 – Magic Mayhem & Vampire SchoolWill Thorfinn master spellcasting without blowing up the inn? Will Takimaru say a full sentence? Will Naofumi finally get a moment of peace?
Probably not.