Thorfinn was your average, everyday otaku—meaning he lived off instant ramen, had the sleep schedule of a nocturnal raccoon, and could debate anime power scaling like it was a Nobel-level science. His days were filled with anime marathons, rage-quitting games, and occasionally touching grass… in Minecraft.
One particularly boring evening, Thorfinn booted up his beloved PC, "Waifu_Slayer_3000," and cracked open a cold soda. Just as he was about to dive into yet another isekai anime (he had like 24 on his "ongoing" list), a ding rang out.
[NEW GAME ALERT]: The 4 Cardinal Heroes... and the 5th?!
"Bro, is this some DLC expansion?!" Thorfinn muttered, clicking on it faster than Luffy attacks a buffet.
Reading the description, he muttered aloud:
"There are five heroes summoned from another world. The Sword Hero. The Spear Hero. The Bow Hero. The Shield Hero. And the mysterious, brooding Axe Hero."
Thorfinn's eyebrows shot up.
"Yo hold up! Axe? That's not canon—y'all just added a barbarian class! Wait… is this one of those modded isekai fan games?"
"The Axe Hero doesn't mix with the others," it continued, "choosing to travel with the outcast Shield Hero."
"Edgy AND anti-social? This guy's me fr," Thorfinn said, laughing. "Bet he's the only one with decent damage scaling."
He hovered over the download button. "Welp, let's gooooooo!" Click.
Immediately, his PC fans kicked into F-22 Raptor mode.The screen flickered. The smell of burning plastic filled the air.And then—BOOM.
Just like his KD ratio in ranked matches… Thorfinn died.
Thorfinn.exe has been Isekai'd
He gasped awake. But instead of being greeted by hospital lights or the Gates of Heaven (which he imagined would be shaped like a Gundam), he saw four people standing around him in epic JRPG armor.
One held a sword, gleaming with energy. Another had a golden spear. A third held a sleek bow. And the fourth… a shield.
Thorfinn slowly sat up and looked at his hands. Pale. Weirdly pale. And… claws?
He saw his reflection in a nearby silver dish. Crimson eyes. Sharp fangs.
"…I'm a vampire?!"
He shot up dramatically, cape fluttering. "YOOOOOOO, I'M DRACULA WITH DLC! Twilight WISH it had this level of drip."
The sword hero—who looked like an extra from a shounen anime—gave him a side-eye. "So you're the Axe Hero?"
Thorfinn blinked. Then looked down.
Yep. Giant axe strapped to his back. "Dang, I thought that was a cosplay prop."
"…You weren't supposed to be summoned," muttered the Bow Hero.
"Tell that to my exploded PC!" Thorfinn snapped. "I was just trying to get some gamer serotonin and now I'm here with Diet Kirito, Budget Lancer, and Green Arrow from Wish."
The Shield Hero—Naofumi—raised a brow. "You're... different."
"Yup. Big fan of breaking the fourth wall. Just wait till you see my limit break: Ultra-Instinct Cringe™."
Later That Day…
The five heroes stood before the King. He addressed them like they were a K-pop group, assigning roles and lore dumps like a JRPG tutorial.
But while the others argued over who's stronger, Thorfinn was busy trying to figure out if he had a blood meter or if his new vampire powers included sparkles (they did not).
He leaned over to Naofumi. "Hey, bro. I know we just met, but since we're the misfit duo, mind if I stick with you?"
Naofumi, already salty from being treated like trash, sighed. "Sure, whatever."
"YES! Team Brooding Boys, assemble! You're Batman, I'm Dracula. We're unstoppable."
The king interrupted. "Heroes, form your parties."
Thorfinn watched as the other three heroes got swarmed by nobles and knights. No one approached Naofumi… or him.
He turned to the crowd and yelled, "Y'all just jealous because I got the axe and the fangs! Come on now! Who doesn't want to party with Vampire Levi?!"
Crickets.
Thorfinn grinned anyway. "Alright Naofumi, looks like it's just us. Let's be real—this is the start of the real anime. Rising of the Shield Bro & Axe Senpai."
He held up a thumbs-up. "Don't worry, I'll carry the comedy, you carry the trauma."
Naofumi just shook his head. "This is going to be a long journey…"