--
Two days later, the Abandoned Sect's heroic trio—Wei Yun, Yu Shuang, and Crutchy—arrived at a smoldering crater where a sect once stood.
Yu Shuang squinted. "This place smells like… regret."
Crutchy gagged. "And singed eyebrows."
In the center stood a blindfolded girl stirring tea atop a pile of charred alchemical manuals. Around her, melted cauldrons wept quietly.
"...Who dares approach me?" she asked calmly.
Wei Yun stepped forward and introduced himself the only way he knew how:
"I'm the master of the Abandoned Sect. We recruit talented disasters like yourself."
The blind girl tilted her head. "Are you mocking me?"
"Yes. But lovingly."
She considered this. Then offered him tea. "It explodes in exactly thirty-seven seconds. Would you like a cup?"
"…You're hired."
> [New Disciple Recruited: Mu Yao, the Blind Alchemist.]
[Constitution: Bomb Body of Heaven's Error. Cultivation Path: Alchemy of Chaos.]
[Trait: Higher explosions = higher breakthroughs.]
[Warning: She will blow up something weekly. You cannot stop this.]
Crutchy leaned in. "We need hazard insurance."
---
Their next journey took them to a village called Misfortune Hollow—a place so plagued by bad luck that crops ran away, and chickens pecked people in Morse code for help.
There, under a tree stuck by three lightning bolts at once, they found a pale, twitchy boy being pecked by a squirrel.
Wei Yun approached.
"Hello, young one. You seem like fate owes you a refund."
The boy looked up. "Hi. I'm Xu Liang. Don't come near me. My sneeze made someone's pants explode once."
"Perfect. You're hired."
"…Really?"
"We accept trash, tragedies, and ticking time bombs. You're a triple threat."
> [New Disciple Recruited: Xu Liang, the Cursed One.]
[Trait: Passive Misfortune Aura. Enemies targeting him will trip, slip, or choke mid-battle.]
[Hidden Trait: Supreme Calamity Body (sealed)]
[He is both a walking disaster and a divine gold mine. If he sneezes near you, take cover.]
Crutchy grunted. "He steps near my shack, I'm building a bomb shelter."
---
Final stop: a foggy mountain where legends claimed a terrifying spirit beast had mastered the human Dao… and developed an ego.
There, they found a panda. A fat, fluffy panda wearing a tattered robe, meditating under a waterfall.
It opened one eye. "Greetings, mortals. I have transcended bamboo. I now eat… concepts."
Wei Yun squinted. "...Is this bear serious?"
Yu Shuang whispered, "He's glowing. And he's got a Qi Core."
"Does he bite?"
The panda stood up, bowed, and declared, "I shall join your sect if you offer me honeyed buns and recognition."
Wei Yun extended a hand. "Welcome to the Abandoned Sect, Senior Panda."
> [New Disciple Recruited: Daoist Pan-Pan, the Bear Ascendant.]
[Species: Spirit Beast. Cultivation Realm: Foundation Establishment.
Specialty: Qi Absorption, Drunken Fist, Existential Rambling.]
[Wears robes, gives lectures, demands tea breaks every hour.]
Crutchy groaned. "We're now officially insane."
---
With five disciples gathered, the System flared with divine radiance (and minor static interference).
> [Congratulations!]
[Sect Level Up: Level 3 Achieved!]
[New Features Unlocked:
Sect Nameplate (engraved in indestructible trash metal)
Internal Ranking System
Sect Missions Board
The Great Trash Banner: Raises morale and repels judgmental stares.]
[Your sect is now recognized as: F-Rank Independent Sect – "Abandoned, But Functional."]
The disciples gathered around the cracked stone altar in their broken courtyard. Despite the ruin, they stood tall.
Even Pan-Pan.
Even Xu Liang, who tripped and faceplanted into the altar mid-cheer.
Wei Yun raised his fist. "From today, we're not just rejects. We're rebels. Misfits. Weapons of fate's vengeance."
Yu Shuang cheered.
Crutchy coughed blood but gave a thumbs-up.
Mu Yao's tea exploded in the background.
Xu Liang caught fire for no reason.
Pan-Pan ate a mooncake and proclaimed, "The heavens shall regret looking down on us."
> [Congratulations, Host.]
[You have completed: Chapter 1 – The Fall of Wei Yun]
[New Title Unlocked: Defier of Heaven's Narrative]
[Chapter 2 Unlocked: Foundation of Madness: Construction, Chaos, and Courtship???]
---
End of Chapter 1