Jay-Jay's POV
"I'm calm," I insisted to the damn King of the Serpents.
"No. You're not."
My patience with this guy was running thin. I was calm, but he kept insisting I wasn't in a good state just so he could avoid telling me what he had found out.
Soon enough, I really won't be calm.
"I'm calm," I repeated, taking a deep breath.
"You flinched," he pointed out.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I took a deep breath, my nostrils flaring as I tried to keep my temper in check. This man was exhausting.
"Well, obviously! Who wouldn't flinch at what you just told me about my mom?"
I forced myself not to raise my voice, trying not to sound as frustrated as I felt.
"Why are your nostrils flaring?"
For fuck's sake!
I almost grabbed my own hair in frustration, but knowing he was watching me, I quickly changed tactics.
Instead, I clapped my hands together and started singing.
"The birds that fly, God loves them, never fading..."
He stared at me in confusion. "You're definitely not okay."
I blinked. Fine. If he wouldn't believe that I was calm, then I'd have to make him talk—forcefully, if needed.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know what? I'll just go home if you're not going to tell me everything you found out."
"Jay—"
"And I'll tell my brother that you smacked him on the back of the head and knocked him out." I quickly reached for the door handle to get out, but Keifer's hand shot out, grabbing mine before I could open it.
Both of my hands, actually.
Oh? Are you scared now?
"Oh? What? What?" I taunted him.
"Don't leave yet. We're not done talking."
"Not done? You won't even tell me the truth." I scowled. "You're just scared of my cousin, aren't you?"
"No, I'm not. He's not the one I'm worried about right now," he replied smugly.
Oh, really?
I scoffed and tried to yank my hands away, glaring at him.
"I'm serious, Keifer. I am okay. I'm ready to hear whatever it is."
He held onto one of my hands. "I don't think you are—"
"Keifer, please!" I almost begged.
I struggled to pull my hand away, but he tightened his grip. I was getting more and more frustrated. We were just going around in circles. I needed to know the truth. Sure, the thought had crossed my mind that maybe I couldn't handle it, that maybe it would only bring me more problems.
But not knowing was worse.
Overthinking was exhausting. Especially when I didn't have much brainpower to think with in the first place.
"Okay. Okay. I'll tell you," he finally relented.
I could see the conflict in his eyes as he let go of my hand.
He reached for something on the passenger seat, and I followed his movements.
A brown folder. Stuffed with papers.
He glanced at me again before opening it.
"These are copies of documents related to the homicide—or rather, murder—case," he said, pulling out some papers and handing them to me. "According to the investigation, it was a homicide case. But someone, possibly Rodrigo's family, tried to interfere. They claim it was murder, and they have witnesses. The problem is, your mother refused to say anything."
I stared at the documents he gave me.
Rodrigo's death certificate. Police reports. A bunch of other papers I didn't bother reading.
Just looking at them made my head spin.
"What do you mean, she refused to say anything?"
"There's no record of her giving any statement about what happened."
I frowned. I knew my mother. There was no way she'd stay silent. She was fearless. If she knew she was being wronged, she wouldn't just let herself be taken down without a fight. Hell, the cops would probably be terrified of her sharp tongue.
"But why?"
"Maybe she was in a state of shock and couldn't give a statement at all."
I handed the papers back to him, lowering my head and rubbing my face with my hands. Something didn't feel right.
"Keifer…" I called his name, and he stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue. "What was the reason? Why did my mom kill him?"
He let out a heavy sigh.
"You… and your mom… were victims of domestic violence. According to the report, she fought back to save both your life and hers."
The words felt heavy in my chest, but I couldn't let myself cry.
Keifer and I had a deal—if he saw that I was struggling, if my symptoms resurfaced, he wouldn't say anything more, and we'd have to see a doctor.
But I remembered. I remembered the whispers. The gossip. Neighbors, relatives—anyone who knew us. They all knew my mom had been hurt, but in the end, they still blamed her.
"It's her fault. Why did she even get involved with that man?"
I wondered… Back then, when my mom and I were suffering at his hands, did anyone try to help us?
The same people who never got tired of talking shit about my mom in front of me—did any of them ever bother to check if we were okay? They had all the time in the world to gossip about us. Did they ever take the time to ask if we needed help?
It hurt to think about. That my mom took all the blame. And then I added to it.
Me.
How dare I?
After everything she did to save me, I had the nerve to say bad things about her.
My mother.
I remembered waiting for her to visit me at my grandma's house. Christmas. My birthday. Her birthday. Any occasion. She never showed up.
Because she was in prison.
Serving time for this case.
It was true. I remembered overhearing my grandma and Aunt Jenny talk about it once. My mom really was in prison. I still didn't understand why they had to hide it from me.
Everyone thought my mother had just abandoned me with my grandmother.
"Th-This case is closed, right?" I asked.
"It was. But recently, they're reopening it," he said, flipping through the papers before handing me another one. "Just like I mentioned, someone is claiming it should've been a murder case. And they say they have a witness."
I turned to him before carefully reading the document. My eyes landed on two familiar names. Jim Alcantara and Alex Ramos. The same names my brother had mentioned to me before.Top of FormBottom of Form
I couldn't help but feel irritated by what was written. They were making it seem like my mother had a real chance of becoming a murderer. They even claimed that Mama had threatened them back when they were still living together.
I gripped the paper tightly, causing it to crumple.
"Jay?" Keifer's voice called me back to reality.
For a moment, my brother's words replayed in my mind when I heard him talking to Aunt Gema and during the first time he took me to Dr. Claudia. He wanted me to remember because Mama had a case.
Is this the reason? Is this the case he was talking about?
I handed the paper back to the King. "Could this be the reason why my brother wants me to remember?"
"He wants you to what?"
"K-Kuya wants to send me to a psychiatrist so I can remember. I overheard them talking about it before, and they even took me to a psychiatrist without telling me," I explained, noticing how Keifer's expression darkened.
"No, no, he can't force you to do that. That's risky," he said angrily.
I lowered my head. "But I think he's right."
He set the folder he was holding onto the passenger seat and was about to open the car door to get out, but I stopped him.
"Where are you going?" I asked, gripping his arm tightly.
"I'm going to talk to your cousin. He can't force you to remember."
He tried to open the door again, but I stopped him once more.
Calm down first!
"Wait! Do you want another commotion?" I asked in frustration. "Remember, they don't want me to know the truth. What if they find out I asked you to look for this?" I gestured to the folder in the backseat.
He seemed to come to his senses after I said that. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. I let go of him once I was sure he wouldn't try to get out again.
We both fell silent for a few minutes. He was deep in thought, probably planning how to confront my cousin again.
Meanwhile, I had something else on my mind.
Nice, we have a mind now.
I was confused. They didn't want me to know what happened, but my brother wanted me to remember. Didn't they realize that if I did remember, I would find out the truth? Maybe Aries didn't want to overwhelm me, but my cousin, Death, was against it.
It was a battle between the fortune teller and the grim reaper.
Who would win? Maybe Kuya because he was powerful. One look from him and you'd know you were being sent to your final resting place.
But something felt off, like something was missing.
I tried to piece everything together. "Mama killed Rodrigo. She was imprisoned and later released. Now, the case is being reopened. They have a witness against Mama. Kuya wants me to remember because Mama needs a witness. But why does she need a witness? It was already proven before that she was only defending herself and me. Can't they prove that again now?"
Keifer shook his head. "Remember when I mentioned that your mother never gave a statement? They only used physical evidence and your hospital records, thanks to a few neighbors who spoke up for you. But that's not enough now because they have a witness against you. They need strong evidence—someone who was inside the house at the time."
That someone is me.
I felt weak. How could I be a witness if I didn't remember anything? How could I give a statement if every time I tried to recall the past, fear consumed me? How could I help Mama?
I suddenly felt frustrated with myself. I felt useless, like I couldn't do anything to help.
"Keifer, do you think I should go to the doctor?" I asked.
"If it's to find out what's wrong with you, then yes. But if it's just to force yourself to remember, then no."
I bit my lower lip. But I needed to remember. How else could I help Mama? What if one day, the police just came to take her away and imprison her again? What if this time, she'd be locked up for much longer, or worse, given a life sentence?
I had to do something.
"But… because…"
"Think, Jay. What happens to you when you remember? What do you feel?"
The fear, the sensation of not being able to breathe, as if someone was choking me, the feeling of being trapped, my movements restricted, like I was tied up even though no one was holding me. It was hard to move, to think, to fight back. And most of all, the feeling that it was the end for me.
There was more, but those were the most overwhelming.
"What if you feel all that twice as much when everything comes back to you? Will you be able to handle it?" he asked, and I could see the concern in his eyes.
Could I?
I shook my head. "Maybe not."
He held both of my hands. "We'll figure it out. Don't force yourself. I know you're scared for your mom, but we'll find another way. If we need to look for a new witness, we will."
I wanted to cry, but I held it in. I needed to stay strong and think clearly. Keifer was right—I shouldn't force myself to remember. We would find another way to help Mama.
I nodded at him and forced a smile. "I'll trust what you said."
He smiled and kissed my hand.
It felt heavy, not knowing how to help my mother. All I could do now was wait—wait for the memories to return or wait for another witness to come forward for Mama.
Whichever came first, I hoped it would help us both.
I hugged Keifer, surprising him. But he hugged me back and kissed the side of my head.
"Honestly, I feel guilty toward you," I whispered.
"Why?" he asked, laughing softly.
"Because I always bother you with things like this."
"I'd rather have you come to me. That way, I know you're getting the help you need."
That felt reassuring.
I smiled. He took such good care of me. But then I suddenly wondered—who took care of him? Who did he turn to when he needed support? It should be me, but he never once opened up about his burdens, except for the times we fought with Yuri, and I admitted my true feelings.
I also noticed that sometimes he handled the problems of the Snakes. He still managed to do that on top of his responsibilities to his siblings and the hardships he'd been through.
I pulled away from the hug and looked at him. "If I go to a psychiatrist, can you come with me?"
He gave me a sweet smile. "Of course, I'll go with you."
"Come with me and get checked, too."
He chuckled. "What?"
I stared at him seriously to show I wasn't joking. He thought I was, so he kept smiling, but eventually, his smile faded, replaced by concern.
"Jay? What are you thinking?"
"Because, if you think about it, we had the same childhood. We both went through terrible things. If I, who was supposedly strong, ended up with this condition, what about you?" I said, and he seemed to understand what I was getting at.
Don't worry, you're just a little crazy, but you're not insane.
"I like that you're concerned about my mental health." He bit his lower lip for a moment. "My apologies for not telling you, but I've already been seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist for myself."
I blinked. So, he had been seeing a doctor all this time.
I blinked again.
"You mean you've been going to a doctor already?"
He nodded. "I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to feel pressured or think badly about it. You do tend to overthink things."
He smiled teasingly at his last remark. I wanted to squish his face. How was I overthinking?
This idiot, we were having a serious conversation!
"Overthink what?" I retorted in annoyance, and he laughed.
"Okay, okay, I won't say it again."
"What do you mean, you won't? You're teasing me again!"
He pointed at me while still laughing. "See? Look! You're overthinking again!"
Damn it, this guy was messing with me again.
I smacked him, but he quickly grabbed my hand. "I'm just kidding."
"Be serious! When did you start seeing a psychiatrist?"
"When I left you guys, after I…" He paused, and his expression changed. It was like he suddenly regretted something. "A-After I hurt you."
I was stunned as well. That was the time when I learned the truth about their plan and also about Aries.
"I truly regret what I did back then. For me, having a childhood trauma is not an excuse for bad behaviour." He smiled at me. "We always have a choice. We always do. That's why after that, I chose to change myself. Of course, I couldn't have done it without professional help."
I blinked rapidly. "What about me? It's like you're saying that I really have a bad attitude and that what I've been through has nothing to do with it," I said with a hint of annoyance.
He laughed heartily. "There you go again, jumping to conclusions. Of course, we're different. My actions were still controllable, but yours were not. You don't even remember what you did, right?"
He had a point.
But I wasn't being paranoid. I don't know where he got that idea. I smiled slightly. It was amusing how seriously he was taking his promise to change. He even went to a doctor.
"I'll still go with you if you want to see a psychiatrist."
I nodded. "Maybe not now, but I'd prefer it to be as soon as possible."
"Please, no pressure."
How could I tell him that I was already extremely pressured? I felt like I was inside a pressure cooker, like a 45-day-old chicken that had gone past its prime and turned tough.
There it is—I'm hungry again.
"What does it feel like to talk to a doctor? Is it scary?"
He shook his head. "They're calm. More listening than talking."
I remembered Dr. Claudia. I had been rude to her the first time we met. The second time, we were better; she felt more like an older sister than a doctor trying to treat me. I wondered if other doctors were like that too.
I planned to see a different doctor. Not that I didn't trust Dr. Claudia, but she was close to my brother. She might tell him what she found out about me. My cousin tends to overthink things. He always jumps to conclusions.
I looked at my phone when it rang. Aries was calling. It seemed like they were looking for me.
"Why?" Keifer asked when he noticed me staring at my phone.
"Looks like they're looking for me. I need to go back."
"Okay, but before that, can I at least have one kiss?"
Something tickled my stomach. I wasn't sure if it was hunger or excitement. I glanced at my phone for a moment before turning back to him.
I nodded, and his smile widened. He moved closer to me, and I did the same.
And of course, we all know what happens next. Eme.
The King of Snakes was sneaky, though, because one kiss turned into another, and another, and yet another. He couldn't resist and ended up cupping my cheeks.
"Hey," I scolded him.
"What?" he asked innocently.
Before I could complain again, he stole another kiss.
I couldn't help but laugh at him.
Damn it.
He finally let go of me and turned to the steering wheel. He drove me back, but as usual, he didn't park right in front of the house.
I was about to say goodbye, but he moved quickly.
His hands were on my cheeks again, showering me with kisses. I couldn't help but laugh at what he was doing. He laughed too.
I stared at him as he stopped and looked at me. How many times had I tried to tell him that I wanted us to be together? It always got interrupted. Maybe I could finally say it now?
I wasn't getting bombarded with calls yet, so maybe there was still time.
"Keifer . . ." I called his name.
He smiled. "My future Mrs. Watson."
I chuckled a little. Jasper Jean Mariano Watson. Not bad, it didn't sound weird.
"I was just thinking, maybe we could . . ." I bit my lower lip before continuing. "Be—Oh, damn!"
I screamed when there was a sudden knock on the car window. I quickly turned to look and saw Aries' face. His brows were furrowed deeply.
Damn it! What a nuisance!
I turned to Keifer and gestured that I was getting out of the car. He nodded and let me go.
"You're really meeting up here? Go home!" Aries ordered angrily as soon as I stepped out of the car.
Was his love life miserable again? His temper was flaring up. But it was better that he found me instead of my brother, Angelo.
"And you!" He turned to Keifer. "Get lost!" He slammed the car door shut.
He faced me again and signaled for me to go inside the house. I did as he said, occasionally glancing back at Keifer's car.
A label that turned into nothing.
Maybe I should just say it through text. But that would be so lame. Our relationship should be formal.
I walked into the house with a frown. But I froze when I saw my mom. There was no sign of struggle or hardship on her face. She looked like a normal person doing normal things.
I couldn't help but get mad at myself as I watched her.
Idiot, don't cry.