The new school year began, and I started high school. I was hoping to receive less discrimination here—but unfortunately, I didn't. Humans will remain humans, no matter the age or place.
I was cast aside not only for being dark-skinned, but also for not having a family. I was at the absolute bottom of Japanese society.
No one wanted to sit next to me. And I kept getting stared at, as everyone whispered and gossiped about me.
Then, there was the popular gyaru Azusa Saegusa, who also happened to be my classmate. She was beautiful, smart, and athletic—the dream girlfriend of every boy in school. Even girls fawned over her...
The irony, though, is that she was also mixed, like me. Her father was Japanese. Her mother was British, but apparently lived in the Netherlands. They got a divorce, but Azusa had spent most of her childhood in Japan.
I guess because her other half was white, she didn't face any discrimination from Japanese society at all. Or at least not nearly as much as I did. She had beige hair tied in twintails, blunt bangs, and blue eyes.
Everyone was mesmerized by her presence alone as she walked into the classroom.
"Hey! Hey! Isn't that Azusa-chan?!"
"Azusa-chan the model?!"
Oh right—I forgot to mention she does modeling...
"No way! Is it really her?!"
"What is she doing in our class?!"
"Is she our classmate?!"
She scanned the classroom, noting a few empty seats. But to everyone's surprise, she chose to sit in the one next to me.
"Hi there! You look so cute!" she greeted me enthusiastically. "Especially with those golden eyes! The Eyes of Wonder, right? What side of your family did you get them from?"
I ignored her. I found her obnoxious and off-putting from the get-go.
"My name is Azusa Saegusa, it's nice to meet you," she smiled. "I hope we can be friends and get along!"
The entire class was stunned by the fact that Azusa chose to sit next to me, and even tried to befriend me. I myself didn't know how to react—but for a different reason. Nobody had ever introduced themselves to me with the intention of actually wanting to be friends.
"Yeah?" I responded.
"Yes!" she smiled.
"Okay," I said, returning my gaze to the window.
Azusa was dumbfounded. And so was the entire class.
"Did she just reject Azusa-chan...?"
"Maybe she didn't understand anything Azusa said, since she's American..."
During lunch breaks, Azusa always tried to sit with me—even though I wanted to be alone. She kept this up for the first few months. But I continued ignoring her, turning my back to her, or heading to the cafeteria to avoid her. And if she was in the cafeteria, I returned to the classroom.
One day, though, I assumed she wasn't at school, so I ate my lunch in peace and quiet in the classroom.
"Hey!" Azusa's voice rang out, surprising me. Where had she popped up from? I thought she wasn't here today. "What did you bring from home?"
Home? I don't have a home... I ignored her question. I was eating a simple Japanese bun bread—it was obvious.
"A bun bread," I replied.
She lit up, happy to hear me respond—probably because I tried to ignore her nine out of ten times, school assignments and group projects excluded.
"What do you think of my lunchbox?!" she asked as she shoved it in front of my face.
It was a really healthy bento box.
Main: Grilled salmon.
Side 1: Steamed broccoli and carrots with sesame dressing.
Side 2: Tamago (Japanese omelet).
A rice ball with seaweed.
A small portion of pickled vegetables.
And grapes...
"I made this myself," she smiled. "What do you think of it? Do you want to taste some? If you want, I can make one for you and bring it tomorrow!"
Why was she cozying up to me? Did she lose a bet? Or was she simply pitying me? I didn't appreciate this pseudo-kindness. Instead, it made me furious.
I slapped her bento box out of her hands. All her food scattered across the table, the chair, and the floor—shocking everyone in the classroom.
"Oh my!" she exclaimed. "This is bad..."
Azusa quickly ran to grab a dustpan and brush to clean up the mess. I continued eating my bun without caring to even glance at the chaos I'd caused.
"What the hell?!" one of the girls shouted. She and her group of friends walked up to the scene.
"Can't believe the dirty girl just dirtied the classroom," one of them scoffed.
"How dare you spill food?! And Azusa-chan's food on top of that?!"
I ignored them. Arguing or fighting back would just land me in trouble, as always.
"Girls, it's my fault," Azusa said. "She's in a bad mood today. I should've been more considerate."
"You're too kind, Azusa-chan," they said.
The boys, though, were also upset with me.
"This black bitch, who does she think she is?!"
"Hey?! In Japan, we don't waste food, got it?! This isn't America!"
"Hey!" Azusa shouted at them, surprising everyone. "She's as much Japanese as all of us! And this is my fault, okay? So leave her alone!"
Azusa managed to fend them off—at least, until the school day was over.