In a desperate attempt to escape the crushing weight of existential boredom, Saitama was sprawled across his couch like a half-cooked potato. With robotic motions, he flipped through TV channels aimlessly, as if searching for a reason to keep existing.
Suddenly, a loud, over-the-top, and suspiciously enthusiastic commercial popped up on screen:
"Do you have a talent? Can you do something so ridiculous that it makes people laugh, then cry, then question reality itself? Then join 'Talent Show: The Low-Budget Abandoned Neighborhood Edition!'"
Saitama blinked slowly—twice—then muttered to himself:
"A talent? ...I can kill anything with one punch. Isn't that… a talent?"
Ten minutes later—without warning or actual thought—he found himself standing on a creaky stage in front of an absolutely bizarre panel of judges:
A man wearing sunglasses indoors, which suggested either supreme arrogance… or voluntary blindness.
A woman who believed everything in the universe was art—even sneezing into a cup.
And a dog. Yes, a real dog. Wearing a suit. Wagging its tail with suspicious enthusiasm.
The host, whose voice sounded like he'd chugged ten cups of coffee in a single breath, shouted into the mic:
"Next up: A bald man who claims he's strong! Give it up for… Saitama!"
Saitama stood in the middle of the stage, scratched his head, and said flatly:
"Hey. I'm Saitama. My talent is… punching air."
One of the judges raised an eyebrow.
"That's it?"
"Yep." Saitama replied with unsettling confidence.
Then, he lifted his hand… and punched the air.
BANG!!
The stage shook. The ceiling split in two. A lighting rig crashed onto the host, who was instantly turned into a smiling pile of ash. The dog? The dog began to cry… then applauded.
Yes. The dog clapped.
Judge #1: "That's not a talent… that's an omen of the apocalypse!"
Judge #2: "I swear I felt Kenya tremble under my feet!"
The dog: "Woof!" (Translation: "Hit the golden buzzer, you idiot!")
And so… one of the judges slammed the golden buzzer. Confetti rained down like it was celebrating the rebirth of humanity, while Saitama floated in the middle of it all. The confetti stuck to his bald head, desperately trying—and failing—to become hair.
---
After the show, Saitama returned to his apartment…
He opened the door to find Tatsumaki sitting on his couch, casually eating from his bag of chips like she owned the place.
She smirked and said:
"I heard you became a reality TV star… loser."
"Just stop eating my chips."
"You're a public figure now. No privacy for you."
"I was just… bored."
"And we're all victims of your boredom."
Then Genos walked in, holding up a digital screen showing footage of the punch, his eyes glowing with awe.
"Master! The satellites picked up your punch—it disrupted the atmosphere! You're a genius!"
Saitama: "I just… punched the air."