Subtitle: Where Abandoned Plot Bunnies Go to Cry and Be Resurrected by Sarcasm
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Previously on The Paradox of E:
E ∞² emotionally survived a cosmic audit, weaponized sarcasm, gave trauma a glow-up, and unlocked a new level of narrative therapy. He is now legally allowed to feel feelings and make fart jokes at the same time. Dual wielding, baby.
But peace is short-lived when your author-shaped god decides it's time for…
> [REALM LOADED: The Cosmic Bureau of Unwritten Endings (CBUE)]
> [NEW QUEST: Face the Fiction You Left Behind.]
Let's get existential. And stupid. But like… masterfully stupid.
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1. The Waiting Room of Forgotten Futures
E enters an office lobby that stretches into forever. The ceiling tiles are made of broken dreams. The music playing? Elevator jazz remixes of plotlines you gave up on in high school.
A receptionist with a printer for a face looks up.
"Name?"
"E."
"Which one?"
"The emotionally unstable cosmic comedian who defragged infinity with a duck and sarcasm."
"...Room 404. Figures."
E is handed a clipboard with a list of all his abandoned ideas:
"Time-traveling raccoon detective?"
"Sentient sandwich trying to earn a PhD?"
"Dramatic romance between parallel universe versions of the same person?"
"A plotline that made sense for once?"
He cringes.
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2. Department of Dead Drafts and Half-Baked Ideas
The corridor is filled with half-finished manuscripts sobbing softly into their own margins. One yells, "YOU PROMISED ME CLOSURE!" before collapsing into ellipses…
E walks past a therapy group titled "We Were Introduced in Chapter 2 and Never Seen Again."
One character waves. "I was supposed to be the mentor! Remember?"
E whispers, "No…" and runs.
A sign flickers: Welcome to Plot Hole Alley. Mind the gaps.
He does not. He falls in one.
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3. The Plot Hole Tribunal
Inside the chasm sits a jury made entirely of characters E never developed. A cowboy with a cybernetic eye stands.
"You abandoned my arc for a pun."
A glowing elf-librarian points. "I was going to betray you! That would've been peak drama!"
E tries to respond but a bailiff slaps a post-it to his mouth: "Insert Better Dialogue Here."
The judge slams a gavel made of rejection letters.
"Defendant, you are charged with:
Narrative Negligence
Unjust Abandonment of Tropes
Excessive Use of Quippy Dialogue to Avoid Emotion"
E removes the post-it.
"Guilty. But charmingly so?"
Everyone boos.
Suddenly a duck parachutes in and shouts, "Plot twist!"
The courtroom explodes.
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4. Hallway of Genre-Shifts and Identity Crises
Now in an anime battle hallway for no reason, E is forced to switch genres every five steps:
Step 1: Noir detective.
Step 2: Shonen protagonist.
Step 3: Hallmark movie love interest.
Step 4: Horror protagonist.
Step 5: Slice-of-life side character with no dialogue.
A narrator tries to keep up but trips over its own metaphors.
E yells, "CAN I JUST BE ME FOR A SECOND?"
A musical number answers him. He joins reluctantly.
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5. The Boss Fight: The Abandoned Author Version of E
Deep inside the Bureau sits a massive crystalline version of E—pale, cracked, surrounded by dozens of blinking cursors.
"I am the version of you that stopped writing when things got hard. I am Stagnation given form."
"Wow," says E. "So that's what I look like unshowered and full of regret."
They fight. With irony, metaphors, and passive-aggressive edits.
Abandoned-E throws "Chapter 13 – unfinished.docx" at E's head.
E counters with a heartfelt monologue and a callback to Chapter 19 no one saw coming.
The real weapon? A single completed arc.
BOOM.
Abandoned-E crumbles.
[NEW ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Closure – It's Not Just For Therapy!]
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6. Debrief with You, the Reader (aka Narrative Co-Conspirator)
E sits on the edge of a page, dangling his legs into the margins. Looks right at you.
"You ever start something, then lose the spark halfway through? Not because you didn't care, but because life got in the way? Or maybe you just got scared it wouldn't be good enough?"
You nod.
"So did I. So does everyone. But you showed up again. And so did I. That's enough. That's everything."
He offers you a red pen. Not to edit, but to continue.
"Let's finish what we started. One absurd chapter at a time."
The fourth wall flickers like an old monitor, then collapses completely.
Janith peeks in: "You know you're over the word count, right?"
E smirks. "Word counts are for mortals."
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END OF CHAPTER 72
Achievements Unlocked:
Wrote Through the Cringe
Faced the Filler
Closure (Unattainable, Now Attainable)
Defeated Unfinished Draft Boss
Survived Genre Whiplash
Fourth Wall? Never Heard of Her
Narrative Guilt, Now With Extra Humor
Gave a Side Character a Hug
Next Time: Chapter 73 – The Convergence of All Crossovers: Where All Guest Stars, Cameos, and Narrative Freeloaders Arrive for a Cosmic Potluck and Everyone Brings Trauma Instead of Food.