Time Bubble – 2 nd July 1995
Harry knew he was dreaming.
It was King's Cross but it wasn't. Just an empty station; the platform of nine and three-quarters completely deserted. There was no Hogwarts Express.
There was a small room off to the side; a waiting room filled with benches and Harry entered it a touch self-consciously. He sat down on the bench and waited.
He wasn't surprised when a moment later Dumbledore sat down. The former Headmaster looked well; venerable and old still, but he looked at peace.
"Hello, Harry." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled at him. "You wanted to speak with me?"
Had he wanted to speak to Dumbledore? He'd had a stray thought before he'd gone to sleep…
Harry nodded sharply but didn't speak. He had yet to talk out loud again and it didn't feel right to talk to Dumbledore – even if the whole thing was in his head.
Dumbledore's twinkle dimmed. "You need not feel guilty about my passing, Harry. My heart sustained a tear in the battle. Poppy might have been able to heal the worst of the damage but my time was coming to an end. Minerva will tell you when you are back in England."
Harry felt relieved at the news.
"It is a difficult thing, Harry, to defeat a Dark Lord." Dumbledore said. "I did not have to kill Gellert. He…he surrendered to me once I held his wand. I like to believe that there was enough fondness for me from our youthful love affair that he refrained from forcing my hand. Or perhaps he simply did not wish to die."
Harry thought the latter was more likely and was glad he had decided not to speak. He wasn't sure he would have been able to comfort the Headmaster.
"There is nothing I can say which will make killing Tom better. And more, the aftermath of the battle…" Dumbledore sighed deeply. "War is a terrible thing." He shook his head. "I lost friends; loved ones. People were hurt; injured by more than spells. It took…it took a long time to recover and through it all I suddenly had a world looking to me for guidance and counsel. It was…overwhelming." He smiled sadly at Harry. "You must take as much time as you need, my dear boy. The world will wait."
Harry watched as Dumbledore settled into a more comfortable position on the bench and Harry settled in beside him.
He woke with a start.
His eyes adjusted to the semi-dark. It wasn't even daylight.
Hedwig hooted from her perch. There was a soft whine of enquiry from the foot of the bed and Harry gestured for Padfoot to stand down. He'd woken his father up every night with nightmares but this was different.
He closed his eyes again.
Padfoot lay his head against Harry's foot; a warm solid presence.
Why King's Cross, mused Harry sleepily. It seemed like a strange location for his mind to choose to meet with Dumbledore.
But there was a waiting room and maybe that was the point. His mind hadn't chosen the location because it associated it with Hogwarts. It chose it because Harry was waiting.
And maybe waiting wasn't so bad.
o-O-o
27 th June 1995
Hermione stared out at the road beyond the front garden. It was raining. The type of weather that people joked about when they talked about Britain; grey, wet, cold. Cars drove by, their muted growl almost inaudible behind the double-glazing.
She touched the necklace she wore, twisting the leather around her finger before letting go without even thinking about it. She had been surprised to find it intact; surprised to be handed it by her mother after the battle was over and she'd returned home, throwing herself into her mother's arms and…
Harry had almost died.
He was seriously injured and, apart from a couple of messages Remus had managed to receive from the clinic, she had no way of knowing how he was. She was beginning to understand the frustration Harry had shown about not knowing about Sirius's condition at Yule much, much better.
She missed Harry.
She hoped he was alright.
There was so much he had to deal with.
"Hermione?" Her mother's voice startled her and she twisted round from her place at the window to look at her.
Her mother had taken a week off work; her father covering her patients where they couldn't reschedule. Hermione couldn't remember the last time her mother had specifically taken time off to look after her. Not that her parents didn't love her – they did – and they always took holiday during Hermione's own school breaks to spend time with her and for a family vacation. But…but she remembered having flu in her final year at primary and her mother had still gone to work, leaving Hermione in the care of her usual babysitter, Mrs McGaskill. Hermione wondered whether the ambient magic of the ritual had affected her mother despite her being safe in the kitchen with the elves rather than in the ritual circle.
"Healer Allen is here."
The Healer.
Right.
Andy had mentioned that she had arranged a session with a mind healer for everyone in the House of Black.
It made sense.
Hermione squirmed inwardly at the inner surge of resentment because logically she knew it made sense for her to talk to a mind healer – and God knew she would be the first one arguing that everyone else she cared about needed to talk to one – especially if they'd gone through half of what she had experienced since she'd started at Hogwarts, never mind the battle she'd just gone through.
She sighed and got up to follow her mother into the small study her parents had on the ground floor.
She'd met Healer Allen before – Harry had introduced them. She shook his hand briefly before taking the seat opposite him.
Her mother cleared her throat. "Would you like me to stay, Hermione, or…"
"I'll be fine." Hermione said firmly, despite the nerves rioting in her belly.
Her mother nodded. "I'll be in the kitchen." She departed but didn't shut the door behind her and Hermione realised it was part of her mother's protection – she would be able to hear immediately if Hermione shouted.
"Your mother cares for you a great deal." Healer Allen said, his brown eyes warm and friendly.
"Yes," Hermione nodded, "she's been great about everything." And she had – in a way that Hermione would never have believed the year before. Being sponsored by the House of Black and her mother's friendship with Andy and others had gone a long way to enabling her mother to understand.
"Where would you like to start?" asked the healer.
"I don't know." Hermione admitted, adjusting her position a touch to get more comfortable. "Everything still seems unreal."
Healer Allen nodded. "What's your biggest concern right now…"
"Harry." Hermione talked over him and blushed. "Sorry. It's just…he went through so much."
"And what about you?" Allen stated pointedly.
Hermione shrugged, her fingers playing with the necklace. "It's not really…I mean, compared to Harry…"
Allen smiled at her gently as she stuttered to a halt. "Do you believe that because Harry went through a traumatic experience that it negates any other traumatic experiences suffered by the other people who took part in the battle?"
"No," Hermione immediately replied, "of course not! I just…" she sighed and tried to gather her thoughts into a coherent sentence. "I know it's not a competition and that his experience doesn't mean that I didn't go through something…terrifying, but Harry…he's had this madman after him, and he's had to cope with knowing he had to kill him to get away from him and that…it hurt him a lot."
"You said you found your experience terrifying." Allen stated.
"I didn't really expect to end up right beside Harry in the middle of the battle." Hermione admitted a frisson of guilt curling in her belly. "I thought…it was safe where we did the ritual. It's under Fidelius and it's protected by a lot of wards and it was safe. I was supposed to be safe."
She paused, hearing the tremor in her voice and took a breath.
"The other times Harry's faced him, it's always just been him really. I mean, in first year, we had the traps but they were…just obstacles. It was scary going after the thief but I didn't ever actually confront anyone." She smoothed her hands down her denim-clad legs and bit her lip. "And I was scared about the basilisk but then I got petrified so I didn't really know what Harry faced down in the Chamber of Secrets."
She tucked a hair behind her ear. "Last year…last year was different. I mean, both Ron and I were both with Harry when he confronted Sirius but we won't alone for long and then Remus was there and when they confronted Pettigrew it made so much sense and…it was scary but I knew we were safe? Even when we…when we helped Sirius later, I was…it was scary but I needed to focus and I realised that everything worked out; that it was meant to happen the way that it did and I had Harry with me all the time and that…it made me feel safe."
She sighed and slumped back in her chair. "And that makes me sound as bad as Ginny when she was in fangirl mode and that's not…Harry just makes me feel safe. Not because he's this hero just because he's Harry."
And that was why everything seemed so wrong because Harry wasn't there.
"So when I ended up on the battlefield…I was right beside Harry and I was glad because even if I was supposed to be safe somewhere else, I was with Harry and I could help him." Hermione frowned. "But it doesn't mean it wasn't terrifying confronting Voldemort. I was scared, really scared. But, I knew Harry was there and I was focused on doing the spell to change out Voldemort's blood so it helped me."
"How do you feel about being instrumental in Voldemort's defeat?"
The question took her by surprise and she had to think about it for a long moment.
"I guess I don't think about it like that." Hermione said. "I might have spoken the words on the battlefield but that was because Morgana sent me there; the spell was powered by the coven and Morgana herself." She tilted her head. "It was just…necessary, and I was the…the one who was there."
"What do you think made Morgana choose you?" Allen asked.
Hermione wet her lips. "Everyone in the coven loves him but I think…she came the first time when we were linked with blood in the blessing ceremony and maybe, maybe she remembered that connection." Or saw just how much Hermione loved him.
"But it's true to say that she used the necklace to send you to the battlefield and invoke the blessing." Allen pointed out, gesturing at her neck. "A necklace which is once was a gift from you to him to protect him; something he holds as precious."
Hermione blushed again. "You think she chose me because I gave Harry the necklace originally?"
"Maybe she chose not the person who loves Harry but the person who Harry loves." Allen suggested gently.
Hermione felt her cheeks heat again with another blush. She really wished the healer's theory was correct but she didn't want to jump to conclusions.
"How did you feel when Harry reacted to the threat of the magical bomb?" Allen asked softly, changing the subject and surprising her into looking at him again.
"Just…it was just so like him to save everyone." Hermione shook her head, her hair bouncing. "I…I wanted to be angry at him but I was just terrified he was dead and then…" she fingered her necklace again, "seeing Merlin and Death, that whole conversation was…it was…it was really good of the Headmaster to volunteer and I was so relieved…"
"It didn't bother you seeing Merlin and Death?" asked Allen, a curious glint in his eyes.
"Not really." Hermione said. "I mean, we'd just called the spirit of Morgana Le Fey to help us protect Harry and Harry explained about the family magic and the Peverells so it…it seemed right?" She bit her lip. "I was more concerned about Harry. He was so hurt."
"You and Harry are close." Allen commented.
"He's my best friend." Hermione said without thinking about it.
"I understand he's also your boyfriend." Allen prodded.
Hermione blushed. "Yes, but we'll always be best friends first."
"That's commendable." Allen said with a smile. "You don't think your relationship with Harry will last?"
Hermione brushed back her hair and sighed. "Statistics prove that people rarely stay with their first boyfriend or girlfriend."
Allen hummed. "But the statistics aren't about you and Harry."
Which was infuriatingly true.
Hermione dropped her hand away from her necklace as she realised she was touching it again. "I just…I just want to be realistic."
"Because then it won't hurt so much if it ends." Allen completed the thought that was in her head.
Hermione nodded, looking down a little shamefaced. "It's…I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. Harry was my first friend and if I lost him…"
But she almost had.
He'd fought a madmen for them; protected them from a magical bomb.
Her eyes filled with tears and suddenly she was crying.
Her mother was suddenly just there. Hermione felt her mother wrap her arms around her and draw her into an embrace and she sank into the comfort.
It seemed like forever before she stopped crying. Her mother shifted to sit on the arm of the chair. Healer Allen hadn't moved but his eyes held a wealth of empathetic understanding.
"I really wish Harry was here." Hermione whispered.
Allen nodded. "If he was here what would he say?"
"He'd tell me I was brilliant and he'd hug me and everything would feel right again." Hermione swiped at her face again and blew out a breath.
"You're not alone in that wish." Allen commented. "I believe the House of Black and its allies are feeling the absence of Lord Potter very keenly."
"Has there been any further news?" asked her mother before Hermione could.
"Not yet today." Allen held up his hand. "Miss Granger, I'd like to propose that you and your family move into the Black estate for the duration of the rest of the week, along with some of your closest allies. While I believe your immediate family," he acknowledged her mother with a nod, "is a wonderful support, I think you and others would benefit from being close and sharing your worry."
Hermione looked up at her mother who looked at the healer as though assessing his sincerity.
Her mother sighed. "I'll agree on the proviso I go too."
"Of course." Allen stood up. "I'll let Steward Lupin know your decision. I'm sure he'll be in touch shortly."
Hermione thanked the healer as he took his leave and headed upstairs to pack while her mother showed him out. It was a relief to know she was going to be staying with Remus and the others. It was the only way she could be certain to find out exactly how Harry was as soon as everyone else did.
Her mother knocked on her doorframe. "You alright packing?"
Hermione nodded. Before she could change her mind she crossed the room and hugged her mother. "Thank you."
Her mother hugged her tightly. "You know Harry's not the only one who thinks you're brilliant."
Hermione gave a laugh and continued soaking up the maternal comfort.