*
Someone was pushing past the crowd. Someone who was sweaty like her, someone who had rushed to reach this place and tired themselves out.
It's as if the rooftop was Sariel's heart, and Erida was intruding in it. Her mind flashes to when they first met, her valiant small back that stood between the horrors of her past. The horror that seemed a little silly now that she calmed down and grew slightly sensible about these matters.
Erida walked closer to her, was she here for revenge? Sariel deserved it... Was what she thought. She never faced away as Erida took laboured breaths and closed the distance gradually. When they reached within arm's length, Sariel closed her eyes, ready to be hit. It would be the first time, but with how she was... She wouldn't be surprised if she faced some bullying in elementary school. She only realised now that she was deeply ill suited to maintaining relationships with others.
At home she received unconditional love, she had no idea how to give it. She didn't know what to do when her friends were sad, angry, happy. Ah... Has she been doing nothing, all this time?
A wet and heavy warmth wrapped around her torso. When she opened her eyes, she was being embraced.
"I'm sorry... It was my fault for not managing my time well." (Erida)
"N... NOO!!!!" (Sariel)
She could blame herself easily at the tip of her hat, but not Erida. She couldn't accept that. For the first time she reacted without hesitating. She was certain. Her resolve has already been broken down from defeat... But this situation was so foreign to her that it broke whatever sensibilities she had. She stopped caring about her own determination to live without friends, she couldn't accept Erida blaming herself at any cost!
Inevitably, her tears began to flow out heavily. They wet her cheeks and cause her cries to be riddled with hiccups and wheezing. Inhaling and exhaling sharply, her voice came out in waves of whimpers, her hands raised themselves weakly, but her fingers gripped Erida's shoulders with strength unbefitting her stature.
"I... I ran! I didn't save you! I... It's not that I couldn't, I'm a coward...!!! Aaaaahh~!!! " (Sariel)
She freely let out her voice now that no one was here but the two of them. Her throat would grow hoarse from it, but she couldn't care less. Her emotions poured out like an eruption, her thoughts and conflicting emotions had been scrambled beyond their limit, the sword had dropped on her head and she could no longer bear the pain.
Was this a good memory? Why was she seeing this?
The once crying elementary schooler looked straight at her. Her gaze was still stuffed with tears and snot, she would speak to her like her kindergartener self did.
"... Maybe it was good that we ran. There's no rules saying we have to face everything head on. Do you want to run, or to confront?" (Sariel)
It seemed that after she ran, Erida made up with her friends and explained how vulnerable Sariel was, as well as her concern for her. Eventually, Sariel would be accepted into their group of friends, becoming their 5th member. Her elementary school days remained fruitful even when they separated into different classes. They still hung out during lunch and after school. Uneventful, that was the best state of affairs that Sariel could wish for.
It was during middle school... That such a life was robbed from her. Her life had no particular value or peculiarities. It was an accident. She just happened to be at the worst possible combination of time and place, she slipped her foot on the stairs. Erida who was next to her threw herself without hesitation, cushioning Sariel's fall while hitting her own head. Erida was sent to a nearby clinic where advanced technology preserved her comatosed life.
No one blamed her, everyone knew how Erida was like. There was nothing notable about the case, so there was not much interference from the civil defence force, save for a couple of interviews. The interviews took place in Sariel's own room... She refused to step out for a year... Until Erida awoke from her coma. By then, she had already lost a year of her life and it would never be given back. She'll have to be in a class with a new batch of students...
She might get alienated, face some difficulty fitting in... Or knowing her, she might just be able to get along well with everyone. Hearing the good news, Sariel felt like she regained some hope and wanted to try stepping into school once more. Her parents were supportive of her, showering her with praises.
"Sorry... I need some time to myself. After everything that happened, y'know? I was stupid..." (Erida)
She didn't outright blame Sariel, but Sariel had matured enough to understand what Erida was implying.
"... R-right... Of course... " (Sariel)
She stuttered, her eyes couldn't lay her gaze on Erida's countenance. Her hand gripped her other arm, keeping her stare towards the ground until Erida's footsteps faded into the distance. Looking back up, Erida was definitely older and more grown up than before. Her back no longer looked valiant, it looked a little weak and shrivelled, a clear effect from surviving solely on iv drips during her period of coma.
Guilt constricted around Sariel's heart, threatening to stop her breath. She stepped back and headed to her new class. She had also been assigned to a new class in the one year of her absence. She could no longer continue to worry her parents, now that Erida was okay, it felt like she no longer had an excuse to bury herself in her room. Lest she make her parents fall out of love. They would never, but to her it was an absolute fear.
She finished the remaining 2 years of middle school without incident. In the first and second year of high school as well, she kept to herself and began to have a sort of aloof reputation. Her grades were always at the top, her beauty matured gracefully to draw stares wherever she went.
The middle school Sariel stares at her, ready to chid her as well.
"This guilt... Is it still with you? Maybe it was fine to run away. What do you think?" (Middle school Sariel)
"..." (Present Sariel)