CHAPTER 1
EMILY POV
Thinking back now, I thought it was a perfect love story, loving someone wasnt a crime, love sometimes teach us how to pivot.
It was a chance encounter, we met on the same bus, heading to the same destination.
We talked about different things, from entertainment to politics and economic crisis. We clicked I thought then.
A perfect match I thought
We exchanged numbers and went our seperate ways, we started having late night calls saying sweet nothing's to each other, the long ones. Chatted until midnight.
After that came his first visit, and mine.
We were inseparable, though by distance but not in our heart.
It was sweet, beautifully and fulfilling at first then our flaws started showing up, his emotional detachment anytime we had misunderstandings, his silence pricked my hurting heart each time he does that.
Myself being insecure and plenty trust issues started acting up, suspecting him at any small mistakes, his silence made everything worse, giving me an impression that I was right about my guess every time.
I thought the fact that I was faithful and loyal to him means he does same too, thinking back now, i was really gullible.
Thinking back to the present I flinched, I say down staring at my phone.
I just had a call with him, telling me he need a month break from the relationship to think, it felt like my world was crashing down and Dave didn't mind letting it crash.
Yes his name is Dave, a man I have loved for almost 3 years, weavon my future goals with, had watched pampered me like a priceless jewel now telling me he needed space.
Where and how do I start from, I was too attached and obsessed with him already, coming from a home of a single parent that was emotionally distant, it felt like he was my world.
I called back. "Baby….we can solve these issues if we work it out together, you don't have to get a break, baby I can't stay a day without your voice or text. Please it doesn't have to be this way" I begged.
" Yes you can, I'm trying to be polite now, please let me have this time for myself. Don't be selfish" he retorted back at me with impatience clearly evident in his tone.
My heart tightened, it felt like I couldn't breath properly anymore, I choked with sob. " What has happened to you? We always settle our issues babe" I asked with tears falling down from my eyes.
He lashed out " you never try to trust me even for a second, I love you yes I really do but i need peace, its not as if we are breaking up, stop throwing tamtrums"
I freaked out "Dave tell me, are you seeing someone now? Is that why you want a break?" I asked while my hand clenched my phone tightly.
"You see, these are the reasons I need space from you, must it be another woman, can't I have a moment of calm Because I have an insecure partner?" He shouted.
" What…..now you call me insecure?" I asked with disbelief written on my face.
" Please let me have some peace and quiet, I'm literaly begging you right now and please stop calling or texting till the break is over. Bye" he said before hanging up.
This….this is torture, I cried myself to sleep that night.
Waking up the next day, I felt empty, it was as if I am floating into a bottomless pit, wallowing in self doubt, heart break and self pity.
I couldn't concentrate no matter how hard I try, my life has been rotating with him in it, suddenly asking for break catched me off guard than I expected.
I tried to use work to distract myself but it was futile, I came back home hurridly because tears wouldn't stop falling from my eyes. They were too red and swollen and I didn't want anyone asking me questions.
When I went back home, I went into my room and locked the door.
I couldn't resist the urge to call him, I called twice but he didn't pick up the call.
I started looking up our old messages,voice notes and recorded calls, yes I usually record our calls he is not aware about it though. I'm really obsessively I'm love with him beyond my control.
I smiled with tears as I read our chats and listened to his soothing voice, it was magical.
I let my emotions have the better part of me, doesn't even think rationally and is dangerously in love with him, my love for him was too much,too scary.
I haven't learnt how to love myself more, I couldn't even tell my parent what was going on, he is emotionally distant and tries to avoid such topics every time.
I decided to call his mom, explaining what was going on between us. She told me to be patient and see how it goes before the break ends, promising to talk to her son.
That calmed me a little bit then again my phone buzzed and it was Dave calling.
With shaking hands I picked up the call
" Why did you call and told my mum that? What are doing that for?, why are you making me look like a villain now" he bombed me with several questions.
"I didn't call to make trouble, I just wanted her to talk to you, I didn't intend to make you look like a villain, I'm sorry" I begged.
He didn't even reply, he just hung up the call cutting me off. I tried calling again and to my horror he has blocked my number.
I felt tortured by the man I have poured all my love on, the pain was too much for me.
So the break began officially, the days were bearable but the night were pure pain, sleep woundnt come, it was difficult.
When ever I close my eyes to sleep, sweet memories kept floating into may head, making my heart ache more.
I relied of sleeping pills for the first seven days, those seven days felt like seven months, most times I did look his last seen on Whatsapp, afraid to text him for fear of being blocked there. I comforted myself by looking at his last seen, his insta and Facebook fields.
It felt like I was a stalker and stranger to him now.
DAVE POV
It wasn't as if I didn't love her, I did and I tried to make the relationship work but it wasn't just working out and now I have run out of love for her.
All I feel for her now is pity, she lacked family love and self love.
I feel guilty some times but I try to console my self that it is better this way, maybe before the break ends she will give up on me and move on also maybe she might be able to see clearly and love herself more.
Her love for me was too dangerous, feice, possessive and too obsessed, it freak the hell outta me honestly.
That kind of love is too good for me.
She always thought I was cheating on her, never trusted me but the truth is that I have been cheating on her since our second year together.
She pushed me to my limit, she did accused me of cheating when I wasn't so I got really angry and started cheating on her, I made myself believe I will marry her, that I should just have a moment of fun outside to calm my nerves, that she will change but she didn't.
She became even worse, little by little I started hating her, the love I had for her gradually thinned out to nothingness.
But I still stayed, she did come to my house uninvited solely to catch me cheating, her emotional intelligence was really zero.
These last few months were torture for me, we quarreled everyday, turn on each other like we hated ourselves then turn around again to start saying sweet nothing's to each other.
I know that there is no relationship without issues but ours was too much, she pushed me too far. And that's when it dawned on me that if I continue like this I might die before my time, I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life healing someone I didn't break, I wanted happiness peace and understanding love that builds on solid trust.
And Emily wasn't it at all. She was all I wanted when we started but along the line it became messy, I admit that she was honest with me, loved me to the core and was faithful even though I haven't married her, she only had eyes for me but she was too impulsive.
Sometimes I wonder how we got here.
Truth is, I can't sacrifice my happiness for her because I pity her, I can't marry because she is not ready to change.
She made loving her hell for me, I can't even talk to my female friends, can't take a picture with any lady, it always hurt me that upon all the love I gave her it wasn't enough for her, I tried to be open with her so she could trust me but it didn't work.
We had big quarrels over little things, it was exhausting to be honest.
I had to escape from it all.
CHAPTER 2
EMILY'S POV
When it got to the seventh day, I couldn't hold on on my own any more.
I called my friend Dera and told her everything that was happening, she sighed and told me to pack some clothes and come stay at her place till everything cools down, she didn't tell me but I know she fears that I might harm myself.
I was grateful to her for her kindness.
When she saw me, she was stunned.
" Emily what is this….what are you doing to yourself because of a man?" she shouted while supporting me into her apartment.
I couldn't hold it in, I cried feeling pitiful.
"Dera, he said he wanted space, I know it's just an excuse to see someone else, Dera I'm in pain, it hurts everywhere" I said while crying.
"Do you think he is crying ass you are doing here?" Dera was blunt
That stroke a nerve, yes. He might be having a good time with someone else right now while I'm here crying but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, maybe he didn't even love me from the begining.
I guess I was just naive.
Dera looked at me shaking her head
" So you wanna give up on yourself and love because of one man hurt you? You should be grateful that it isn't a divorce, you are beautiful with all the curves and charms, you got those pretty smiles why waste your youth on a man that is adamant to continuously hurt you? Aren't you tired?, it's been years Emily, if he wanted to marry you he would have done that a long time ago, get a grip girl, have some backbone". Dera adviced.
I shouted " I would have preferred a divorce Dera, I gave him my all, my innocense, my love, was faithful,honest, treated him like the only man on earth and this is what I get?"
" You are really pathetic and unbelievable" Dera snorted.
" I guess I'm really pathetic"
Dera chuckled and hugged me " baby girl, I no it's not easy, take your time to cry it all out and heal okay, you need some cheering up, let me take you for a drink"
I smiled and went to the wardrobe to change change into something casual but hot, did a little work on my face and I went with her to a bar.
We drank, laughed out loud to our unfunny jokes and danced to the hip-hop music, as we were engrossed in our conversation a gentle man came in.
My high school crush, Leo.
He is still so charming as ever, he smiled and sat down close to me.
"It's been a while" he said, I was flustered by his handsome facial features.
" Yeah" I replied " got a partner yet?" I burted out unknowingly
" I did once but it didn't work out, mind giving me your contact?" He asked
He was so direct I thought
"Here you go, it's been years mind if we take a picture to freeze the moment?" I asked
He laughed and nodded
And so we took some few but stunning pictures and he went else where.
Dera looked at me with a knowing smile
" What" I asked
"Nothing" she replied " Do you still have Dave's WhatsApp contact on your phone?" She asked grinning
"Yes I do, why?"
"Well I was thinking, it's been almost half a month now since the break, why don't you shake things up a little bit, you know….post the picture you took with your crush on you status" she smiled evilly
I laughed unable to guess what she was planning " what are you planning girl, well it isn't bad to post him anyway" I said then posted the picture.
We danced, drank, took funny pictures and went home drunk as hell.
DAVE'S POV
I sat down on the bed in my bedroom, staring at the picture she posted on her wall.
She was still as beautiful as ever but only her eyes betrayed her, it doesn't have that shine again, it has become dull.
I shifted my gaze to the man next to her, her high school chrush she told me about, they looked so good together that it hurt me.
I know I was letting go but it wasn't easy for me, I get distracted easily at work, I'm always refreshing my time line for any news from her but she hasn't posted anything since then.
It has been half a month now since we talked last, I missed how humorous she was when she tells me stories, how she hummed when she cooked our meals at my apartment.
How she moaned my name shakingly on our intimate moments, how soft her body is, How her eyes looked at me as if she was worshiping me, how she always acted cute when I scold her, I can't lie I missed it all.
It's been a month since we had sex, when she came over uninvited, I rough handled her, thrusting too hard into her, making her cry and beg but I didn't stop, it was the first sex we had without protection.
And now she was interacting with her crush, I should be happy I told myself, this is what I wanted but deep down I felt rage and jealousy clouding my rationality.
Looking at the hand that held her waist, I felt like choping it off.
My heart skipped a beat, and it finally dawned on me that I still care, still love her. I was just too scared to continue with her because of her behaviors and it stung me so bad that I didn't even know when I messaged her.
What are you doing with your crush?
Don't tell me you guys are dating already
It's been only just 15days since we talked last and you can't hold yourself any longer?
Are you that eager to be on someone else bed?
I hit send then became sober all of a sudden…..shit….I messaged her, what is she going to think now?
I switched off my phone and lay in bed looking at the ceiling silently cursing myself out until I slept off.
EMILY'S POV
Waking up the next morning, the alcohol we had last night still lingered in my nerves, I got up and freshened up, walking out of the bathroom my phone rang, when I looked at the called my hand froze, didn't he say he needed space from me? I thought.
As I picked up the phone and answered the call, it was silent for a moment before I heard that voice I have longed for speaking
" Hey….I saw your post, i guess you moved on pretty quick right? already hooked up with your high school crush so soon….hmmmp" he said
I tensed up, " No don't misunderstand, it was a chance encounter,it's not what it seem, I have never cheated on you I for 3years why would I do that for only a month?" I said trying to stay calm.
He chuckled " We were also a chance encounter, are you forgetting so soon?, I told you we should go on a break, I didnt say you should go to someone's bed"
I choked trying to fight back tears "Dave I gave you my innocense, you should know me, I'm not that dirty"
"Suit yourself" he said before hanging up
I clicked on my messages and that when I saw his messages.
Was he worried about me?
Was he jealous?
Does he still love me and want us back?
These questions keep ringing in my head,
I was confused, why is he acting this way?.
Walked out to the kitchen and saw Dera boiling some rice, I stood in the doorway and said " he called and messaged me…..was this the reason you told me to post that picture?"
Dera laughed " Obviously baby, what else, I wanted you to get back at him, I bet he was hurt"
"Dera that not fair, we shouldn't do these things. I just want to move on now" I said smiling at her.
" You are still so considerate, he hurt you first" Dera retorted
"Okay you win, you did great but let's not do that again okay" I said why laughing.
DAVE'S POV
I looked at my phone after hanging up on her, i was sething with anger, confusiom and jealousy.
I don't know what has gotten into me, since I have heard her voice I couldn't take her out of my head, I took my keys and drove to a club nearby.
I wanted to get her of my head, the way that guy held her waist was making my veins bulge.
I sat down drinking the sixth bottle when a young lady came by, dressed very seductively with boobs almost coming out of her tight fitted clothe.
*Hello dear" she said looking at me seductively "I feel you might need some company" she said adjusting her clothes to make her boobs more pumped out.
I know exactly what she wanted….sex.
And me who finally found a way to get Emily out of my head, held the woman's wrist. Leading her to the restroom.
And there we had sex with her for several rounds, she looked alot similar to Emily, maybe I should keep contact with her.
After everything I asked her " what is your name"
She replied "Kenny….my name is Kenny"
"So Kenny do mind if we do this again?" I asked looking at her small face.
"Well I don't really mind" she replied
She looked alot like Emily that I swear that I can see Emily's shadow in her.
I was a little excited, maybe I can finally let go completely.
EMILY'S POV
I decided to start writing again, I have a contract with a newsletter company, I decided to work from home and nolonger in the company.
So I started this morning, writing some things but my mind was preoccupied, I deleted what I just typed, again and again.
I sat back to take some time off, unconsciously I was hoping that he will call me or something but the call never came.
All of a sudden I felt nauseous, hating the smell of what Dera was cooking, I went out to take in some fresh air.
My phone's buzzed, when I looked at it, it was a reminder from my flow app reminding me that I haven't ticked my period for the month,my heart skipped a beat.
I went back into Dera"s small apartment calling out to her, "Dera, do you still have that test trip you didn't use then?"
"Yes why?"
"I need it, I have to take a test" I said
"Take a test?" " Don't tell me you are pregnant for that dushbag" Dera roared.
"Can you gimme the test strip first?" I asked nervously.
She went into her room and came back with it "I really hope it doesn't happen" she said looking at me pitifully.
I don't even know if I should be happy or sad, I was a little happy that if I am really pregnant maybe, just maybe there might be a breakthrough between me and Dave but then again I was starting to let go a little.
Being pregnant will tie me to him.
I went into the bathroom to do the test, the time I was waiting felt like eternity, there it was….two visible lines!