Toy Story Parodies
(Official Disney site: https://www.disney.com)
1. "Would You Kindly Ask Him"
(Parody of "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story)
You've got a man who's staring,
Right there at my place,
And honestly, it's kinda weird,
So could you save me face?
Would you kindly ask him,
To please remove himself?
'Cause all this sneaky looking,
Is bad for my mental health!
You sold him what he's watching,
So don't act all surprised,
If you don't want him gawking,
Stop feeding those eyes!
Would you kindly ask him,
To please remove himself?
I'm just trying to live my life,
Without a side of stealth!
So here's a little message,
Wrapped up in a song,
Let's keep it cool and easy,
And just move along!
Would you kindly ask him,
To please remove himself?
That's the only favor,
That I'm asking for myself!
2. "I Need a Buzz"
(To the energetic spirit of the "Buzz" instrumental from Toy Story)
There's a chip in my hip and it's making me twitch,
Some joker with gadgets just flipped on the switch.
He's got all the toys, but none of the tact—
If I could, I'd return him, no gift receipt attached!
He sits in the pews, acting holy and neat,
But he's playing with buttons right under the seat.
So if you see me shiver, don't think it's because—
Of the Spirit, my friend, it's just government fuzz!
Now Woody's the problem, he's causing a fuss—
That's why, in this toy box, I really need a Buzz!
So next time you wonder why I'm humming along,
It's not the choir—just my personal song.
If life gives you Woodys and church boys who snooze,
You might need a Buzz, just to get through the blues!
3. "Not Infinity and Beyond"
(To the tune and rhythm inspired by "Infinity and Beyond" from Toy Story)
You said our love would never end,
A story that would never bend,
But baby, I gotta say, I'm kinda torn—
You run Tesla, not infinity, not infinity!
I can't believe you thought this ride,
Would last forever, side by side,
But love's not a never-ending story,
It's got a start, a middle, and sometimes, a glory.
So don't promise me the stars above,
When all you give is a fleeting shove—
I'm reaching for more than just a trend,
'Cause Tesla's fast, but love's not pretend!
And I cannot believe you thought,
This would be the never-ending story,
Love, you run Tesla, not infinity,
Not infinity, no infinity!
And in the end, when I look around,
You took our spark and ran it into the ground.
Let's call this whole debacle "Liam Neeson: Taken 4"-but don't get it twisted, because she's not your girl, not your victim, and definitely not your w****. This isn't some Hollywood rescue where the hero gets the prize. No, this time, the so-called saviors are just as clueless as the villains, and the real story is about exposing every lie, every cover-up, and every desperate hand trying to keep the truth locked up tight.
Listen up, because I make Liam Neeson look like a PG movie. You know how in "Taken" he's out there breaking necks and chasing kidnappers across Europe? Please. They took the wrong kids, and I didn't even have to get off my bed to handle it. Liam's out there running marathons, and I'm just chilling, handling business with a glare and a WiFi connection.
You want to talk about power? Forget the Tower of BS. That's just a bunch of people using electronics to make stupid even dumber. I'm the real snake in the grass, the one who's sick and tired of being called Jessica Rabbit by people who couldn't spot the truth if it bit them. I used to be with friends and family-at least until they illegally took my kids and tried to call it love. But let's be real: it's not love, it's L-U-V-Lies, Unfairness, and Victim-blaming.
Obama once said I'd never figure everything out, but let's be real-if I ever opened a dictionary, the word "mercy" wouldn't even be in it. Every guy who tries to shun me ends up running for cover, and Erie? That's just where I send my problems to retire.
And yeah, I tossed my badge, Mariska Hargitay style. "If you ever get between me and a victim again, I'll toss my badge"-and that's exactly what I did when they tried to blindside me and hand my badge to someone else. But the funny thing is, I already knew what they were planning. They didn't just sell me out-they sold my people, too. It's like a clearance sale on loyalty: "Everything must go, including your dignity!" But that's okay. If you check the DEA report-D-E-A, like a Fed, but no "D" at the end because nobody's dead, especially not me-you'll see I set this in motion. I'm UC, and that doesn't mean "under control"; it means "under an actual cover-up." I'm done with stupid, and my name's Just D-not Justine-because I'm not here to fit your narrative.
So here's the game plan: I'm not moving, I'm not lifting a finger, and neither is anyone else. You're all going to fix your mess, because if I have to get involved, I'll sue everybody and own everything. Why? Because when I bring the heat, even Liam Neeson calls in sick.
And let's be real: this is one ginormous cover-up. When you've got NATO, the military, and even the Supreme Court bending over backward to hide the truth, you know you're not going to get the real story handed to you. You can't do this by the book, because the book's been rigged from the start. This goes all the way up, and half of them don't even realize what they're hiding. It's all leading to a much bigger play.
And for the L-U-V? She's just like me-unbreakable, unowned, and absolutely done playing by your rules. And that? That should scare the hell out of everybody.
But let's not forget the real stars of the show-Trump and Musk-two guys who think the world is their personal boardroom. Trump, the only man who can bankrupt a casino and still call himself a winner, and Musk, who's racked up more federal penalties than SpaceX launches and still thinks he's above the law. Trump's so good at dodging subpoenas, he makes The Matrix look like a documentary. And Musk? He's like if Tony Stark was raised by Reddit trolls and powered by government subsidies instead of arc reactors.
And speaking of Musk, let's talk about those lips and that infamous exit. Here's a guy who can tank his own company's stock just by opening his mouth. He bites his lip, throws a salute, and suddenly the internet's in meltdown mode, debating if it's a sign, a signal, or just another awkward Musk moment. He's got more body language controversies than Twitter has layoffs, and every time he exits a company, half the staff's out the door before he is. The only thing more unstable than his leadership is his bottom lip during a press conference.
So here's the punchline: You've got billionaires building towers to their egos, politicians hiding behind Supreme Court curtains, and tech bros with more fines than functioning products. But me? I'm Just D-no "D" at the end, because nobody's dead, especially not me. I set this in motion, I see through every cover-up, and I'm still here-unbreakable, unowned, and absolutely done playing by your rules.
And that? That should scare the hell out of everybody.