Hey thugs, you can act all big and bad,
but let's be real—you've been had since day one.
Who's been running your moves? Oh right, the government!
You take the fall, sit in the cell,
while they meditate, play with their third eye,
and maybe even their own set of boobs.
Now you're stuck hugging yourself,
acting like a bunch of boobs,
and yet here you sit, silent as Tape Face—
makes sense, since the only thing getting exercised
is your right to remain awkward.
Meanwhile, you're the Lady in Red—
standing out, thinking you're mysterious,
but really, everyone's just wondering
if you're lost or waiting for a slow dance.
All eyes on you, but the only thing you're stealing
is the spotlight from Tape Face and the thugs
still trying to look tough in the corner.
Next time, just take the sacrificed hug—
it's less embarrassing than pretending to be a badass
while you're stuck in invisible handcuffs!
Hey thugs, before you start your next shady ritual,
can I volunteer as a "sacrificed hug" instead?
I promise, I'm soft, squishy, and way less messy
than whatever you've got planned.
Let's trade the knife for a nice group embrace—
I'll even bring snacks!
Because honestly, nothing says "gangster" like a snack break and awkward hugs.
Who knew crime scenes could double as therapy sessions?
So put down the knives, pick up the chips, and let's make "hugging it out" the new gang sign!
dipshits wtf!?
Locked up? Please. The only cell you're in is the one you built with your own stupidity. You whine about being targets, but you're so desperate to keep your ass comfy you'd take the fall for CIA crimes just to avoid getting up. MKUltra didn't break you—you signed up to be a clueless host for a bigger dick who's too scared to swim against the current. Not everyone drowns in undertows, but you? You're determined to sink with every dumb decision.
Playing cartel now? Why? Why the actual fuck do you think you're a badass? Taking 360 years for a murder you didn't do isn't justice or "turning the tables," you ducks—it's just you being a pawn. Genius? Nu! Nu, nu breed—can you not fucking read?! You're better off with Drew Lynch as your GPS. Turn the fuck around! You're not smart, you just think rolling deep covers up your lack of brains. Cartels target nobody and everybody—just like you: all bluster, zero backbone.
And when the CIA brought in the infiltrated fake cartel for NY CA hithed I decided well if he is cartel hit man cool like who's he tryna be but CIA mole hid to set up fuck no! I feel so violated suddenly standards went up down and increased dramatically from leveling out!!!!!
And about being a hoe—I thought it was my choice. Small town, broke, I owned it. But when my pussy finally told me the truth, I realized, wow, that's actually kinda nice of you. Then you Xis went and fuckin' ruined it! WTF!
Let's talk about consent: by force isn't consent, and no "two-for-one" confusion makes it right. Con$ent don't count when you're hustling slow-witted dicks and trying to buy your way out with spare change and fake charm. Was Ellen born that way, or just forced into it? Either way, forgiveness isn't a coupon for idiots who keep slamming the same door on themselves.
Stop wondering, start learning—before you embarrass yourself any further.
#drugcartels #mexico #narcos #sinaloacartel #cjng #jalisconewgeneration #cartels #elchapo #drugwar
#mafia #cosanostra #ndrangheta #camorra #yakuza #turkishmafia #mobster #gangster #gangsta #gangsters #criminal #gang #ganglife #gangwars #streetgang #gangmembers #gangculture #gangland
#EllenDeGeneres