On the day clarisa turned 6, her world was turned upside down.
'Anna ' she mumbled as she stared blankly into space. Was it all a dream? It makes no sense i can still remember it as clear as day. The life of Anna Adams, in a world without carriages or magic. A world with flying planes and houses that touch the sky. I lived in that world till the age of 20 where I passed away from a hereditary disease. I had family that loved me and stayed by my bedside on my darkest nights.
There was a saying ' you only live once' so why? Why? Why am I here right now? Why do I have to receive mother's hateful glare each day, brother's neglectful gaze, father's daily torture. ' you only live once' what nonsense. Her little hands slam against her sheets as her eyes well up and tears begin to pour down. Im not sad, I'm just so angry. If I wasn't going to live once then why? Why? Why did I have to live suppressing myself? Even when my illness took over my body I still lived everyday suppressing my desires because you only live once so I tried to live my life to the fullest. A life devoid of greed and envy. I never gave love a chance because I was dying anyway. Even when my first love started dating my best friend I smiled, grit me teeth and congratulated them . I never once wished for or asked for what wasn't mine. So why? Why did it happen to me. I don't want a second life, I don't want a do over. My first life was more than enough for me. One was more than enough. The tears continued to pour as her head began to throb and her throat close up as breathing was getting harder. Her hands clenched tightly against the sheets as they began to pale and go numb.
Now here is my second life or is this a dream? Is this heaven that people always spoke about? But this can't be heaven. If this was anything it would be the pit of hell. The deepest, darkest and loneliest part of hell. And here i was the main attraction, an object of hate and scorn.
Clarisa lay her head back down. Her golden locks sprawled across the pillows as her tears continued to soak the sheets. She felt nauseous as the bile rose up to her throat.
I need to think, I always read novels like this what do the leads there always do? Right now I'm just a child 6 years old none the less what exactly can a powerless child from a counts household possibly achieve.
Clarisa Dumont, the name i was given in this new life. Only daughter of count Arno dumont and countess Olivia dumont. I have an older brother Clark dumont who is 10 years older , he is hailed as a magic prodigy. At the age of 10 he was already able to use 6th circle magic an impressive achievement even from someone of the dumont bloodline.
The door creaked open " my lady" a maid walked in looking disheveled. Her black hair looked unkempt and her face was pale with puffy eyes like she had cried all night.
" Sarah did you cry all night?"
She closed the door running to my side and tearing up again.
"The count was too much this time my lady... hic... how could he hit you on the head with his cane... hic.... the healer said you should be fine..hic... but.. but what I'd it happens again? What if I can't come fast enough to save you.. hic... my lady i don't want you to die"
"Sarah look I'm fine" I say flexing my arms. But I know she is right. I don't know the reason for it but father has always hated me. Normally he would result to just a slap across the face or lots of hateful words but yesterday he took it a step further hitting my head with his cane. I guess that trauma was enough to make me either hallucinate about my first life or make me remember it. I still find it hard to believe.
I stroke Sarah's head gently as she sobs by my bedside.
What do i do now? I always read about the pitiful female leads, whenever they were reincarnated as children they use memories of their past life to start up business, act cute to gain their family's love and then gain an harem of men. Could something like that happen to me? Then maybe someday I could see father smile brightly and tell me he loves me, mother would stroke my head affectionately while we talk about dresses and brother and I could go on outings where he would loudly proclaim about his cute sister. I want it, so maybe this time I could live without regrets, maybe this is the reason I was given a second chance. A chance to live my life to the fullest. A life filled with all the beauty of life.
I'll try, yes that's right. Now I know you don't only live once it's time for me to live a little selfishly.