I like her ,or I think I do for years I've held back ,no I stood a million steps behind her yearning for the day I'll grow the guts to move those steps . She has always been the girl in my mind isn't enough to call it love but I am confused because I'm married and have kids with another person who chose me . Maybe is time I clean the place in my heart I've been keeping her .BUT HOW CAN I FORGET HER .
They one who said that one does not forget there first love was the most wisest person to ever walk on this earth . I have always had my heart under constraints but its times like this that I can't just relax ,when it's late evening I have been like this since that time ,and I can't still recover even after years of therapy . Many people just accepted this little part of me and I had not told anybody.
I left the house with a little girl with the most beutiful eyes and brown hair on my mind to go for the only thing that can keep me to calm down. After walking for an hour ,I had walked six kilometres according to my smart watch and was about to stop for a breather when my breath got caught on my throat by what I saw.
Not what but who.
Brown hair dancing in the wind to nature's choreography.Her hair was the brown of aged mahogany, rich and deep, yet with the subtle hues only time brings. With each stride the strands tumbled, reflecting the fading daylight in waves., chestnut brown hair fell in loose waves down her back, catching the light with every movement , she was jogging as if she was a dream or a fairytale come alive .
My poor heart almost stopped and my body felt like running beside her for the first time in years just like when we were young .
'James look at yourself you are getting old and you can't allow a childhood dream to crawl back into your life'
'but she is right there after a decade I got to see her again in real life ,'
'I should at least say hi'
'no you can't do that remember'
'it's not like I'm asking for her hand in marriage '
'ha. Don't make me laugh ,you know more than anybody else that it is not gonna be that easy.Let her be this is probably the last time you will be seeing her '
'why could I erase you from my mind, but my heart would never let me forget. For it to all come back like a strong wave deep in the ocean to takey ship to the death of the abyss c
I continued with my inward conversation whilst she passed me ,I crossed over to the other side deep in saddening thoughts ,doubt creeping in to my choice of not taking the chance again.
But alas age had done her no harm matter of fact she has become more beautiful.And her eyes were as brown as I remembered, pupils flecked with gold like beach pebbles.
Tonight shall be a long night ,a depressing one indeed or it shall be a happy one who knows,for my mind clearly didn't. At that moment a golden ring came to my mind and I started hurrying home