I died the way I lived—pathetically.
Face down in a puddle of warm soda, hand still crammed down my pants, with a pixelated tentacle orgy flickering on my screen.
The cause of death?
Choked on a goddamn meatball.
Not exactly a warrior's farewell.
But honestly, it fits. I wasn't living some glorious life to begin with.
I was surviving.
Barely.
Abusive parents. An unstable home. Constant bullying. Poverty so deep I could see hell's floor. Every day felt like a sick joke, and guess who was the punchline?
Me.
So yeah, when the lights finally went out, I figured I'd earned at least a quiet, shame-free rest.
Maybe some peace.
Maybe oblivion.
Right?
Haha....
Yeah. No
Even death had other plans.
Because right now, I'm not in some afterlife lounge sipping ghost mojitos.
No.
I'm lying on the hard ground, buttass naked, with nothing but the swaying branches of a dying tree giving me shade.
The bark's digging into my spine. There's dirt in places dirt has no business being. My nuts are shriveling from the morning breeze. And unless I spontaneously grew a third leg, something's crawling on me.
For a moment, I think I'm still in some kind of fever dream. Maybe I passed out and this is just my brain cooking in the last five seconds of oxygen.
But then I smell it.
Fresh air. The kind of clean, earthy scent that never existed in my cramped, mildew-soaked apartment. The light filtering through the leaves above isn't fluorescent—it's sunlight, golden and harsh.
Which means either I'm alive…
Or someone buried me in the middle of a fantasy-themed park with a fog machine and a sick sense of humor.
Then it happens.
A sudden ding—not in my ears, but in my skull. Like a notification straight to the soul.
[System Initialization Complete.]Welcome, Host.Binding process: 100%Configuration: Breeder Class – UnlockedReproduction Potential: SSSLibido Index: UncappedTarget Affinities: Scanning...
I stare at the blue screen floating in front of me. Not a hologram. Not a hallucination. It's real. As real as the cold wind hitting my exposed—
Okay, real enough.
[Congratulations, Host.]You have been selected by the Breeding System.Objective: Breed, Dominate, Ascend.Every conquest strengthens you. Every release reshapes fate.Failure results in… irrelevance.
"Well, f*** me sideways."
Another screen pops up. This one's worse.
[Skill Unlocked: Sexual Insight Lv.1]Allows basic appraisal of potential breeding partners.Range: 10 metersCooldown: NonePassive: Highlights ovulation cycles and arousal states.
"...That's not creepy at all."
[Starting Location: Forest of Fallen Light]Warning: No clothing, equipment, or social status.Bonus Trait granted: Raw Appeal – Pity AttractionGood luck, you absolute degenerate.
The screen vanishes with a sarcastic shimmer.
I sit up, dirt sticking to my ass, and look around. Trees. Wind. Somewhere in the distance, I hear water running. Birds chirp overhead like they're mocking me.
No people. No weapons. No instructions beyond "go breed and conquer."
Fantastic.
Here I am—just died choking on a meatball while mid-jerk—and now I'm supposed to turn into some kind of interdimensional alpha stud.
I look down at myself. At least the system was generous. I've been upgraded. Not by much, but definitely no longer average. Still, I need clothes. Food. Civilization. And maybe, a damn tutorial that doesn't treat me like a walking hentai plotline.