I stopped flinching at blood.
I used to think that was a sign of toughness—of maturity. Now I know better.
It's a symptom.
When you stop reacting to things that should shake you, it's not strength. It's decay.
And I was decaying fast.
The journal had unlocked something in me—a gate of its own. I was having visions now. No longer just dreams. Hallucinations, Suzuki called them, after I told her I saw a second sun hovering over our school roof.
Jeremy laughed it off. But I saw the fear in his eyes.
They knew I was slipping.
I just didn't care anymore.
Not until the alley.
We were heading home one night—me, Jeremy, and Suzuki. Usual path. Shortcuts through the side streets. Just a walk, nothing serious. Until we heard the scream.
A woman—maybe late twenties—cornered by three men in ski masks. Knives out. Standard city scum.
Jeremy didn't even hesitate. "We're helping," he said.
I hesitated.
Not because I didn't want to help.
But because I didn't feel fear.
I felt curious.
We rushed in. Jeremy tackled the first guy. Suzuki clocked the second with her bag like it was a damn weapon. I handled the third.
But "handled" doesn't do it justice.
I didn't stop.
I don't remember hitting him that many times. I don't remember slamming his head into the wall over and over. But Jeremy was screaming. Pulling me back. My fists were red.
So was the wall.
Suzuki was breathing hard. "What the hell, Cid?!"
I looked at my hands.
They were shaking.
Not from guilt—from adrenaline. From joy. From release.
That's when I realized…
I wasn't just fighting them.
I was fighting everything.
My father's lies. My mother's silence. The Gate. My own mind.
And it was winning.
---
Later That Night
I stood in front of my mirror, shirt off, bruises decorating my skin like medals. I didn't recognize the person staring back.
My head tilted to the side.
Not like a stretch. Like… an animal. Trying to make sense of prey.
A thought slid through my brain like silk:
If Jeremy or Suzuki got in the way… could I kill them?
I laughed.
Then stopped.
Because I couldn't answer.
---
The Next Day
They acted normal. Laughing. Talking. Jeremy even cracked a joke about me going "beast mode." But something in their eyes had changed.
They were watching me now. Like a bomb with a timer they couldn't see.
And I was watching them too.
Studying them. Weighing them. Not out of mistrust…
…out of instinct.
I didn't know it yet, but I was testing them.
Because something was coming. The Gate hadn't just opened—it had chosen.
And when it returned…
Only monsters or martyrs would survive.