"F* your mother!"** Li Gang lay on the ground, smoke curling from his body. He wasn't usually hot-tempered, but he couldn't help swearing inwardly.
He seethed with indignation: I was just walking down the street minding my own business—why the hell did lightning strike me? If someone had to be struck, it should've been that robber who just ran out of the mall and hacked down two pedestrians with a knife!
I'm twenty-three, never had a girlfriend, never even tasted a woman—and now I'm dead? Hell no, I can't accept this!
His heartbeat slowed. The pain receded. In its place came a strange lightness, as if his soul was drifting free, about to float away from his body.
"F* your mother!"** he cursed again in his mind.
The nurse kneeling beside him, administering CPR, shook her head. "No use. His heart's about to stop." She leaned down and asked by his ear, "Any last words?"
Summoning the last ounce of his strength, Li Gang barely managed to move his lips. "I think... I can still... be saved…"
His head lolled to the side, legs twitched, darkness fell.
Dead.
"Li Gang!"
He took a step forward, fists clenched, staring defiantly at the judge seated high on the tribunal.
"You've died before your destined time," said the grim-faced judge, tapping away at a laptop. "You can't reincarnate yet…"
"Then why the hell did you guys strike me with lightning?!" Li Gang roared.
"Uh, Thor was punishing a sinner in the mortal realm today and his bolt went off course. He, uh… had a birthday party last night, drank a little too much. He asked me to apologize on his behalf."
Li Gang was speechless. What kind of bullshit is that? A god gets drunk and kills a good guy by mistake, and all I get is an apology?
"So here's the deal. Because your lifespan hasn't ended, you can't reincarnate into this world, and the Underworld can't take you in either. Your body's wrecked from the lightning, so your soul can't return. We're giving you two choices:One, become a wandering ghost until your natural life span ends.Two, reincarnate into another world and start a new life. Which do you choose?"
Li Gang thought for a moment. "How many years do I have left?"
"You're twenty-three. According to the Book of Life and Death, you were supposed to live to one hundred and fifty. So, congratulations! You've got 127 years left."
"@#$%&..." Li Gang was completely speechless. A hundred and fifty years?! And I die at twenty-three because a god got tipsy? What the hell's there to celebrate?
"I'll take the second option!" he said without hesitation. He had no family, nothing tying him to this world. A new life didn't sound so bad.
"Very well. Thor requested we compensate you properly, so you'll reincarnate into a good family. Duty officer, contact the Underworld Department from a parallel world. Let's get him reborn!"
Year 764, Da Qin Calendar. March 7, at the third quarter of the Hour of the Rat.Xiaoyao Manor, Lingyun Mountain, southern Da Qin Empire.
Lingyun Mountain, located in Yun Province, was the most magnificent and perilous peak in the Da Qin Empire—hailed as the Number One Mountain Under Heaven. Xiaoyao Manor, situated on its slopes, was the premier martial estate in the south. Its master, Qin Xiaoyao—nicknamed the "Heaven-Shrouding Hand"—was the martial leader of the southern alliance across thirteen provinces and the undisputed martial arts champion of the region. The manor housed thousands of talented individuals and three thousand disciples, forming the backbone of righteous martial power in the south.
Qin Xiaoyao's wife, Tie Ling'er, was no less formidable. She hailed from the north, where she led the righteous alliance of sixteen provinces as the Mistress of Iron-Blood Howling Sky Fortress. Younger sister to the famed "Iron Palm" Tie Kongshan, she had once been known as the most beautiful woman in the martial world. Countless young heroes had vied for her, but in the end, it was Qin Xiaoyao—with his strength, character, and lineage—who won her heart.
They had two sons already—Qin Feng, age five, and Qin Lei, age three. Tonight, Tie Ling'er was again in labor.
Qin Xiaoyao paced anxiously outside her room, hands behind his back. He would pause now and then, ears straining for any sound. Each of his wife's moans pierced his heart with tension.
Suddenly, a loud and healthy cry rang out, cutting through the silence of the night.
"Congratulations, Master Qin! It's a son!" the midwife said cheerfully, bowing as she exited the room.
Qin Xiaoyao was overjoyed. Even though he already had two sons, in a martial family, the more sons the better.
He stepped inside, carefully picking up the wailing newborn and brought him to the bedside. "You've worked hard, my love," he said gently.
Tie Ling'er's pale but lovely face lit up with a tired smile. "What shall we name him?" she asked.
Qin Xiaoyao thought for a moment. "A benevolent man is invincible. Let's call him Ren—仁."
Tie Ling'er smirked. "Qin Ren—sounds like 'lover.' You really came up with that, huh?"
Qin Xiaoyao laughed heartily. "My dear, I was the most handsome hero in the south, and you the greatest beauty of the north. Our son's bound to grow into a heartthrob for all the young ladies in the martial world!"
Tie Ling'er rolled her eyes but blushed. "You're too old to be talking nonsense like that. What if someone hears you? It'll ruin your reputation as the righteous alliance leader."
Qin Xiaoyao only grinned and showered kisses on the still-crying baby.
The baby kicked and flailed, his cries loud and oddly rhythmic. If someone could understand baby talk, they might have heard him yelling:
"Stop kissing me! Your spit's all over me—disgusting!"
No doubt about it—this was Li Gang, reborn.
Now, he was Qin Ren.
From the start, this baby was no ordinary child.
In traditional custom, when a baby turns one, a ceremony is held. A table is laid with items like swords, books, and other symbols. The child is placed on the table to choose, supposedly revealing their future destiny. This is called the "Zhua Zhou."
Little Qin Ren was no exception. In front of a room full of guests, he gleefully crawled to a wooden fish, grabbed it with both chubby hands, and hugged it.
The room fell silent.
Qin Xiaoyao and Tie Ling'er exchanged worried glances, both seeing dread in the other's eyes.
"Is this kid planning to become a monk?" thought Qin Xiaoyao.
"And we even named him Ren, hoping he'd be a righteous hero. Looks like he's already transcended worldly desires..." thought Tie Ling'er.
But then, Qin Ren patted the wooden fish a few times, gnawed on it, tossed it aside, and let out a few coos. Then, suddenly, he dove into the bosom of a stunning female guest and started rubbing his face into her ample chest.
The woman giggled, "Third Young Master wants to nurse, but Auntie's got no milk. Go to Mommy for that!"
The hall erupted in laughter. Qin Xiaoyao breathed a sigh of relief. So he was just hungry. Probably mistook the wooden fish for a boob…
Tie Ling'er picked up the baby and carried him to the inner room, coaxing gently, "Good boy, Mama will feed you now."
"Babies really are nearsighted," Qin Ren grumbled inwardly while nursing. "Mistaking a wooden fish for a boob—what a disgrace! But come on, couldn't you guys have waited a second? I only got to cop a feel for two seconds before you pulled me away. So frustrating!"