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JOJO: My Stand-In is Steve

PureParadox
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The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 7 chs / week.
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Synopsis
"Child, do you know what this is?" Thanos raised a golden gauntlet, the six Infinity Stones glittering with radiant light. "With a single snap of my fingers, you’ll be reduced to dust in the wind." "I don't buy it." Mo, clad in the Endless Armor set, slowly shook his head. The Cosmos Greatsword in his hand pointed straight at Thanos’s shiny purple dome. "Today, forget the Infinity Stones—even the Heart of the Universe can’t save your sorry life!" "You know what this is? This is the Truth-Seeking Orb!" Uchiha Madara hovered in midair, laughing maniacally. "It’s the ultimate spear and the ultimate shield. There’s nothing it can’t destroy!" "You clearly haven’t seen anything really hard..." Mo grinned wickedly as he pulled out a block of bedrock. "Wanna try your luck against this?" "So this... is the Philosopher's Stone?" Edward stared blankly at the crimson crystal in front of him. "It can ignore the law of equivalent exchange?" "Well, in a way, you could say it’s more like the foundation of equivalent exchange." Mo tapped the portable transmutation table in his hand. "But hey, if you want one, I could consider giving you a set." ... When the Fourth Calamity meets the Mysterious Island mod, this blocky man finally begins to wreak havoc across the multiverse. ________________________________________________ If you want to read chapters ahead and support me further, then check out my Patreon at: pateron.com/PureParadox
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Chapter 1 - Prologue

Earth, Jiangcheng.

Fang Mo was gently holding his little sister's hand as they strolled down the street.

It was midday in the height of summer. The blazing sun poured down dazzling, blinding light, and even the air shimmered and warped under the oppressive heat. Fang Mo quietly endured the scorching waves rolling over him, already drenched in sweat without even realizing when it had started.

Even the stray dogs on the street looked like they'd been baked under the sun, their fur singed and spirits wilted.

But unlike the irritable adults around them, little Fang Xin remained utterly unbothered by the heat. In fact, she was happily humming a tune.

"Ah, to be young..." Fang Mo yawned lazily, watching his sister hop and skip with a smile. "Guess I'm getting old... Can't even pull an all-nighter till 10 AM anymore."

For someone like Fang Mo — an old-school "anime-addicted nerd" — staying up all night binging shows or gaming was basically a way of life.

Sadly, after years of grinding it out in the workforce, his body just couldn't keep up with the pace of his youth anymore. Watching Fang Xin bouncing with the carefree energy of summer vacation, Fang Mo couldn't help but reminisce. Once upon a time, he too could mine for four days and three nights straight without sleeping.

Now, under the endless grind demanded by corporate overlords, the stamina he honed gaming all night long was spent entirely on overtime work.

Maybe that's why he clung so fiercely to games during his downtime — like a man trying to catch fleeting freedom. As a result, his heavy dark circles hadn't faded for three years straight, earning him the affectionate nickname "Panda Keeper" among his coworkers.

---

"You love me, I love you, Mixue Ice Cream, sweet and true~♪"

While he was lost in thought, an irritatingly catchy jingle from an ice cream shop drifted over from across the street.

"Gege, I want ice cream!" Fang Xin, still just a child, immediately looked up at him, her big dark eyes sparkling as she pulled her cutest, most pitiful face. "Can you give me two yuan, please?"

"You little glutton." Fang Mo chuckled dotingly. Taking her tiny hand again, he said, "Come on, Gege will treat you to a sundae."

"Yay!" Fang Xin cheered, punching the air with her little fists.

Still chatting and laughing, they began crossing the street toward the ice cream shop.

---

But just then, the sharp blare of a horn cut through the air.

Fang Mo turned his head — and saw a massive dump truck barreling through the red light at the intersection, not even slowing down, headed straight for them.

Fang Xin froze in fear.

A jolt of terror slammed into Fang Mo. Instinctively, he tried to pull Fang Xin out of the way — but years of late-night overwork had left their mark. A sudden, brutal pain twisted through his chest, freezing him in place.

"I... damn it..."

The truck was closing in fast. Gritting his teeth, Fang Mo summoned the last shred of his strength and shoved Fang Xin out of harm's way.

A screech of brakes. Blood splattered across the street.

---

Fang Mo collapsed onto the asphalt. His head buzzed, his lower body completely numb. He could vaguely feel something warm and sticky leaking from his gut.

"GEGE!!!" Fang Xin's piercing wail shattered the air.

Through the haze, Fang Mo forced his eyes open. The first thing he saw was Fang Xin's tear-streaked face. Then, not far away, he saw a hideous mass of blood, shredded denim, and bone fragments — what used to be his legs.

"So... this is it?"

Strangely, he didn't feel the terror he expected. Maybe it was because, in a way, dying young meant escaping decades of grinding away for a living. His coworkers would probably envy him, not pity him.

Still... dying in such a mangled way — how would his parents even collect his remains? Would it be like those car crash compilations online where they start with "five dogs" and end with "scooping it up with a shovel"?

---

[Confirmation complete: body successfully digitized.]

Huh?

Fang Mo blinked, confused. Had he just heard something? It was hard to tell — Fang Xin's sobbing drowned out everything. Probably just some passerby murmuring, he figured.

Anyway, given the state of his body, he probably already looked like one of those grotesque memes people make. Maybe he'd even star in some tragic accident compilation.

"Xin Xin, stop crying..."

Summoning his last reserves of strength, Fang Mo gently patted Fang Xin clinging onto him. Even a child's weight was agony now — after being practically sliced in half, the numbness was giving way to unbearable pain.

---

[Confirmation complete: pain suppression activated.]

"I won't cry, Gege, I won't..." Fang Xin sobbed harder even as she frantically wiped at her tears.

"Listen carefully," Fang Mo said, feeling the pain abruptly vanish — probably a last burst of consciousness before death. "Soon, the police will contact Mom and Dad. Don't be scared. I need you to tell them exactly what I'm about to say. Tell them it's my dying wish, and they must do it."

"Ge... Gege, don't die!" Fang Xin wailed louder.

"You silly girl..." Fang Mo forced a grin. "Dying in my twenties means dodging decades of getting squeezed dry like a chive. You should be happy for me."

---

Getting serious, Fang Mo went on: "After I die, get rid of everything I used — the bed, the desk, the chair — burn it or sell it. Don't leave it around to make people sad."

[Confirmation complete: more furniture modules unlocked.]

"What the hell is that voice again?" Fang Mo muttered, glancing around. His vision was narrowing fast; he couldn't even see clearly anymore. Forget it — he continued urgently:

"Also, no one's allowed to touch my computer. After you cremate me, stuff my ashes into my PC case and bury it. Otherwise, I'll be stuck in the afterlife without even a game to play."

[Confirmation complete: gravestone module unlocked.]

Fang Xin could only nod through her sobs, unable to speak.

---

"Oh, and my phone..."

At the edge of death, Fang Mo suddenly remembered — his browsing history! Where he found the strength, he didn't know, but he began crawling toward his fallen phone.

He only managed a few inches before collapsing again, powerless.

[Confirmation complete: flexible movement module unlocked.]

"Gege!" Fang Xin cried, picking up the phone and handing it to him.

Forcing a smile, Fang Mo swiftly wiped his browsing history, then opened QQ and sent a final message to a certain someone: "Sorry, I won't be able to grind games with you anymore."

Once done, it was as if the last of his energy had drained away. He slumped down, whispering: "Finally... all done. Now I can rest easy. But if getting hit by a dump truck counts... does that mean I'm gonna reincarnate into another world?"

[Confirmation complete: mysterious island module unlocked.]

"What the hell is up with that damn voice? It's so freaking noisy..." 

---

Fang Mo's pupils were losing focus. His thoughts blurred. A nameless darkness swallowed his mind.

Only now did he truly feel the fear of death.

---

So this is dying...

I guess... I really don't want to die after all...

[Confirmation complete: game mode set to Survival Mode. On death, all items and experience will be lost, but infinite respawns are possible.]

I still have so many foods I haven't tried...

[Confirmation complete: Pam's HarvestCraft module unlocked.]

So many sights I haven't seen...*

[Confirmation complete: more biome modules unlocked.]

"Xin Xin... sorry Gege can't stay with you anymore. If Mom and Dad don't show up, use the 'Shameless Map' app to find your way home..."

[Confirmation complete: minimap module unlocked.]

---

"It's all those damned corporate overlords' fault... If they hadn't worked me to the bone, maybe I could've dodged that truck. It's their overtime that triggered my heart attack... Damn vampires... Hanging them from streetlights would still be letting them off too easy. If I ever get the chance, I swear I'll stab every last one of those bloodsuckers myself..."

[Confirmation complete: endless greed module unlocked.]

---

Fang Mo lay sprawled on the ground. The light in his eyes faded. Fang Xin's cries grew distant.

He had even planned to joke with her — "Don't stop now!" — but before he could get the words out, his consciousness completely dissolved.

Only darkness remained, swallowing everything he once was.

______________________________________________

[Fang Mo(MC) => Mo]

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