The room was still ringing from the echo of God's silent approval.
Lucifer sat back in his throne of fire and bone, looking smug as Hell—literally. His flaming eyes danced with delight like a kid who just set a cathedral on fire and got away with it. Kikidori, on the other hand, stood there stunned, his face twisted in horror.
"WHAT. THE. FUCK. DAD!!!" he roared, turning to Lucifer with fire practically leaking from his mouth.
Lucifer simply sipped wine from a chalice made of angel skulls and grinned. "Language, son."
"NO. You don't get to 'language' me, old man!" Kikidori shouted, throwing his hands in the air. "You just *volunteered* me to fight in a divine interdimensional celestial pissing contest without even ASKING!"
Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "You always said you were bored."
"I meant I wanted to go to a demon strip club or burn a building, not fight a holy champion handpicked by Jehovah himself!"
On the other side of the room, Haruna was trying very hard not to laugh.
God remained silent. Of course.
The other gods were either watching with bored amusement or arguing over the terms of the challenge. Odin was already scribbling something onto his runic scroll. Hades just sighed and drank more soul-wine.
Then—
**CLIP-CLOP. CLIP-CLOP.**
The doors creaked open, and in fluttered the **Cupid Delegation**.
Pink robes. Shiny hearts. Fluffy hair. Wings like marshmallows. Faces that looked like Valentine's Day cards had a baby with a baby.
The whole chamber went **silent**.
Even the demons stopped mid-grunt.
There were *dozens* of them—Cupids of different ages, genders, and absurd hairstyles, each carrying heart-shaped bows and beaming with radiant smiles that could rot teeth.
Kikidori blinked slowly. His eyes scanned the room of demonic warlords, stoic reapers, ancient gods of death and fire…
…and then these *Hallmark rejects* stroll in like they own the place.
"The fuck is this?" he whispered.
One of the Cupids waved enthusiastically. "Sorry we're late! We got distracted watching a romantic picnic in Spain!"
Another giggled. "They kissed in the rain!"
"Gods above," Hel muttered.
Kikidori groaned and pointed. "Since when were *y'all cinnamon roll looking asses* considered gods?!"
Every Cupid froze.
The smile faded from the leader's face—a short, slightly chubby boy with golden curls and eyes that suddenly weren't so friendly.
The air tensed.
The Cupid slowly lifted his heart-bow, drew a glittering arrow glowing pink with *pure affection*.
"*Insult the sacred art of love one more time, demon spawn,*" the Cupid said coldly, "and I'll make you fall for a squirrel in heat."
Kikidori blinked. "Try me, arrow bitch."
**TWANG.**
"*VROOOOO—*"
The arrow *zipped* through the air like a bolt of concentrated hormones and smacked Kikidori square in the chest.
He stumbled back a step.
Everyone gasped.
Haruna's mouth dropped open.
Even Lucifer sat up, slightly alarmed.
The Cupid crossed his arms triumphantly.
"Let's see you talk shit now."
Kikidori stood completely still.
Then...
He blinked again. Looked around the room.
Then turned to Haruna, walked over very slowly… stared at her…
"…You ever wonder what clouds taste like?" he asked in a dreamy voice.
Haruna raised a brow. "Oh no."
"I think your hair smells like forgiveness."
"Oh *God*, it's working."
"I want to write a poem about your elbows."
"**Oh my GOD.**"
Lucifer facepalmed.
The Cupid grinned. "Boom. Hit confirmed."
Haruna groaned and grabbed the arrow sticking out of Kikidori's chest, yanked it free with a pop, and slapped him across the face.
**WHAP.**
Kikidori snapped out of it instantly.
"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?! WHY DO I WANT TO HUG SOMEONE?!"
"You were love-darted by a cherub on caffeine!" Haruna said, throwing the arrow at the Cupid. "You happy now?!"
The Cupid caught the arrow mid-air and blew her a kiss. "Always."
Kikidori growled. "If I ever see you again, I'm punting you into a volcano."
"You'll fall in love with the volcano," the Cupid said smugly.
"Get OUT," God said, His voice booming across the room.
The Cupids squealed, giggled, and fluttered out like a flock of pastel geese.
Once the doors shut behind them, a long silence followed.
Then Kikidori muttered, "…I'm gonna need therapy."
Lucifer smiled. "Good thing we have a licensed torturer in Hell."
Haruna pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Can this day get *any* worse?"
The gods all nodded toward the glowing stone slab that now displayed the challenge terms in divine script.
Kikidori read it and groaned louder than ever.
"Fuck me. It's a *three-part* trial?!"
The end of chapter 18.