Travis knew something was wrong the moment he saw the paint.
Specifically: "Spiritual Sage Mist" had been replaced with a neon green shade called "Lime Scream: Pre-Workout Edition."
Carlton gagged. "It smells like Mountain Dew and betrayal."
Buttermilk, examining her ruined meditation alcove, calmly took out her notebook labeled "Enemies List" and added:
• Brick Beefcake
• Whoever invented glitter grout
• The concept of CrossFit
They had one day left before the final reveal. And someone — someone with beefy paws and poor taste — was sabotaging everything.
Travis clenched his jaw. "We need answers. We need surveillance. We need… disguises."
---
Operation: Ruff Recon
Carlton arrived the next morning dressed as a catering assistant: all black outfit, fake mustache, name tag reading "Kevin."
He carried a tray of "free-range bone broth shooters" and a GoPro hidden inside a baguette.
Meanwhile, Travis posed as a mindfulness consultant named Leaf. His disguise involved linen pants, round glasses, and saying things like "This rug doesn't vibe with Saturn's current orbit."
Buttermilk wore a scarf, sunglasses, and fake eyelashes thicker than a broom. No one recognized her.
Together, they roamed the set like nosy ghosts.
---
The Clues Begin
Clue #1: A pile of blueprints — all Buttermilk's original designs — in the trash behind Brick's trailer. Covered in protein shake splatter.
Clue #2: An overheard conversation.
> Brick: "She'll never win with a dumb Zen rock garden. People want results! Kibble gains, baby!"
> Mysterious Voice: "Just make sure the doghouse explodes with energy. And glitter. Especially glitter."
Travis whispered, "I know that voice. That's Duffy. Brick's manager-slash-life-coach-slash-supplement dealer."
Carlton narrowed his eyes. "He's the one who launched that 'Alpha Kibble Xtreme' line with the slogan 'Eat Meat. Lift Tree.'"
---
They stormed into Brick's side of the warehouse.
"Care to explain this?" Travis threw down a yoga mat that now read "Namaste? Nah, I Bench Press."
Brick blinked. "That's branding."
Carlton: "And this?" He held up the GoPro-baguette, now playing a loop of Brick cackling while spray-painting over a watercolor dog portrait.
Brick scratched his head. "Okay, okay. Maybe I tweaked a few things."
Buttermilk narrowed her eyes and dramatically booped his nose. It echoed. A single glitter fleck fell to the floor like judgment.
---
Before they could report him, Sheila the golden retriever producer burst in.
"BREAKING NEWS: Ratings are skyrocketing because of the sabotage drama. We're turning this into a two-part finale. Bigger builds. Live audience. Also… dogs wearing hard hats."
She pointed at Buttermilk. "You're the fan favorite."
Then she pointed at Brick. "You're the villain. Everyone hates you. We're leaning in. Here's a leather vest and a growl soundtrack."
Brick beamed. "I love this for me."
---
That Night
Travis collapsed on the couch. "We caught him. But now they're rewarding him."
Carlton sighed. "Reality TV is chaos in a leash."
Buttermilk, sipping goat milk foam through a twisty straw, pulled out a new blueprint.
Label: "Finale Plan – Operation Barkitect"
It featured:
Fireproof glitter
Secret door panels
A koi pond shaped like a paw
And a button labeled "Emotional Vengeance Confetti."
She wagged once.
Carlton blinked. "She's not just building a doghouse. She's building a legacy."
---