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Chapter 33 - SMALL TROUBLES, BIG LAUGHS:THE GHANA FILES

Chapter 1: The Tro-Tro Argument That Turned Into a Prayer Meeting

If you've never nearly fainted inside a tro-tro because of heat, insults, and unexpected church service, then my brother, you haven't truly lived in Accra.

That Thursday afternoon, the sun decided it was doing body-building. The way it was beating my forehead, I knew I was on my own.

Sweat was running down my back like somebody had opened a tap behind me.

I managed to squeeze myself into a tro-tro that was clearly older than me.

The seats were crying, the windows refused to roll down, and the mate's slippers looked like they had survived World War I and II combined.

Inside the tro-tro, it was a full zoo:

A woman was carrying a goat like it was her second child. Two babies were crying in stereo. A man behind me was breathing on my neck like a dragon.

If you moved an inch, you would smell five different body odors at once.

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, the mate shouted:

"Last four cedis! Last four cedis!"

Before I could even bring out my money, a big woman from the back roared:

"Massa, reduce the fare! The road sef no be tarred!"

Without even blinking, the mate replied:

"If e no tarred, you go swim come?"

The whole tro-tro scattered.

One man said he would report the mate to the United Nations.

Another woman said she had dreams about this tro-tro crashing — and if we didn't pray now, we were finished.

Before I could understand what was going on, one aunty pulled out a bottle of anointing oil from her bag as if she was drawing a sword.

She started shouting:

"Holy Ghost fire! Holy Ghost fire! Cover this tro-tro! Bind every spirit of accident!"

I blinked twice and suddenly — prayer meeting!

Some people were clapping. Some were shaking.

One man was prophesying that the driver was "possessed with the demon of overspeeding."

At this point, I just bowed my head small and whispered my own personal prayers.

Because whether you believed or not, that day, everybody became born again.

By the time we reached Circle, I didn't even argue about my change.

I just jumped down, kissed the ground inside my mind, and said:

"Accra is a full-time survival game. If you're still standing, you deserve an award."

I wiped my sweat, adjusted my shirt, and told myself —

"Next time, Samuel, walk. Or better yet, stay home."

End of Chapter 1

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