Chapter 26: The Surprise Party That Surprised Me Instead
After my fitness collapse, I decided:
"Kelvin, maybe you're not meant to perform. Maybe you're meant to plan."
So I got a bright idea:
Organize a surprise birthday party for my best friend, Malik.
Plan:
Invite all his friends. Decorate the hall. Jump out and scream "SURPRISE!" Instant legend.
Simple, right?
I booked a small party hall.
Sent out secret invites.
Bought balloons, cake, and a "Happy Birthday, Malik!" banner.
On the big day, everyone arrived early.
We turned off the lights.
Hid behind chairs and tables, giggling like schoolchildren.
I called Malik on the phone:
"Bro, meet me at this address. Urgent matter!"
He agreed.
It was all coming together perfectly.
5 minutes later —
The door creaked open.
We heard footsteps.
On cue, we all jumped out and screamed:
"SURPRIIIIISEEEEE!!!"
Lights on.
Confetti flying.
Balloons popping.
There was just one problem:
It wasn't Malik.
It was a random delivery man holding a bag of jollof rice.
He stood frozen like a goat seeing oncoming traffic.
Everyone stared.
He stared.
I stared.
He dropped the jollof, screamed "AYE!", and sprinted out of the hall like Usain Bolt.
Meanwhile, Malik — the real Malik — was stuck in traffic two towns away.
The "surprise" party became a confusion festival.
In the end, we just sat around and ate the jollof meant for 50 guests...
...with no birthday boy in sight.
At least the jollof slapped.