Inside the warm cocoon of sleep, Tang Yan — formerly known in his past life as Shiv — floated peacefully.
Or at least he had been floating peacefully.
Until…
Until a very familiar, very mischievous voice stirred beside his consciousness.
> [ Host, emergency alert! Incoming planetary-scale embarrassment detected! ]
Tang Yan mentally jolted awake.
What the hell now?!
---
As he peeked through his semi-dreaming senses, he saw it.
His newly reborn parents — Tang Hao and Ah Yin — were tenderly naming his brother:
"His name will be Tang San," Tang Hao declared warmly.
Tang Yan smiled internally.
Nice. Short. Dignified. Respectable.
The System clapped politely.
> [ Good name. Very low risk of childhood bullying. 9/10. Would approve. ]
Tang Yan nodded mentally.
Maybe this life won't be so bad.
And then...
Chaos descended.
---
The beasts stepped forward, one by one —
like contestants in a horrifying reality show — and began suggesting names for him.
Scarlet King proudly roared:
"Crimson Thunder Sovereign!"
System:
> [ Ah yes. Imagine a five-year-old introducing himself as Crimson Thunder Sovereign at kindergarten. "Hi, my name's Thunder-Senpai!" ]
Tang Yan twitched internally.
---
Infernal Ice Qilin snorted:
"Icebane Tyrant!"
System:
> [ Oh, fabulous. Nothing says 'approachable future boyfriend' like 'Icebane Tyrant.' ]
Tang Yan facepalmed mentally.
---
Dark Devilgod Tiger bared his fangs:
"Bloodstorm Doomslayer!"
Tang Yan: Please no.
System:
> [ Bloodstorm Doomslayer, age 3 months: cries when hungry, pees self twice a night. Fear the might! ]
Tang Yan felt like rolling over and dying again.
---
Bi Ji fluttered sweetly:
"Little Healing Leaf!"
System gasped dramatically:
> [ NO. Host, imagine being called "Healing Leaf" and trying to pick up girls. They'll think you're an emotional support plant. ]
Tang Yan felt his soul shrivel.
---
More names flew like arrows.
Sky Lightning Tiger suggested "Lightning Roar Majesty!"
Infernal Ice Qilin doubled down with "Frozen Overlord!"
System was howling by this point:
> [ What's next, Host? "Emperor Sandwich of Eternal Despair"? ]
Tang Yan seriously considered requesting reincarnation again.
---
Just when the beasts seemed ready to start a fistfight over naming rights...
A soft ripple of silver light flowed through the grove.
All beasts fell silent.
Gu Yuena — the Silver Dragon Goddess herself — stepped forward, elegant beyond words.
She gazed down at him, her silver eyes filled with infinite tenderness.
She smiled faintly.
And she said:
"His name shall be Tang Yan."
---
Tang Yan froze.
The System froze.
Then…
> [ Host, congratulations! You have officially been spared the fate of "Crimson Thunder Doomslayer the Third!" ]
Tang Yan exhaled mentally in pure relief.
Tang Yan.
Flame of the Tang Family.
Bright, powerful, destined for greatness.
He could live with that.
---
Just when he thought it was over...
A gentle chill brushed through the clearing.
Snow Emperor arrived, her regal figure clothed in icy mist.
Her golden-blue eyes scanned everyone.
"I sensed the thunder tribulation... why was I not summoned?" she asked calmly.
Tang Yan watched as the mighty beasts — Di Tian, Scarlet King, Ice Qilin — shuffled awkwardly like scolded schoolchildren.
System snickered:
> [ Host... behold! Grown ancient beasts defeated by a single guilt trip. Historic moment. ]
Tang Yan grinned internally.
---
Di Tian and Tang Hao narrated everything about the past ten months —
from hiding, struggling, pregnancy, Spirit Hall's attack, to the terrifying heavenly tribulations.
Tang Yan listened, his little heart swelling.
So much sacrifice... for me and Tang San.
The System stayed silent for once, letting him feel the weight of their words.
---
❄️ The Strange Music Incident
After the storytelling ended, Snow Emperor tilted her head slightly:
"Also... what was that strange music?" she asked innocently.
Tang Yan immediately froze.
The System froze.
The beasts froze.
Scarlet King coughed blood spiritually.
Infernal Ice Qilin pretended to faint.
Bi Ji hid behind Di Tian.
Even Di Tian muttered grimly:
"...We don't want to know."
System burst out laughing:
> [ Host, you're already a legend. They fear your BGM more than they fear Spirit Hall. ]
Tang Yan wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it.
Snow Emperor frowned, confused.
"I heard it even from the Far North," she said seriously.
"But the Demonic Ocean Whale said he heard nothing."
Tang Yan sweated internally.
The System helpfully added:
> [ Host, you are officially classified as a mobile, intercontinental music weapon. ]
---
✨ The Whisper
Gu Yuena said nothing.
Instead, she approached Ah Yin and gently lifted Tang Yan into her arms.
She cradled him lovingly, her silver hair cascading around them like a protective cocoon.
She brought her lips close to his tiny ear.
And in a whisper only he could hear, she said:
"Have you played enough?"
---
Tang Yan froze.
The System erupted into a standing ovation:
> [ BUSTED. Host's Mischief Confirmed. 10/10 Comedy Moment. Recorded for Eternal Blackmail Use. ]
Tang Yan screamed internally.
Why is my life like this?!
---
But Gu Yuena's gaze was only full of warmth —
an infinite, knowing love.
She rocked him gently, smiling at his bright spirit.
---
✨ A New Era
Later, as the sun slanted over the grove, Gu Yuena gathered everyone together.
Her voice was strong and confident:
"Thanks to the Life Gold... and the miraculous births... I have fully healed."
The beasts bowed deeply, relief and reverence flashing in their eyes.
Gu Yuena continued:
"Because of this miracle, the spirit beast race will flourish once again."
She pointed to the surrounding forest.
"Soul power thickens.
Births rise.
Some beasts ascend to soul beasts faster than ever before."
Her silver eyes gleamed:
"This era... shall birth countless future legends."
---
Tang Yan floated in the warm embrace of Ah Yin again, listening silently.
A small smile curved his tiny lips.
The future...
would indeed be bright.
---
🌑 To be continued...