All Kaze wanted was breakfast.
What he got was a mob of villagers, three marriage proposals, a prophecy, and a goat wearing a tiny crown.
Somehow, this was still better than accounting.
The sun was just beginning to climb in the sky, casting a warm golden hue over the village. Kaze, who had spent the night unsuccessfully trying to sleep in a pile of hay, was now attempting to sneak away for a moment of peace... and breakfast. Just a simple meal to clear his head and figure out how the hell he was supposed to get out of this mess.
As he walked past the bakery, the old woman behind the counter thrust a loaf of bread into his hands with a wide grin. "Here you go, Lord Arashi! May your divine blessings fill our bellies!"
Kaze blinked at her. "Wait, what? I didn't—"
Before he could finish, the bakery door burst open, and a man in a tunic ran up to him, holding a small wooden box. "Lord Arashi!" he cried out. "My daughter, she's sick—will you grant her health with your blessing?"
"No! I mean, I can't—" Kaze stammered, but the man was already kneeling before him, clutching the box as if it contained the very essence of life itself. Kaze tried to backpedal, but that was when he heard it.
A soft, high-pitched bleat.
A small goat, covered in what appeared to be glitter and... was that a crown made of twigs? Yes. It was a tiny, regal goat, trotting toward him like it owned the place. The crowd gasped in awe as it stopped at Kaze's feet and bowed, as if paying homage.
Kaze stared at the goat, then the crowd, and then back at the goat. "What in the world is going on here?"
The townsfolk dropped to their knees, chanting in unison. "The Goat of Destiny! The sacred animal has come to us!"
"No, no, no," Kaze muttered, his head spinning. "I didn't do anything. I didn't—"
The baker interrupted him, her voice trembling. "Lord Arashi, you must bless the goat. Its sneeze will determine the fate of our harvest!"
The goat's tiny crown gleamed in the sunlight, as if mocking Kaze's entire existence. He tried to suppress the laugh bubbling up inside him. "I'm not—what kind of nonsense is this? A blessed goat?"
The crowd, however, was undeterred.
The elderly woman from earlier grabbed his sleeve. "Please, Lord Arashi, the prophecy foretold your arrival! The goat's sneeze... it's sacred! Bless it and save our village!"
Kaze sighed and rubbed his temples. "I—no. I didn't sign up for this. I just wanted some bread."
The goat, who up until now had been eerily silent, let out a loud, exaggerated sneeze.
The crowd erupted into joyous shouts.
"It's begun!" the old man from the bakery cried out. "The harvest will be bountiful!"
Kaze blinked. "Wait, that was—?"
Before he could finish, another loud sneeze echoed from the goat, and this time, the ground shook slightly. The sky above darkened, and distant thunder rumbled.
"Wait. What was that?" Kaze looked up, eyes wide.
Behind him, the villagers gasped.
A tall figure appeared on the horizon, striding toward them with a regal air. A priestess in flowing robes, her face covered by a veil, approached, her eyes fixed firmly on Kaze.
"You've done it now," she said, voice cold. "You've defiled the sacred goat, Lord Arashi. And now you will pay the price."
Kaze's heart sank. "What? I didn't—"
And that was when the ground cracked open with a deep, echoing *boom*.
---
The ground split with a low, ominous rumble. Dust rose into the air. Somewhere nearby, a chicken exploded from sheer panic.
Kaze stumbled backward, flailing. "What the hell?! I didn't *do* anything! It was just a goat! A sneezy goat!"
The priestess raised her hand, and glowing glyphs spiraled into the air around her. "You mocked the sacred beast. The prophecy warned us: *He who disrespects the Blessed Goat shall invite the wrath of the Skyhorned Order.*"
"Sky-what-now?" Kaze shouted, ducking behind the nearest cart of turnips, which immediately caught fire. "I *literally* denied a goat! That's not a crime!"
"Oh, it is," she said solemnly. "In this kingdom, it's *blasphemy.*"
The villagers began scattering like pigeons, crying out things like "The prophecy is real!" and "Save the goat!" and "He's going to duel a priestess!"
The goat just sneezed again.
This time, lightning struck a scarecrow in the field. It burst into flames and somehow formed the shape of a sword midair before vanishing into ash.
Kaze poked his head out from behind a smoldering cabbage barrel. "Okay, what the actual—did I get summoned into a fantasy world or a fever dream written by a drunk farmer?!"
The priestess pointed at him. "You, Prince Arashi, must atone. Duel me—divine to divine. If you are who the heavens claim you are... prove it."
"No thank you!" he yelled, turning around to flee.
But the goat stepped in front of him.
Blocking his path.
Staring at him with beady, all-knowing eyes.
"You... little bastard," Kaze muttered.
The goat sneezed one last time.
A massive bell tolled from somewhere deep within the mountains.
The priestess gasped. "The Grand Toll! It is time. The duel must begin!"
Kaze looked up at the sky, raising his arms to the heavens. "I take it back! I respect the goat! I worship the goat! All hail the glorious goat king! Are you happy now?!"
The clouds parted.
A single ray of sunlight bathed the goat in divine glow.
The villagers returned, weeping. "The goat has accepted his apology! The war is postponed!"
Kaze dropped to his knees, exhausted. "Oh, thank you. Blessed goat, may your sneezes be ever merciful."
The goat bleated.
A tomato hit Kaze in the face.
The baker shook her fist. "Next time, *don't insult royalty!*"
---
The goat, now practically glowing with celestial smugness, gave a satisfied snort and trotted off into the distance as if it had personally ended a centuries-old war. The villagers began to disperse, murmuring about omens and divine forgiveness, some even bowing as the goat passed. The priestess wiped sweat from her brow, looking faintly embarrassed.
"My apologies, Prince Arashi," she said with a stiff bow. "Your divine reaction was... more potent than anticipated."
Kaze stood there, arms limp at his sides, face still dripping tomato juice. "Yeah. Happens a lot."
The priestess turned to leave but paused. "You should visit the capital. The Grand Seers will want to divine your destiny in person. After today... well, the realm may already be speaking your name."
"Yay. Can't wait," Kaze muttered, waving weakly as she vanished into the crowd.
The square finally emptied, leaving him alone beside the burnt scarecrow, the exploded chicken remains, and a suspiciously perfect rainbow overhead. He slumped onto a nearby bench, dazed.
"So to recap: I denied a goat, triggered a religious panic, nearly got smited, and was forgiven because I apologized with feeling." He looked at the sky. "I miss Excel spreadsheets."
---
**Later That Evening…**
Kaze sat in the small room the villagers had given him—modest, but cozy. A little bed, a flickering lantern, and a wooden desk covered in fruit offerings "to appease his spirit." There was even a handmade sign on the door that read *"DO NOT DISTURB. CHOSEN ONE PROBABLY ASCENDING."*
He sighed and opened the worn notebook someone had left behind.
"Okay. New world. New name. New face. New goat-based religion. Time to sort out what I actually *have.*"
He concentrated, whispering the words he'd seen in novels and anime: "Status."
A glowing panel blinked into existence in front of him.
---
**STATUS WINDOW
Name: Prince Arashi (??? – Fake)
Real Name: Katekuna Yuki
Race: Human
Level: 1
Title: "Dimensional Accident"
Blessing: [???] Blessing visibility restricted
Hidden Abilities:
Extreme Luck (Passive)
Lie of Legends (Passive): Any lie spoken becomes true if the listener believes it.
---
Kaze stared. "So I do have powers. Just... incredibly suspicious ones."
He hovered his hand over the blessing line. It shimmered, but stayed locked.
"I can't even see my own blessing?" he said, brow twitching. "Wait... that means if someone else tries to see it…"
He quickly imagined someone trying to check his status—and getting nothing but static.
"They'll think I'm... super strong!" His eyes widened. "Like, 'so powerful his blessing must be sealed' strong!"
Then he broke into a grin.
"…I love this world."
---
Knock knock.
He jumped, slamming the status window shut.
"Who is it?"
A soft voice answered from the other side. "Um, honored Prince Arashi? T-the village chief would like to invite you to a feast... to celebrate your holy duel and miraculous peace with the goat."
Kaze blinked. "You're serious?"
"We roasted a hundred yams in your honor! And someone composed a folk song already!"
His eye twitched.
A beat of silence. Then:
"…Alright. Let's roll."