I was just an ordinary nerd. Every day it was the same routine—go to work, come home. Rinse and repeat. Any free time I did have was spent playing video games, reading, or watching anime and movies. Not the most exciting life, sure, but it was mine.
And then, one day, I kicked the bucket in one of the most ridiculous ways imaginable.
See, my roommate had two great loves in life: cats and pyrotechnics. And as it turns out, those two things really don't mix. For some ungodly reason, he left an open canister of gunpowder on top of the microwave. I didn't notice, started cooking, turned my back for a second, and that's when it happened. His cat, curious little gremlin that it was, knocked the canister onto the burner.
Boom.
The resulting explosion blasted me across the room, but surprisingly, that's not what killed me. Nope. I survived that.
What actually did me in was during the ambulance ride. Or rather, before it. Somehow, the gurney got away from the paramedics and rolled right into traffic—where I was promptly flattened by an 18-wheeler.
Now, I'm not in heaven. I'm not in hell either. I'm sitting in what looks like a vintage office, across from a man who looks like a cross between a stereotypical mob boss and a kind old grandpa. He's pounding the desk, laughing like he just heard the greatest joke in the universe.
After a minute, he finally calms down, clutching his sides and gasping, "Okay, I'm sorry—that's a new one. Oh my God, my ribs hurt. I didn't even know that was possible!"
I couldn't help it. Curiosity got the better of me. "Who the hell do you pray to?" I asked.
He suddenly got serious and said, "Don't ask. You'll stay sane longer."
I wisely dropped the subject.
"Anyway," he continued, "due to the flattering image of me you've got in your head, you can call me Don."
"You can read my mind?" I asked.
He grinned. "Duh. I'm a god. Not one of those weak ones who throw lightning bolts when they're upset. What was his name again? Zeus? Yeah, whatever. I don't care."
He leaned back. "If you've ever watched anime—and I know you have—you know what's coming next. You weren't supposed to die. It was actually supposed to be your roommate. But hey, bad time to make eggs, huh?"
"So what now?" I asked.
"Well, usually I give three wishes for a new life, but honestly? I haven't laughed that hard in centuries. I'm feeling generous—so I'll give you four. Make 'em count."
"Wait—where am I going?" I asked.
"High School DxD," he replied. "That'll be your base world. But you've got a bigger role to play, so you'll be jumping between universes too."
"So... I'm your cosmic errand boy?"
"Essentially," he said with a shrug. "But you'll get plenty of benefits, so don't complain too much. And don't bother wishing for a system—that's standard-issue for 'errand boys' like you."
"Damn it, DxD?" I groaned. "That world is basically doomed."
"Oh, I know," he said with a smirk. "That's why you're gonna save it. Good luck, buddy."
"Fine," I sighed. "For my first wish, I want to be a noble-born devil. A cousin of Rias from the Bael clan—but one who was ignored because he didn't inherit the Power of Destruction."
"Weird, but alright," Don nodded. "Next?"
"For my second wish, I want a secluded piece of land in the Underworld. Somewhere nice, far away from all the politics and important places—one no one would want to fight me over. And right in the center, I want a luxurious manor."
"No problem. Third?"
"For my third wish, I want perfect Evil Pieces. Ones that can fully restore someone—even if they're just a soul—reviving them completely and perfectly as a devil."
"Now that's a better wish," Don said. "You got it."
"And for my final wish—" I paused, smirking, "—I want Issei Hyoudou to suffer a brutal headache every time he thinks about any woman I care about in a perverted way. And if that doesn't stop him, it should escalate to feeling like a gorilla is punching him in the nuts."
Don burst out laughing again, nearly falling out of his chair. "No, no, I'm giving you that one as a freebie. Make a real final wish."
"Alright then... surprise me. Toss in a few other anime into the DxD world. Just... nothing supernatural. There's enough of that crap already."
Don gave me a sly smile. "Done and done. Well, if that's everything—enjoy your new life. And good luck."
Everything faded to black.
And just like that, my journey began.