Chapter 101: Horikita Suzune's Large Confession Scene
Hachiman Hikigaya's romantic story?
It still ended in failure.
This is something that actually happened.
It could be said that the classmate from middle school, who he thought would become a distant memory once they entered high school, was relegated to some forgotten corner of his mind.
But after Sakayanagi Arisu brought her up, the name [Orimoto Kaori] easily surfaced.
Back then, for the other person, it must have been a big surprise — suddenly being confessed to, something completely unexpected, when he did't talk to her that much.
Actually, he did talk to her. He had even sent text messages. Whether exchanging emails was out of pity or charity on her part, but for middle school Hachiman, whenever he found an excuse, he would send her a message. His feelings would fluctuate depending on whether or not he received a reply.
But of all of this, Orimoto definitely wouldn't know or remember.
So, this was probably just one of those inexplicable crushes in puberty. By the time he became aware of it, it became one of those embarrassing moments he wished he could throw into the corner of his past.
Because he had already realized that the other person probably never even noticed him.
So, he hated gentle girls. Just a slight greeting would make him subconsciously overthink, and just sending each other texts would stir his emotions. He would even smile at the call log for an entire day if he saw her name on it.
But Hachiman knew.
He knew that the people who were gentle with him were also gentle with others.
Time and time again, he hoped for something, only to be disappointed. Eventually, he stopped hoping. So, no matter what, he hated gentle girls.
It always led to misunderstandings.
"That's quite a pessimistic thought," Sakayanagi seemed to think for a moment before speaking. "But I guess the whole issue with the exam papers is now settled."
Originally, she had hoped to learn about Hachiman's past, but instead, it had turned into a dark and twisted tale of youth.
So, who exactly was Orimoto Kaori, the person who had even distorted his view of love?
How could she have caused such a distortion?
"I'm sorry that I touched on something that made you sad," Sakayanagi said. "However, I don't think it's the right thing to completely deny all girls."
"Then, Sakayanagi, are you part of the gentle category?" Hachiman asked.
"What do you think?" Sakayanagi gave him a cute smile.
Although she was cute, almost like a little angel, she probably was more like a little devil.
In the end, there wasn't much else to talk about, so Hachiman left the room.
Sakayanagi stayed behind in the private room.
"By the way, Kamuro, do you have any interesting love stories from middle school?"
Sakayanagi Arisu seemed to be quite interested in others' romantic experiences and began asking those around her.
However...
Kamuro furrowed her brows.
Because her first reaction was, why was Sakayanagi asking her this?
And...
How would she even know about this?
Her parents were artists, painters, and although she was also trained, she never wanted to follow in their footsteps.
In fact, she had been quite rebellious in middle school and had gone straight into the track and field club.
So, middle school life was probably all about sweating and running.
So, what was love?
More like, what even were boys?
...
After talking about the past with Sakayanagi, today's Hachiman seemed more rational.
When he returned to the classroom, he found Horikita eating alone.
Hmm.
Although it had been more than two months since they entered school, Horikita still made her own lunch.
Today's bento also looked quite delicious, and the tempting smell was enough to stimulate one's appetite.
Of course.
Horikita had no intention of sharing her lunch today. So, Hachiman silently watched her eat. And Horikita was indeed a very unique girl; even with boys staring at her, she kept a calm face and continued to do her own thing.
But then.
Hachiman saw her packing up her bento box.
Suddenly, he asked.
"Although this might be a bit sudden, can I ask you something?"
Hachiman suddenly spoke.
"...What is it?" Horikita looked over.
Today, there was a rumor among the girls that Hachiman had confessed to Ichinose.
But as someone who didn't really group up with others, Horikita didn't know about it.
She wasn't very interested in other people's matters anyway.
She's a genuine straight-laced girl.
So, among the girls he knows, she was the first one today who didn't look at him with strange eyes.
However.
Hachiman looked at her and suddenly thought of something.
"Back when I ran into you and your brother at the vending machine, what was the argument between you two about?" Hachiman asked.
This Horikita Suzune was just the younger sister of Horikita Manabu.
She was the younger sister of the student council president, Horikita Manabu.
Generally speaking, having such connections could be a good thing, allowing one to go through the back door, but if misused, it could become a weakness.
For example, even though she was the sister of someone with power, the greater her brother's power, the more cautious she had to be. Otherwise, if she were used by someone with bad intentions, it could cause trouble for her brother, and she would get dragged into it as well. It would be very frustrating.
This was also where Hachiman sometimes needed to assist.
Sometimes, it would be necessary to hide the fact that she was the sister of the student council president to avoid being exploited.
So, for now, the student council president's extra identity was just a useless appendage.
However.
What Hachiman wanted to confirm was that, during the fight with Sudo, her weakness had been exposed.
In front of her brother, she was just a younger sister.
A big coward.
If she didn't resolve this issue, there would be many times when she couldn't be of any help.
Because even if she hid her relationship with the student council president, there would still be occasions where she would have to appear in student council-related situations.
If she acted too strangely in those moments, it would draw attention.
Hachiman's class already had enough problems and bombs to deal with, so he didn't want to set off another one.
So today, he decided to play the role of a bomb disposal expert.
Thus.
Even if she might think he was probing into her feelings, he had to do it. "If you don't want to answer, you don't have to," he said.
"…Let me think," Horikita Suzune didn't refuse. In fact, she probably needed someone to talk to. "…My brother—"
She slowly began to speak, "My brother hates me, or rather, he doesn't take me seriously…"
Oh.
I see.
So that's how your sibling relationship is.
Hmm.
Hmm?
But.
What the hell is this? Are you sure you know the truth?
Isn't your brother obsessed with you?
Hachiman looked stunned.
Because your brother had spent 1 million points on your lessons, and even transferred 100,000 points here.
And now you say... your brother hates you? Doesn't care about you?
"My existence lowers everyone's opinion of my brother, that's all." Horikita Suzune spoke as if she had sentenced herself to death.
So when she was seen by the student council president back then, she immediately felt incompetent?
And showed such a cowardly side?
Because she felt weak?
So, is Horikita Suzune really weak?
This is something to think about. If we just consider her grades, academic abilities, and sports, her profile doesn't look bad.
But Hachiman knew that this girl always stuck to her own path.
For instance, she made her own lunch every day.
This earned her his praise.
His future goal was to become a house husband, so he had a good impression of people who could cook.
And this girl was a bookworm, studying for 10 hours a day.
Hachiman had been to her dorm, and on her wall, there was a schedule chart.
The schedule was something like this.
Every day, in addition to class time, she studied an extra 4 hours.
That meant she studied for 10 hours a day!
And this was day after day.
The fact that she could keep this up showed remarkable perseverance.
Today, he had been reminded of his middle school memories by Sakayanagi, which made Hachiman feel somewhat sentimental. But now, he suddenly thought maybe he could help Horikita Suzune.
"Horikita, what do you really want to do? Or rather, what do you want your brother to do?"
Hachiman felt that today's Horikita Suzune had returned to the image of the younger sister Horikita, and after talking about her brother, she became extremely weak.
As a fellow older brother, Hachiman looked at her.
"You're asking me what I want to do…"
Suddenly, Horikita clenched her fist, "I… I want my brother to acknowledge me…"
"Since childhood, my brother's shadow has always been in front of me. Whatever I wanted to do, he had already done it before me, which made me feel inferior. And because of that, I knew that in his view, I didn't exist. So, I want him to look at me, I want him to acknowledge me, I want to see what lies ahead of my brother's gaze."
"I see… So, you're trying to imitate his way of living," Hachiman said.
In a way, he had now touched the core of Horikita Suzune's feelings.
It turned out that this seemingly cold woman had such a simple heart inside.
She was like many others, with a capable older sister or brother, and because of this comparison, she couldn't find her own place.
Then, she envied and wanted to become as capable as her older sister or brother.
However.
Did she really need to become that smart? Did she really need to become that excellent? Was it so hard to accept that she couldn't measure up to him?
Why force herself to accomplish nearly impossible tasks?
So, your brother might be a Nobel winner, but no one is forcing you to win a Nobel Prize too.
And human nature is quite strange.
You envy others, but perhaps others are envious of you, and you don't even realize it. However, when it comes to envying the wealthy, the wealthy certainly don't envy the poor.
But Horikita Suzune was a bit different.
She wanted it herself; she wanted to become excellent like her older brother, Horikita Manabu.
This was her choice.
Not anyone else's demand.
However.
"I say, Horikita…" Hachiman crossed his arms, "You're alone, aren't you? Your brother is well-liked, has many friends, and if I hadn't forced you to interact with Kushida, you'd have no friends at all."
Horikita Suzune flinched at his words. "I just like being alone, I'm not lonely. I've liked being alone since elementary school, no, since kindergarten, but I don't feel lonely. I just seem a bit solitary, that's all."
Hmm.
Hachiman had heard this before.
And he had also thought about it.
Is being alone really bad?
Only the strong can be alone, while the weak need to group together to survive.
However.
He didn't entirely dismiss Horikita Suzune.
Because.
Horikita Suzune wasn't closing herself off; rather, she didn't want to waste time interacting with others, or more accurately, she didn't think that interacting with others would bring her anything.
So.
She wouldn't feel anxious about not having friends.
She wouldn't feel ashamed because of it.
She wouldn't even feel bullied because of being excluded.
Because.
She was actually enjoying her own world.
She was happy.
Since she was happy, what's wrong with that?
So.
She couldn't really be described as lonely; loneliness is someone else's judgment of others, but she herself doesn't feel it?
But, this world isn't always kind.
Hachiman had the strong feeling that Horikita Suzune was in the wrong school, because as he slowly came to understand the true nature of the school, he realized that this type of person wasn't suited to survive here.
However.
"I'm not arguing," Hachiman said. "I'm saying, you might be a bit mistaken." He continued, "You and your brother are two different people. From your personalities alone, he has many friends, do you have any? Aren't you trying to become exactly like him?"
"…Hachiman, don't misinterpret me. I just want to…"
"Do you want to become like him?" Hachiman interrupted her.
"After all, my brother has always been my goal, so I once hoped to be like him, but if you ask me whether I want to become exactly like him… well," her expression grew uncertain, "I'm not sure."
This made it very clear.
Horikita Suzune had already gone down the wrong path.
"Wanting to become exactly like your goal is problematic. You can take him as your goal, but there's no need to walk the same path as him. Because you are you, and not Horikita Manabu. And Horikita Manabu isn't called Horikita Suzune."
"…" Horikita Suzune suddenly became much weaker. She had followed in her brother's footsteps, attending the same junior high, the same high school, and now, she didn't even know what she was doing. "Then… you don't have any goal? You never thought about what kind of person you want to be?"
"Well…" Hachiman gently looked up, "I want to be a stay-at-home husband."
"I don't have to worry about earning money, I just stay at home and do housework."
"And then someone takes care of me."
Noticing the strange look on Horikita Suzune's face, Hachiman knew his idea would be difficult for most people to understand, so he added, "This is my idea. If you don't want to take care of me, then you have no right to criticize."
"…" Horikita Suzune.
"…Anyway, although I haven't thought much about what kind of person I want to be, the only thing I know now is that I want my brother to acknowledge me," Horikita Suzune didn't pick up on his remark about taking care of him but fell deep into her own thoughts. "But, my brother doesn't acknowledge the current me."
"In order to get him to acknowledge me, I can only enter class A, but I know that relying on myself alone won't get me there."
"And right now, I'm still very weak," Horikita Suzune said. "And my brother also wants me to learn from you."
"And then…"
She mumbled, as though it was difficult to say.
"I hope you can help me. To move up to class A, to get my brother's approval." She suddenly grabbed the collar of her uniform, as if this might ease her nervousness a little. "Hachiman, I don't understand what you're thinking. Your way of thinking, your behavior patterns, I can't figure them out."
"But. Even so.
No matter who you are, it doesn't matter. I know I need you, Hachiman-kun!"
As she said this, Horikita Suzune extended her hand to Hachiman.
Then, with a sharp and slightly eager gaze, she looked at him.
Wow.
Hachiman noticed that some classmates had returned to the classroom and witnessed this scene.
They were stunned, their mouths hanging open.
They probably misunderstood something.
Because.
She needs you! A girl just said she needs you!
Mm.
That was the scene of Horikita Suzune's confession.
After the lunch break, during the class break, the rumors in class shifted from Hachiman confessing to Ichinose to Horikita Suzune confessing to Hachiman.
And then everyone was curious—did Hachiman accept?