I never understood why people try so hard to build relationships with others. They laugh, share stories, and rely on each other like it's something important. To me, it all just feels like a waste of time.
My name is Risyad Atmaja. I just entered Adhidarma High School, one of the most prestigious schools in this city. I got the highest score on the entrance exam, and because of that, I had to stand on stage on the first day to give a speech as the representative of the new students. They all stared at me—hundreds of eyes filled with expectations and admiration. But all I felt was exhaustion.
"Risyad!"
I hadn't even had a chance to sit down after the speech when some students began approaching me. They introduced themselves, trying to be friendly, trying to strike up a conversation.
"Hey, your speech was really cool!" said a guy with a wide smile. "We're in the same class, right? I'm Bayu. Nice to meet you!"
I just nodded. "Hm."
"Wow, top score in the entrance exam! You must've studied really hard, huh?" said an enthusiastic girl with glasses.
I glanced at her briefly. "Not really."
They laughed, but I didn't get what was so funny. Then, another girl with twin ponytails stepped forward. "Hey, if you need a study buddy or anything, feel free to hang out with us! So you won't be alone."
I looked at them for a moment, then simply said, "I prefer being alone."
They seemed awkward for a moment before trying to lighten the mood with a small laugh. But I knew they would give up soon. I wasn't interested in them, and sooner or later they'd realize that.
The first day passed, and interactions like that kept happening for the next few days. I always sat in the corner of the classroom, never joined conversations or group activities. I knew what they said about me behind my back—"arrogant," "no friends," "too serious"—but I didn't care. What mattered was living my life without interference.
I didn't need friends. I didn't need anyone.
That day, the class was noisy because of a group assignment. The teacher had already randomly assigned the groups, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I had to work with people who were clearly slower than me.
"Risyad, let's divide the tasks," said one of the kids in my group. "So it's fair, we can—"
"I'll do it myself," I cut him off without looking at them.
"Huh? But… this is a group task."
I let out a long sigh. "If you guys do it, the results won't be satisfying. So it's better if I do it."
They fell silent, clearly offended. But I didn't care. Better this way than wasting my time fixing their work.
"So arrogant, Risyad," someone muttered behind me.
I turned with a cold gaze. "I'm just being realistic. If you don't like it, go ahead and report me to the teacher. But at least we'll get a good grade."
They were silent. No one responded. I gave a faint smile. Just as I expected.
But life is never that simple.
"Hey, you're always alone, huh?"
I looked up from the book I was reading in the school garden. A girl stood in front of me with a bright smile. Rainsha Ranindy, or more often called Rara. I didn't know much about her except that she was quite popular in class. And now, she was trying to talk to me.
"Why do you care?" I asked flatly.
Rara wasn't offended. She just chuckled and sat down on the bench next to me. "I'm just curious. Everyone avoids you, but you don't look bothered at all. Usually, people would feel lonely."
I scoffed. "Loneliness is an illusion. People rely too much on that feeling."
She looked at me with an unreadable expression. "You really see the world differently, huh?"
I didn't respond. I just wanted to get back to my book and hoped she would leave. But for some reason I didn't understand, she didn't.
I flipped the page of my book, trying to ignore her presence. But Rara stayed there, with no sign of leaving.
"Aren't you afraid people will avoid you too if you keep talking to me?" I finally asked, still not looking at her.
Rara shrugged. "Why should I be? I don't really care what others think. Besides, I'm curious about you."
I slowly closed my book and looked at her. "Curious?"
"Yeah," she said with a smile. "You're the smartest in our grade, but you're not interested in socializing at all. Usually, people like that either become leaders or are highly depended on. But you… you choose to be alone. I want to know why."
I stared at her for a few seconds before answering, "No particular reason. I just don't want to waste my time on things that aren't important."
"So, you think interacting with others isn't important?"
I nodded. "People just talk to fill the silence. They laugh, share stories, but in the end, they leave when they don't need you anymore. I don't want to waste my time on something that won't last."
Rara went silent for a moment. I thought she would give up like the others, but instead, she smiled wider. "Wow, are you a pessimist or just a realist?"
I sighed. "Depends on how you see it."
She laughed softly, then stood up. "Alright then, I won't waste your time anymore."
I nodded, thinking she finally got it. But before she left, she turned and said cheerfully, "But I'm not so sure you really don't need anyone. One day, you'll realize it yourself."
I frowned, but before I could respond, she had already walked away, leaving me in silence.
I thought that would be our last meeting. But I was very wrong.
The next day, I found Rara sitting on the same bench in the garden, reading a book that she clearly brought on purpose.
"What are you doing here?" I asked flatly.
She turned and smiled. "Reading. There's no rule saying I can't sit here, right?"
I sighed and sat on my usual bench. I tried to ignore her, but somehow, her presence felt too noticeable.
"Why are you still here?" I finally asked.
Rara closed her book and looked at me. "You don't mind, do you? Or would you rather I leave?"
I didn't answer. I should've said "yes," but for some reason, the word didn't come out.
Rara smiled slightly. "Then you don't mind. Good. I'll sit here again tomorrow."
I looked at her, trying to understand what she meant. But she was already back to reading her book, as if my presence didn't bother her at all.