Kai died on a Tuesday afternoon.
Not heroically.
Not dramatically.
And certainly not in any way that would impress future historians or horny succubus queens.
No, he died in the dumbest way possible:
Halfway through a solo VR dungeon crawl, alone in his attic, surrounded by energy drink cans, anime posters, and the unmistakable smell of instant noodles.
His headset glowed red, overloaded by a "magical overload event" in Succubus Dungeon EX+ Ultimate Edition. He'd just triggered a hidden boss scene—boobs, wings, tentacles—and then—
"System overload. Neural feedback unstable."
And then nothing.
No pain.
No drama.
Just one last, stupid thought before his brain blinked out:
"Crap. I never cleared my browser history."
When he opened his eyes again, he wasn't in a hospital bed. Sunlight bathed the world in a soft golden glow, casting long shadows across the grass like it was early morning.
He was in grass.
Warm, soft, too-real grass that tickled his skin and smelled faintly of lavender and ozone.
Above him stretched a sky with three suns—three—burning in slow spirals around a single floating moon. Clouds shimmered gold, and in the distance, a dragon the size of a cruise ship soared lazily between jagged blue mountains.
Kai sat up, blinking hard. "Am I dead… or just very, very concussed?"
Then he looked down at himself.
Gone was the soft, slightly pudgy body of a caffeine-fueled MMO grinder. In its place: toned abs, lean muscle, and strong legs that looked like they'd been sculpted in an anime studio.
He flexed his bicep. "Oh. My. God. Is this what reincarnation feels like?"
[H.E.A.R.T. System Initializing…]
A soft chime rang in his ears. A glowing pink interface bloomed in front of him, complete with heart-shaped borders, sparkles, and elegant cursive font.
"…I've been isekai'd into a dating sim," Kai whispered.
[Welcome, Kai.]
[Status: Virgin (Confirmed).]
[Affection Data: 0]
[Main Objective: Become the Harem King.]
[First Quest Activated: Seduce Your First Companion.]
Kai stared.
"Excuse me?!"
The interface sparkled cheerfully.
[System Type: H.E.A.R.T. – Harem-Enhanced Adaptive Rank Technology]
"The more they love you… the more the world bows to you."
Kai rubbed his face. "Okay. Okay. Think. I'm dead. I got transported. And now I've got a literal hentai system telling me to… start a harem."
A large pink button popped up with one word:
[Touch to Begin]
Naturally, he touched it.
[Passive Skill Unlocked: Beguiling Presence Lv.1 – Women are 15% more likely to find you attractive.]
"Fifteen percent, huh?" he muttered. "I'll take it."
He stood up, stretching. His limbs moved like liquid. His vision was sharper. The wind whispered in a language he almost understood. Something about this world hummed with… potential.
And then—
Rustling in the trees. He hadn't moved more than a few meters from where he first awoke, still trying to wrap his head around the surreal setting when the sound cut through the quiet.
Kai turned just in time to see two figures step into the clearing.
The first was an elf. Tall, silver-haired, and dressed in green silk armor. A longbow rested across her back, and her emerald eyes narrowed at Kai with caution and a hint of annoyance.
The second was… something else.
Fox ears twitched atop golden hair. A fluffy tail swayed behind her. Her outfit was more belts than fabric, revealing bronzed skin, tight curves, and mischief in every motion.
Kai blinked. "Oh no. They're hot."
The elf spoke first. "You. Are you the anomaly?"
"…I'm definitely an anomaly."
The foxgirl tilted her head. "He smells weird. Like mana and… frustration."
[Alert: High Affinity Female Targets Detected]
[Triggering Passive Attraction Aura...]
[New Companion Candidates Identified.]
Kai coughed. "Frustration?! That's just how I always smell!"
Name: Lyria Moonshade
Race: High Elf
Affection Level: 22
Potential Bond: Yes
Name: Nika Flamepaw
Race: Foxkin Scout
Affection Level: 38
Potential Bond: Yes
The system chimed again.
[New Quest: Make Physical Contact with a Companion]
Reward: +10 Affection | Unlock Intimacy Rank I
Kai stared at the screen. "Are you actually encouraging me to flirt during a first contact situation?"
[Confirmed.]
The elf narrowed her eyes. "Your mana signature is unstable. Almost… corrupted."
"Wait," Kai raised his hands. "Let's not jump to conclusions—"
"You were teleported here via divine override," she snapped. "That kind of power warps the world."
"Divine override?" Kai echoed.
The foxgirl stepped closer, grinning. "You're not from here, are you?"
He shook his head.
"Lucky me," she purred. "I love imported goods."
Kai's brain momentarily shut down.
[Affection +2: Nika – Total: 40]
Lyria scowled. "Don't play with it, Nika."
"He's not an 'it'. He's a man," Nika teased, circling Kai. "And according to the system, a very touch-starved one."
Kai nearly short-circuited. "How do you know about the system?"
Both girls exchanged a look.
Lyria's voice turned cold. "Because systems like yours were sealed centuries ago."
Nika nodded. "The last one caused three civil wars and got twelve queens pregnant."
Kai blinked. "…I mean, that's kind of impressive."
Lyria pulled an arrow from her quiver. "It's also why we kill them on sight."
[System Warning: Threat Detected]
Kai backed up. "Okay, hold on! I didn't ask for this system! It just—installed itself!"
"Classic," Lyria muttered.
Kai turned to Nika. "Can you please explain to her I'm not some evil, lust-fueled maniac?"
Nika tilted her head. "Are you?"
"No!"
"…Are you sure?"
Kai clenched his fists. "Okay, maybe I fantasized about being summoned to a fantasy world with catgirls and magic swords—but I didn't think it would actually happen!"
[Affection +3: Nika – Total: 43]
Nika giggled. "Honesty. I like that."
Kai exhaled. "So what happens now? Do I… get stabbed, or do we go on a quest together or something?"
Lyria's eyes flicked to the glowing system above his shoulder.
"Your Affection values are rising too quickly. That interface… it's not fake."
"Nope," Kai said. "It's clingier than my last Tinder match."
Nika looked intrigued. "What happens if we touch him?"
Kai blinked. "Can we not start with the touching?"
[New Optional Trigger: Intimacy Rank I]
Objective: Make consensual contact
Bonus Effect: Unlock Affection Aura Lv.1
Nika stepped closer.
"Let's find out."
As she reached toward him, Kai's system flared in neon pink.
[Warning: Intimacy Detected – Processing Affection Path]
Kai closed his eyes.
This was insane.
He'd died eating noodles.
And now he was one heartbeat away from starting a magical harem in a world that made zero sense.
But somehow…
He wasn't complaining.