The conversation had swung back around to Basil as they ate. Dario stayed firmly out of it, thinking it wasn't fair to talk about Maria's problems when she wasn't there to defend herself. Of course, that didn't stop Aza and Woo-Jin from talking about it like some tabloid magazine.
"He's some witchling," Woo-Jin said. "She couldn't have honestly expected it to go anywhere."
"Spineless prick," Aza said through the last mouthful of her sandwich. She swallowed and added, "He's using his parents as an excuse. 'Can't keep associating with you'? The nerve."
"Well, it was a little harsh, but he has a reputation to uphold."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "What, you're defending him now?"
"I'm not defending, I just think it was— understandable?"
"So it's understandable that he's more concerned about his reputation than treating her like a human being?"
Woo-Jin pointed his fork at her. "You keep saying that. About being treated like human beings."
Aza stared for a bit. "What about it?" she asked.
"Well, she's not human, that's the problem. At least part of it anyway." He gestured to the three of them sitting around the table, grasping at what he was trying to say. "We aren't—"
"Stop." She held up her hand. "We are still human."
"But we're entomon." Woo-Jin's voice went up at the end, as if he were asking a question.
"And we're still human. The wings don't make us any different."
"But we are different," he said slowly, still confused. "Different magic and stuff."
"As people. We aren't any different as people. You take away the wings and the magic, we're all just people."
"But we're still different. Wings are a pretty big difference."
Aza groans. "You're not hearing me." She brushed a shorter lock of brown hair out of her face, one that would never stay in her ponytail. "We aren't, like, biologically incompatible. Right? An entomon and an avian could have a kid, and the kid won't be some hybrid. It's going to be one or the other."
"Yeah, but—"
"And wings are just a manifestation of magic—or essence, or whatever you want to call it," Aza waved her hand dismissively. "And that's completely separate from biology. Why should we be considered a lesser species because of a difference in magic? Biologically, in a matter of consciousness, we're the same."
"I never said we were lesser, just different," Woo-Jin corrected.
"But we're treated as lesser. Because of that difference. Drawing these lines and subscribing to this idea that we're different species, it lets people go in and decide which 'species' is superior."
"Hey, you're talking a little loud, don't you think?" Dario cuts in, looking over his shoulder. This argument was more than just a matter of philosophy or theories about biology.
She scoffed. "Do you believe it, then? Do you just believe everything that comes out of the dean's mouth at his stupid assemblies?"
"Of course not. I just—" Dario tried to defend.
"That's your game then," Aza cut in. "Compliance. Turning a blind eye to make things easier for yourself."
"It's not easier, it's— safer. To not get too involved with all of that." Dario was the one grasping for words now under Aza's hard gaze.
Aza pointed to Woo-Jin. "You sound like him now."
Dario paused. "What's that supposed to mean?"
It was a dumb question. Dario knew exactly what that meant. Not being too loud when it comes to politics. Dario did agree with Aza and the whole "species" debate, but the problem was being too loud about it.
Woo-Jin looked at his watch. "I've got to get going. Oh, but I still owe you from last time." He reaches into his bag, handing Aza a box from a pastry shop.
Aza's eyes light up, as if she'd forgotten she's been debating with them.
"You had it this whole time?" she whined.
"If I gave it to you earlier, you would eat them all instead of dinner," Woo-Jin smiles. He kisses her, a little peck on the forehead. He gave Dario a wave. "I'll see you tomorrow."
His wings are out in a flash with their shiny jewel beetle casing, and he flies down to the ground floor.
Dario looked back up at Aza, who had already opened the box of what looked like chocolates. She pops one in her mouth, then notices Dario staring.
Aza holds out the box to him. "You want?"
"What… what was that?" Dario asked incredulously.
She chewed slowly, looking confused. "Bonbons?"
"No. that," he gestured vaguely over the edge of the balcony where Woo-Jin had left. "The kiss." Dario finally managed to say.
"Oh, that," Aza said dismissively, reaching for another chocolate.
"So what, you're an item now?"
"I guess. Don't call us an item, though. Makes me feel like a product."
"So, he's your boyfriend?" Dario asked.
She gave a noncommittal grunt. "I don't really want to label it, you know."
"Well, when did this happen? I was gone for a week, how much could happen in that time?"
"This happened weeks ago."
"No one told me."
"First of all, the world doesn't revolve around you." She ate another chocolate and continued with her mouth full. "And it's not like we're super public with it. If anyone would tell you, it would be Woo-Jin, but you and him weren't talking."
"And you wouldn't tell me?"
She scoffed, putting her hands up. "Alright, I'm so sorry for not giving you the play-by-play. When were you so interested in my life?"
"You wound me," Dario laughed. "I thought we were friends."
"Are we?" There was a pause. "Friends, I mean?"
Dario felt his smile fade. "I guess I never said 'you're my friend now'. I assumed we just were."
"Maria's my friend, and you're always just there," Aza said. Then she smirked. "You're more like a sad dog she made the mistake of feeding. Now you won't leave her alone."
"I'd say she's the one who won't leave me alone. Just this morning, she drags me out of the house at the crack of dawn to see the cherry blossoms that have already wilted off the trees." Dario grabbed a bonbon out of the box. "And why ask to come out here if we aren't exactly friends then?"
"Because you're always available," Aza said plainly, closing the box and setting it on the table. "The sad dog with endless free time, I mean it gets hard to watch."
Dario did have a lot more time after dropping out of the theater. Having left so suddenly, he didn't have anything else to replace it with. This free time should have been used for studying, but sitting down to revise every night would have driven him insane.
"Oh, well, thanks for the sympathy," Dario snarked.
Aza stood up and stretched, arms high above her head. "I guess I can call you my friend if it makes you feel better."
Dario grabbed his bag. "I don't need a pity friend."
"It's not pitying you. Exactly," she added. "I guess we just don't know each other very well."
"Yeah, you're right. I just learned today you're capable of feeling emotions, like love, which is huge," Dario joked.
Aza swatted his arm. "Shut up," she laughed. "It's kinda late. Walk with me?"
ˋˏ-༻❁༺-ˎˊ
They hung out as a group together after school occasionally, but they'd usually go their separate ways after. Walking together seemed to mandate talking, forcing Dario to realize that he and Aza don't talk much when it's just the two of them.
"So how'd you get stuck taking your stepsister to the theater?" Aza pivoted.
"Half-sister," Dario corrected. "Same mom, different dad. I guess she doesn't look too much like my mom, but people say I looked more like my dad."
They'd already exhausted the topics of what happened over break, and Aza avoided talking about her new relationship.
"He's cute, I guess. In an uptight kind of way. I don't think that makes sense." That's all she would say on the subject.
The streets had started to thin out, and there was no longer the chatter of the crowded city streets. Dario wasn't sure what else to say to prop up the silence, and instead started rambling about his family.
"My mother works as a school nurse at Starton College. A lot of aurum accidents there, you know, so she has her work cut out for her. My stepfather does— something with the post office, I'm not entirely sure, actually. I think they were living together for a while before they got married, and then I moved in with them—"
"You didn't live with your mom before then?" Aza asked.
"No, I lived with my aunt. Me and Maria lived together for years, I thought you knew."
"Ah. Maybe that would explain her being worried about you. Big sister instinct?"
"I'm older than her."
"By like a month. Maria is an old soul," Aza joked. "Wait. But why did you live together?"
"That's— complicated. Not really a good story."
"Well, I know your dad's not really around. That's a story, isn't it?"
Dario paused. It was something he didn't talk about, even with Woo-Jin or Maria. But Maria already knew the broad strokes of the situation, and Woo-Jin didn't inquire about personal matters. Dario had known Woo-Jin for four years now, and he'd never been curious enough to even ask. And Aza was asking right out of the gate.
Aza noticed the reluctance. "Oh, you don't have to. I wasn't trying to pry into…" she trailed off.
"No, it's fine," Dario said.
It didn't feel fine. But not answering made it feel like a dirty secret. It wasn't a secret, or at least he didn't want it to be, but it was definitely a sore spot. Talking about it felt like prodding a toothache with your tongue. It was painful, but you couldn't stop yourself once you were reminded it was there.
"My parents got a divorce when I was about three, maybe. Or it was more like my dad just left. I don't remember much. That's all there is to say about that story." He sighed. "The long story is me staying with my aunt after that. My mom had trouble with work or something after the divorce, and my aunt insisted it would be better for me to stay with her. She said it was more stable and 'stability' is important for a child." Dario used air quotes. "I lived there until I started at Honeyoak."
"Wait," Aza tapped the air, doing the mental math. "From when you were three until first year— that's, what, seven years?"
"Eight."
"Eight years and your aunt didn't think your mother's house was stable enough? That's a bit presumptuous of her, isn't it?"
"Like I said, it's complicated."
"So you moved when you went to Honeyoak, and that was— four years ago? But your sister's like, five." Aza squinted as she put the timeline together. "Your mom got remarried and had another kid, and you still weren't living with her?"
"My aunt was definitely— presumptuous, like you said." Dario sighed. "She didn't really like Kamari, my stepdad. Maybe because he's not Danaid, or maybe because she thought he'd be a repeat of my own father…"
Dario trailed off, fiddling with his school bag. Prodding the sore spot had turned into a sharp pain. He'd realized now that he'd never put this story into words before, and now he wasn't sure how without making the parties involved look bad. But maybe they made themselves look bad?
"And, um, that's just a long way of saying it's— really complicated. And sort of a whole lot of nothing."
"That's not nothing, that's interesting. Better than what I've got going on."
"Well then, I'd like for my life to be a little less interesting." Dario groaned. "Everyone's always asking me if I'm alright, and how I'm adjusting to things, and 'you know you can tell me anything'. Like I'm supposed to tell my mother we've been at Roslin's all day. She'd have a fit."
"Wow, what a tragedy," Aza droned sardonically. "People asking how your day was. The torture."
He chuckled. "How will I ever survive 'til graduation?" Dario joked. "But I just want some room to breathe. To actually have the space to figure out if I'm alright or not."
"You can't tell if you're alright?" Aza asked.
Dario paused. "I don't know what I feel. Like I'm just sort of floating through my life, not really feeling any of it. Or feeling too much all at once. Or both at the same time."
"That's confusing."
"That's my problem."
They walked in silence for a bit, Dario not knowing what else to add to that.
"What about you?" He asked, breaking the silence.
"Hm?"
"What about your family?"
"Oh." Aza tucked her bit of loose hair behind her ear. "It's not super interesting."
Dario scoffed. "I told you my boring sob story. What's yours then? I think I deserve something in return."
"Well, mine's actually a boring story," Aza rolled her eyes. "Parents are still together, but they really should have gotten divorced ages ago. Run a failing business and somehow make it my problem. That's all there is." She kicked a rock in their path, the rock clattering into the gutter. "Sometimes I wish I had dead parents instead of incompetent ones."
Dario flinched. "I don't think you mean that," he said slowly.
"How do you know what I mean?" she mumbled, eyes fixed on the ground in front of her. "Isn't that the appeal of the orphan hero? When the parents are dead, you can imagine whatever you want about them. Believe in this life that could have been. But I know my parents, and all I see is how I'm not going to amount to anything. And I know I come from trash, so how could I be any better?"
"You're not trash," Dario said. "I think you're pretty great."
Aza's pace slowed, coming to a stop. Dario stopped to wait for her. Her eyes were still fixed on the ground.
"Well, you're— nice," she said, still looking at the ground. "I mean, you're just a nice person. A good person."
"You say that like it's something special," Dario said.
"I don't see much of it. Everybody wants something." Aza started walking again. "I just don't know what you want from me."
"I don't want anything." Dario walked with her again, a bit confused. "I like talking to you. Maybe that's something I want," he added.
"You see, that's what I mean," Aza said. "Maybe you're a little too nice.
"Well, I think you're honest. Brutally so." He laughed. "And a pretty bad liar. Do you really think you tricked me into talking it out with Woo-Jin?"
"You came, didn't you? That's all I wanted. Who cares if you believed me or not?"
"Did you make him apologize then?" Dario asked.
"Like I can make him do anything," Aza said. "It was annoying to see you having a spat over the drama department. I knew you just had to talk instead of avoiding each other."