(1)For the first time in his life, Xiao Yang wished he were dead.Seven pairs of eyes were locked onto him—Ye Qingxuan's poisoned needle was at his throat,Yan Hongling's flaming whip coiled around his waist,Lin Hanyi's sword tip was pressed to his forehead,Feng Ling'er's space blade was at his neck,Jiang Chenyu's golden abacus aimed at his nether region,Aman's poisonous insects crawled all over his legs,And Su Meier, who had just been "dual cultivated" into near unconsciousness, lay lazily on his lap, licking her lips seductively.
"Explain," Ye Qingxuan's voice was icy. "Or the next needle will make you eternally remembered… as a corpse."
Xiao Yang swallowed. "If I said... it was a system malfunction..."
"Malfunction?" Yan Hongling's whip tightened. "You drained a Tribulation Stage ancestor dry, and you're calling it a malfunction?!"
Lin Hanyi's sword moved half an inch closer. "Sword cultivators don't lie."
Feng Ling'er tilted her head. "Dissection required."
Jiang Chenyu played with her abacus with a smile: "Compensation for essence loss, emotional damage, my errand fee... round it up—fifty million spirit stones."
Aman poked Su Meier's cheek, grinning. "Master~ how does it feel?"
Su Meier stretched lazily. "Mmm... better than I imagined..."
Xiao Yang: "..."Is it too late to self-detonate his golden core?
(2)[Ding! Ultimate shura field detected.][Calculating survival rate... 0.0000001%][Recommendation: activate Ultimate Harmony Protocol.]
Liuli floated mid-air, munching on watermelon. "Host, how about a kiss? I can format your memory~"
Xiao Yang gritted his teeth. "YOU'RE the reason I'm in this mess!!"
"Injustice!" Liuli looked innocent. "How was I supposed to know you could reverse-dual-cultivate a Tribulation Stage master? Even I didn't know that bug existed!"
Suddenly, Su Meier leaned in and whispered into Xiao Yang's ear, her red lips brushing his skin: "Little lover~ wanna join the Hehuan Sect? Big sis will teach you the real dual cultivation~"
Boom!
Six attacks simultaneously blasted the ground where Su Meier had just been, leaving a ten-zhang-deep crater.
"Master is still asking for a beating~" Aman clapped cheerfully.
(3)The Hehuan Sect main hall had become a full-on war zone.Seven female leads sat in a circle, with Xiao Yang tied up like a dumpling in the center.Liuli projected a glowing screen beside them:
[Love Thread Harmony Meeting Agenda]
Xiao Yang's Ownership Rights
Compensation Plan for Dual Cultivation Incident
Future Cultivation Schedule
Vote on New Member Admission
"I object!" ×6All except Su Meier slammed the table in unison.
Ye Qingxuan sneered, "A demon girl from the Hehuan Sect wants in?"
Su Meier smirked. "Aw~ jealous, poison girl?"
Yan Hongling's whip cracked on the floor. "Seniority matters!"
Lin Hanyi silently sharpened her sword. "Cut and redistribute."
Feng Ling'er started slicing space. "Divide into seven portions."
Jiang Chenyu's abacus clicked rapidly. "According to market value, each holds 14.28%..."
Aman raised her hand. "I vote for a rotation schedule!"
Xiao Yang: "..."Are they dividing pork... or me?!
(4)Just as the quarrel escalated, the hall violently shook!
"Report—!" a panicked disciple burst in. "The Saintess of Xuantian Sect is attacking! She claims we kidnapped her fiancé!"
Xiao Yang: "???"
[Ding! New faction detected.][Xuantian Sect Saintess: Bai Li (Ice Soul Physique)][Traits: Absolute Zero / Ice Domain][Danger Level: ★★★★★]
A burst of sword energy split the hall's dome. Snow and wind poured in.A stunning woman in white, with silver hair and frost-blue eyes, stepped in on her sword.
"Xiao Yang," she said coldly, "our three-year agreement is up. It's time to fulfill the engagement."
Xiao Yang was dumbfounded. "What engagement?! I don't even know you!"
Bai Li threw a jade pendant inscribed with both their names.
"When you were seven, you peeked at me bathing in the back mountain hot spring. You were caught on the spot.""By sect rules—marry or be castrated."
Xiao Yang: "..."He vaguely recalled such an incident...
"Wait! I was SEVEN! That counts?!"
Bai Li nodded. "In Xuantian Sect, we honor all agreements."
(5)The hall's temperature plummeted.
Ye Qingxuan's poison needle froze;Yan Hongling's flames flickered weakly;Lin Hanyi's sword turned frosty;Feng Ling'er stopped phasing;Jiang Chenyu's abacus cracked;Aman's bugs entered hibernation;Su Meier sneezed.
"Ooh~" Su Meier licked her lips. "Little Ice Princess wants a slice too?"
Bai Li ignored her, walked up to Xiao Yang, and grabbed his collar. "Come back to Xuantian Sect and marry me. Or..."
An ice blade formed in her other hand, slowly inching downward…
Xiao Yang clamped his legs together. "Let's talk this out!"
[Ding! New love-thread detected.][Bai Li (Ice Soul Physique · White Thread)][Current Bond: -50% (Wants to castrate you)]
Liuli suddenly cheered: "Host! Kiss her! Collect all eight threads and unlock the system's final feature!"
Xiao Yang: "KISS YOUR GRANDMA!!!"
(6)Battle erupted instantly.
Bai Li's ice storm vs. Ye Qingxuan's poison fog;Yan Hongling's fire phoenix vs. Lin Hanyi's sword energy;Feng Ling'er's space distortion vs. Jiang Chenyu's golden thread array;Aman's awakened bugs vs. Su Meier's crimson silk.
Meanwhile...Xiao Yang was being dragged across the battlefield by his waistband, courtesy of Liuli.
"Why are you running?!" Liuli scolded. "Go kiss someone!"
"They'll KILL ME!" Xiao Yang screamed.
"Nah~" Liuli blinked. "Worst case, they just divide you into eight equal parts~"
Suddenly, Bai Li's ice blade veered midair—straight for his groin!
"Sh*t!" Xiao Yang rolled out of the way. "You're serious?!"
Bai Li's voice was colder than ever. "If you won't marry, we'll follow sect rules."
The other seven stopped fighting and stared... right at Xiao Yang's lower half.
"Wait!" Xiao Yang blurted, "I have a proposal!"
He pulled out a dice. "Why don't... we roll to decide who I train with tonight?"
(7)Eight beautiful pairs of eyes narrowed.
"Interesting~" Su Meier was the first to agree.
Aman raised her hand. "I want number six!"
Jiang Chenyu pulled out a golden dice. "This one's weighted with lead."
Ye Qingxuan sneered. "How about a poison dice?"
Yan Hongling's dice was already on fire...
Bai Li calmly formed one out of ice. "Let's begin."
[Ding! Host has triggered self-destruct behavior.][Eightfold Shura Field Activated.][Calculating survival rate... 0.0000000001%]
Trembling, Xiao Yang picked up the dice—then had a flash of inspiration. "How about... all together?"
Instantly, eight murderous auras locked onto him.
"I mean! Cultivating together!" he corrected. "Love-thread resonance! Yes! It'll boost our cultivation collectively!"
Liuli suddenly slapped her forehead. "Right! All eight threads resonating unlock 'Chaos Furnace Mode'!"
[Chaos Furnace Mode]Effect: Dual cultivate with multiple love-thread hosts. Boosts efficiency by 800%.Side Effect: Possible death by essence depletion.
Xiao Yang: "..."Is it too late to self-detonate his Nascent Soul?
(8)In the end, the eight women reached the strangest peace treaty in history—A rotation system.
Daily schedule split by the hour (Jiang Chenyu handles timekeeping and charges fees)
One rest day per week (Liuli's enforced system maintenance)
Lottery draws for special holidays (Aman's bugs act as witnesses)
New members require unanimous approval (Current opposition: 100%)
As for Xiao Yang…
He was locked inside Hehuan Sect's custom-made "Eight-Thread Spirit Binding Array,"Eight colored collars around his neck, each linked to a wristband worn by one of the girls.
"From now on," Ye Qingxuan tugged her purple collar, "you're our shared cultivation tool."
Yan Hongling yanked the red chain. "Always on call~"
Lin Hanyi's blue collar gleamed coldly. "Try to run and you'll be an ice sculpture."
Bai Li's white collar was the deadliest. "Remove it... and you're castrated."
Tears streamed down Xiao Yang's face...