Chapter five:
My Wedding Anniversary
It was our wedding anniversary day, and I was buzzing with excitement, I had told my Boss, Erin, that I'd be closing on time to see my husband at Saint Paul's, where he works, I quickly wrapped my work up, I was eager , desperate and even to surprise Carl,
Yesterday, our entanglement had been unforgettable, we had promised each other to sort things out ,to open up, and to rebuild our trust.That conversation has lifted a weight off my shoulders.
I had picked out a small gift, nothing extravagant but something thoughtful, and a smile I couldn't wipe off my face. I couldn't wait to see him, to spend some quiet time together from work and from the world.
Immediately I got out from my long drive; I held my little gift bag closely as I made my way to Carl's office, my heels clicking rhythmically on the cold, sterile floor; as I turned the corner, I saw one of the nurses, Nurse Leila, a friendly face which I recognized.
" Is Carl around?", I asked, trying to keep my voice casual, but I couldn't hide the excitement.
" He is probably in the call room," she replied with a smile.
I knew exactly where that was; I had been to that room more times than I could count, when we were newlyweds, to bring him a coffee or just to say hello. It was the place where I knew I could always find him anytime he was not in his office, and I was ready to share this moment with him.
Still smiling, I headed down the familiar hallway, my steps quickening with anticipation, The call room door was slightly ajar, and without thinking, I pushed it open, expecting to find Carl, maybe tired from his shift but always so glad to see me, But instead of finding him alone, my world came crashing down.
There, tangled in white sheets and in each other's arms, were Carl and Dr. Eddie, one of our closest family friends.
Time froze.
My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn't move. I couldn't process what my eyes were seeing. The gift bag slipped from my fingers, falling to the floor with a soft thud, but I barely heard it. My heart was racing, my pulse pounding in my ears, as the weight of the moment crushed me.
Tears welled up in my eyes before spilling over, hot and fast, as I turned and bolted. I didn't think, I didn't stop. I just ran, my legs carrying me away from that room, away from the betrayal, away from the life I thought I had and a life of new beginnings
I had no idea where I was going. My mind was a whirlwind of disbelief, of anger, of hurt. All I knew was I needed to get away from him, from this, from everything.
Hours later, I found myself in a dimly lit bar. The neon signs outside flickered as I stepped through the door, the smell of stale beer and cheap whiskey hanging in the air. I didn't care. I needed to be anywhere but there.
The bartender glanced at me as I slid onto a barstool, my hands trembling as I wiped my tears, trying to pull myself together.
"Whiskey," I croaked, my voice thick with emotion.
The bartender raised an eyebrow but didn't ask questions. He poured the drink and slid it over to me. I picked it up, not caring that it was too strong, too bitter. I needed something to numb the ache in my chest.
I stared into the glass, my mind spinning. My hands shook, the cold of the glass grounding me as I tried to make sense of what had just happened. Carl and Eddie. How long has this been going on? How had I not seen it? How had I been so blind?
I knocked back the whiskey in one go, the burn not doing anything to dull the pain in my heart. The tears started again, falling silently as I fought to breathe through the suffocating weight of betrayal. My wedding anniversary was our third year, and this was how it ended.
How had we gotten here? How have I gotten here?
I didn't know what to do, where to go, or how to face him. The Carl I had known, the one who promised to never hurt me, the one who swore he would always be there, was gone. All I was left with was a stranger who had broken my trust in the worst way possible.
Another drink was placed in front of me, and I didn't ask for it. I just took it.
And for a brief, fleeting moment, I allowed myself to forget,
as the warmth of the whiskey settled into my stomach, spreading a dull haze over my thoughts. The noise of the bar, the clink of glasses, the murmur of conversations all felt so distant, so irrelevant. The world around me continued, people living their lives, oblivious to the chaos I was drowning in.
My mind kept replaying the scene in the call room, the sight of Carl's face, the way he looked when he saw me, the surprise that crossed his features before it melted into something else, something guarded. Eddie's presence beside him only amplified the sting, the realization that I wasn't just betrayed by my husband, but by someone I had trusted, someone who had been a part of our lives for so long.
I pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to face them, not wanting to process the magnitude of what had just happened. I reached for the second drink, taking a slow sip, letting the burn pull me back into the moment, into the numbness.
I could feel the ache in my chest, a deep, hollow emptiness that I knew would take time to fill if it ever would. But I couldn't think about that right now. I couldn't think about what I was going to do, how I was going to face him, or how I could ever trust him again.
The bartender eyed me carefully, his expression softening as he leaned over the counter. "You okay, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice low and gentle, as if he'd seen it all before.
I forced a smile, but I could feel how fake it was. "Just... just need a moment," I muttered, my voice rough from the tears I had cried.
He nodded, and I appreciated his quiet understanding. He didn't push, didn't try to pry. Just let me be.
I took another sip of my drink, trying to focus on the taste, on the burn, on anything that could distract me from the whirlwind inside my mind. But nothing worked. The image of Carl and Eddie in that bed kept haunting me. The lies, the secrecy, the thought that I had been so sure of our love was it all a lie? Had it been a lie from the start?
I heard the soft jingle of the bar door opening, followed by the shuffle of footsteps. I didn't look up, but the sound of those fo
otsteps grew closer and closer until they stopped beside me.