20+ early chapters on Pátreon.com/Herd99
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The air in the officer's meeting room had grown thick—not just with the ever-present haze of Smoker's cigars but with the weight of reports, plans, and strategies being laid out. Marines stood at attention, each taking their turn to present updates on Loguetown's security.
Kain, however, was barely keeping his eyes open.
From his seat at the far end of the table, he fought a losing battle against exhaustion. His head bobbed slightly with every dip into unconsciousness, only for him to jerk awake at the last second.
It was a delicate dance—one he was quite skilled at. If he slumped just enough, he could appear deep in thought rather than half-asleep.
Unfortunately, he had one major weakness.
Tashigi.
She was standing near Smoker, a neatly stacked pile of reports in her hands, her sharp gaze scanning the room. Kain knew that if she caught him nodding off, she'd take it upon herself to wake him.
Maybe if he stayed still enough, she'd focus on something else.
He adjusted his position, pretending to review a blank sheet of paper he'd pulled from a folder. It was a trick he'd perfected over time.
From a distance, it looked like he was studying something important. In reality, he was staring blankly at nothing.
A voice pulled him back to reality.
"Captain Smoker," Tashigi said, stepping forward. "Here's the latest bounty collection report. Lieutenant Kain was supposed to present it, but he's… indisposed."
Kain didn't move. Didn't react. If he stayed completely still, maybe—
Smoker's head turned slightly in his direction.
Kain felt the weight of his gaze. He knew that look. The 'you're a disgrace to the Marines' look. The 'how do you even hold the rank of lieutenant' look. The 'I could throw you through a wall if I wanted to' look.
Not that Smoker had ever actually said any of those things outright. But the sentiment was always there.
Still, Kain wasn't about to dig his own grave.
Better to stay silent. Let Tashigi handle it.
"Figures," Smoker muttered, shaking his head. "Alright, Tashigi, go ahead."
Kain let out a silent breath of relief as she launched into the report, listing off names, bounties, and recent captures.
The details blurred together—pirate crews that had been apprehended, those still at large, sightings near the Grand Line. Standard stuff.
He could half-listen to this and—
[100 BPS Reedemed]
[1 Free Nap Pass bought. Price increased from 100 BPS to 200 BPS]
[Enjoy your unearned rest, protagonist!]
'Oh shut up.'
A warm, soothing sensation settled over Kain, like an invisible blanket wrapping around him. His eyelids grew impossibly heavy, his muscles relaxed, and before he could resist, his head hit the table with a quiet thud.
Sleep took him instantly.
In the depths of his mind, Kain drifted.
A memory surfaced—one from his old life, before the system, before One Piece.
He was back in his tiny apartment, sprawled out on his couch, a half-empty energy drink resting on his stomach. The glow of his laptop screen illuminated the cluttered coffee table, stacks of manga volumes scattered around.
A familiar scene. A comfortable one.
He could hear the faint hum of the city outside, the occasional honk of a car. The world was simple here. No dangerous pirate-hunting. No overpowered system forcing him into ridiculous challenges. Just him, his couch, and whatever series he was binge-watching at the time.
It felt… nice.
Then, as always, the dream twisted.
The sky outside darkened. The hum of the city grew distant.
Lightning crackled. A deep voice rumbled.
"You dare mock the sacred ways of shonen?!"
Kain's stomach dropped.
No. Not this again.
He tried to hold onto the dream, to push back against the nightmare, to stay in that quiet moment of peace.
But reality always won.
"Aahhh!"
Kain screamed, eyes cracking open.
The room was dark. Silent.
He blinked blearily, rubbing his face as he sat up. The meeting table was empty, the chairs abandoned. The maps and reports were gone.
"…Did they seriously leave me here?" he muttered, voice rough from sleep.
He pushed himself to his feet, stretching with a yawn. His nap had been deep, but not exactly restful. He still felt the weight of exhaustion clinging to him, like a heavy fog.
Then, he noticed something on the table.
A small, neatly folded note.
He picked it up, flipping it open.
"Lieutenant Kain,
We didn't want to wake you. Captain Smoker said to let you sleep, but he also said to tell you that you owe him a rematch.
-Tashigi."
Kain groaned, dragging a hand down his face.
A rematch? Absolutely not.
As he shoved the note into his pocket, the system chimed again.
[System Notification: New Quest Available!]
His stomach twisted. "Oh, come on."
The glowing text appeared before him.
[Quest: Prove Yourself to Your Rival!]
- Objective: Defeat Smoker in a rematch.
- Reward: 300 BSP.
- Failure Penalty: Your hair turns bright pink for a week.]
Kain froze.
Pink. Pink?
His fingers instinctively shot to his hair, gripping a few strands like he could somehow protect them from the system's nonsense.
His mind raced. Maybe he could avoid Smoker indefinitely? Maybe if he hid in his office, the system would forget about this?
Then again…
His last avoidance strategy had resulted in a penalty of spontaneous singing upon failure.
He weighed his options.
Fight Smoker? Possibly die.
Dodge the challenge? Risk pink hair.
"…I hate this system," he muttered under his breath.
Still, as he walked down the dimly lit hallway, another thought crept in—one he wasn't entirely comfortable acknowledging.
If the system had to torment him, maybe… just maybe… he could find a way to use it to his advantage.
If he had to suffer, he might as well profit from it.
Or at the very least, score more nap passes.
Kain's footsteps echoed softly down the dimly lit hallway.
It was late—too late. The Loguetown Marine base had settled into a quiet lull, the usual bustle of officers and recruits replaced by stillness. A few lanterns flickered along the walls, casting long shadows that stretched across the floor.
He rubbed his temples, still groggy from his unexpected nap. His brain was caught between the lingering haze of sleep and the growing dread that came with the system's latest quest.
A rematch with Smoker.
Kain had seen what the man could do during basic marine training. He'd felt what the man could do. The last time they sparred, Smoker had barely tried, yet Kain had still ended up sprawled out on the floor, gasping for air while his entire body felt like it had been run over by a Sea Train.
And now, thanks to this ridiculous system, he was expected to fight him again?
[Objective: Defeat Smoker in a rematch.]
Yeah. No. That wasn't happening.
Kain sighed, shoving his hands into his coat pockets as he trudged toward his quarters. The base's quiet was a small comfort. Normally, someone would be dragging him into some new responsibility or paperwork. But at this hour, he was blissfully free from—
"Lieutenant Kain!"
He flinched. Damn it.
Tashigi's voice rang through the corridor, crisp and filled with far too much energy for this time of night. He turned his head just enough to see her jogging toward him, her glasses catching the lantern light.
"Lieutenant," she said again, slowing as she approached. She held a fresh stack of paperwork in her arms, because of course she did.
Kain fought the urge to groan. "Tashigi," he greeted flatly.
She frowned at him. "You missed most of the meeting."
"I was there for most of it," he corrected. "I just… didn't participate."
Her frown deepened.
"Captain Smoker let you sleep, but you do realize he expects that rematch tomorrow, right?" she pressed, adjusting the papers in her arms. "You should at least try to prepare."
Kain rolled his eyes. "Right, let me just train so I can lose slightly less badly than last time."
Tashigi exhaled sharply, clearly unimpressed with his attitude. "You're not a bad fighter, Sir," she said. "You just don't apply yourself."
"I apply myself to many things," Kain countered. "Napping, for example. Slipping out of pointless paperwork. Avoiding fights I can't win—"
"—And getting hit by Smoker," she finished, unimpressed. "Repeatedly."
Kain shrugged. "You say that like I enjoy it."
Tashigi sighed, clearly debating whether this conversation was worth the effort. In the end, she didn't press further. Instead, she held out one of the documents from her pile.
"At least take your reports," she said. "You're still expected to submit them in the morning."
Kain took the papers with a weary sigh. "Great. More homework."
Tashigi gave him a look. "You're a Marine officer, not a student."
"Feels the same to me."
She shook her head. "Goodnight, Lieutenant Kain."
"Night, Tashigi."
She walked off, her boots clicking against the floor.
Kain stared down at the papers in his hands, contemplating throwing them out a window before ultimately tucking them under his arm. Future Kain's problem.
For now, sleep.
Kain finally reached his quarters, kicking the door shut behind him with a relieved sigh.
His room was modest—bed, desk, a small bookshelf filled with reports he pretended to read. The only real luxury was the window, which overlooked Loguetown's quiet streets.
He tossed the papers onto his desk, yawned, and collapsed onto his bed without bothering to remove his coat. Sleep was already pulling at him. Just a few seconds more and—
[System Notification: You Have an Unread Challenge!]
Kain groaned into his pillow. "Go away."
The system, of course, did not go away.
The notification hovered persistently in his vision, glowing faintly in the dark.
Sighing, he waved a hand, opening the prompt.
[Challenge: Face Your Fears!]
- Objective: Confront your upcoming rematch with Smoker head-on.
- Reward: +100 BSP, increased endurance for the next fight.
- Failure Penalty: A motivational speech will be forcibly delivered from your mouth in front of the entire base.
Kain bolted upright.
Oh, hell no.
The last time the system had forced him to say something, he'd accidentally inspired an entire squad of recruits into training even harder. A direct violation of his 10 Lazy commandments.
He wasn't making that mistake again.
…But did that mean he actually had to prepare for this fight? The System had to be really invested in this rematch.
Kain rubbed his temples, weighing his options.
Option A: Ignore the challenge, get possessed by the system, and deliver some over-the-top anime protagonist speech to the entire base.
Option B: At least pretend to train and maybe survive Smoker for an extra three seconds. The 100 BPS were also welcome.
He groaned. "Stupid system. Stupid Smoker. Stupid everything."
Still grumbling, he dragged himself out of bed.
If he was going to be forced into this nonsense, he might as well get something out of it.
And by something, he meant at least a few more nap passes.