When it comes to Dungeon & Stone, I'm a total expert.
Where monsters appear, what behaviors they have, their weaknesses—I can rattle them off without even thinking.
Based on that, I made my final judgment.
If I combined the physical body of a barbarian with my knowledge, I'd be able to survive just fine in the labyrinth.
At least, that's what I truly believed back then.
"Ha…"
The moment I entered the labyrinth, everything went pitch black.
Not a metaphor about the future—literally nothing was visible. I probably wouldn't even notice if someone put a blindfold on me right now.
Wouldn't make any difference anyway.
"Fuck."
It felt like I'd been smacked hard in the back of the head.
Since the barbarians only brought a single weapon each, I hadn't questioned it either.
Normally, you don't need a torch on the first floor.
The crystals embedded in the walls act as natural light sources.
Sure, there are dark zones on the first floor, but aside from the outermost edge that connects to the second floor, they're very limited—
'Wait… don't tell me I landed there?'
I quickly formed a hypothesis.
The starting point when entering the labyrinth is random.
But "random" doesn't usually mean getting dumped into a place like this. Even if you start on the outskirts, there's always at least one glowing crystal nearby.
But this isn't just a game world I'm looking at through a monitor anymore.
What if all those conveniences were just something the developers gave players as a kindness?
What if, in reality, there are miserable scenarios where you spawn straight into a dark zone?
That would explain my current situation.
And honestly, it has to be that.
Because if the entire first floor is like this, there's no way I'm surviving even a day.
"Whew…"
Still, sorting things out calmed me down a bit.
Thankfully, my eyes had started to adjust to the darkness—it wasn't great, but better than before. At least I could vaguely make out outlines now.
That's good enough. Not exactly a bite-your-tongue-and-die level of despair.
First things first: check the basics.
Now that I was finally alone—
"Status window. Equipment window. Character info. Stats. Inventory. Log check—ah, damn it."
As expected, none of it works.
Well, I didn't exactly have high hopes anyway.
"Let's move."
Shield in one hand, tracing the wall with the other, I crept forward.
Maybe a little faster than crawling.
Or… no. Crawling might actually be faster. But I couldn't speed up.
It's too dangerous—
"GAAAH!"
Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my ankle.
It was the kind of pain I'd never felt before—my nerves screamed like they were going haywire. But even in that chaos, I managed to figure out what happened.
What the hell did I do wrong?
Even without a battle log, I knew immediately.
"You've stepped on a goblin trap."
Fuck. I stepped on a trap.
Where did I mess up?
I don't even need to think—it comes to me instantly.
The shield gave me psychological comfort.
But in return, it blocked a huge chunk of my field of vision.
If I'd strapped it to my belt and focused solely on observing, I might've spotted the trap.
What's the point of carrying a shield if I can't see anything anyway?
I should've prioritized practicality over peace of mind.
Goddamn it.
"Ghhh… hhh…"
My mind went blank.
I wanted to scream my lungs out.
But I held it in with everything I had.
Screaming wasn't going to improve the situation.
If anything, it'd just make things worse—and I knew that for sure.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
My heart pounded like it was broken, racing out of control.
"Huff, huff, huff…"
I bit my lip and forced myself to breathe evenly.
Now's not the time to dwell on how much pain I'm in.
There's only one type of monster that uses traps on the first floor.
Goblins.
And if that's the case, then one is definitely nearby.
"…"
Instinctively, I raised my shield to cover my head.
Then I held my breath completely, sharpening my hearing.
There was no sound at all. As if time itself had frozen.
…Could it be that nothing's there?
I don't know.
Maybe I just got lucky. Maybe it stepped away for a moment. Even goblins have to take a shit, right?
'Yeah right. Like you really believe that, idiot.'
I neatly folded the little shred of hope that tried to crawl out and tossed it out of my head.
For two reasons:
One—being optimistic and being naive are not the same thing.
Two—what I need most right now is pessimism.
"…"
If I can't be sure, then assume the worst.
The goblin heard my scream.
It's hiding in the dark, waiting for me to weaken.
The reason I haven't heard anything… is because of that.
Because that's how it worked in the game, too.
Where there were traps, there were always goblins nearby.
"Phew…"
I slowly exhaled the breath I'd been holding.
Whatever happened, the environment was quiet enough that I should notice if anything tried to approach—so long as I stay alert.
For now, I need to take care of what I can control.
"…Hrrghh!"
After lowering myself, I pried the trap open with both hands and pulled my foot out. Then I tore off a piece of my pant leg, took off my shoe, and tightly wrapped the wound to stop the bleeding.
I decided to ditch the shredded shoe.
Honestly, calling it a "shoe" is a bit generous.
What I had on was closer to a pair of flip-flop sandals.
Damn barbarian bastards.
If they'd at least given me some leather boots, I wouldn't be half-crippled from just one trap…
'Shit, what the hell am I even thinking right now?'
The moment I realized how irrational I was being, my head cooled down.
Let's not make this any more pathetic.
No matter how much I curse those guys, it won't change the situation I'm in.
In the end, it's my own fault for not checking the ground properly.
So let's quit whining and assess my condition.
'Whew… this is seriously bad.'
I couldn't even feel my right foot anymore.
There was still a bit of heat there, but even that was fading fast.
"I know you're hiding, so come out."
I muttered quietly.
Still, not even a hint of movement came from the darkness.
So I slowly moved forward.
Step. Step.
My leg was messed up, but surprisingly the pain wasn't too bad. Probably thanks to the paralytic poison…
Whether that's a good thing or not, I'm not sure.
"Come out, you bastard."
I kept walking, not hesitating to hurl insults.
Time wasn't on my side.
If I had to fight, the sooner the better.
The injury was one thing, but there was also the chance the goblin was waiting for reinforcements.
"Not coming out?"
Of course, this could all be in my head. There might not be a goblin at all.
In that case, I'd just be some dumbass who stepped on a trap and started putting on a whole dramatic show for no reason.
But who cares?
Even if that's the case, I'd rather be a dumbass who survives.
"Fine, just stay there. I'm leaving."
I picked up the pace.
It was barely faster than crawling, but to me it felt like a full sprint in a marathon.
Step by step.
As I forced myself to walk, the pain in my right foot started throbbing.
"Tch… haah, haah…"
It's one of two things.
Either the poison's wearing off, or the pain's just gotten too intense for the poison to help anymore.
Now that I think about it, either way isn't so bad.
If the drug wore off, that's good.
And if I can feel pain, it means the nerves are still alive.
'Though why am I only thinking positively about this?'
I don't know. And I really don't care to.
I don't have the luxury to overthink.
"…Your mom's a goblin."
Words started spilling out of my mouth with no filter from my brain.
Maybe I've lost too much blood?
My head feels like it's been pickled in booze.
"Your dad's a goblin too."
Even as I kept talking trash, my feet didn't stop.
"So that makes you a goblin."
That's when I heard it for the first time.
It was a small sound, but with my senses on high alert, it rang loud in my ears.
Snap.
At last, the bastard revealed its presence.
"What, can't handle some mom jokes?"
Of course, I knew that wasn't really why it reacted.
It wasn't even really an insult…
The sound came from behind me.
More likely, the goblin had to move once I got too far away.
I picked up the pace again.
And its footsteps followed suit.
Snap—snap—snap—snap—
The now-clearer sound of its footsteps had a distinct texture to it.
Each step sounded like something sticky peeling off a smooth surface.
Even though I knew it was supposed to be less than a meter tall, it felt like a massive monster was chasing me.
To keep the fear at bay, I kept talking to it.
I'm a barbarian.
As long as I can lure it into close combat, there's no way I'm losing to some goblin.
"Don't just follow me—come at me, you little shit."
That's why I kept provoking it.
But it just maintained a steady distance, never closing the gap.
It didn't even seem interested in hiding anymore.
"Grrrrk, grrrk…!"
It was somewhere between howling and growling, but I could feel the meaning.
"Grururrrrk! Grrrk!"
It was laughing.
Delighted, watching its prey bleed and stagger toward death. It wanted me to hear that sound and be afraid.
…Smart little bastard.
Alright, time for a change of plans.
I stopped walking. Then, with a stumble, I collapsed to the ground.
Thud.
My forehead slammed into the rock, pain blooming like it was about to crack open—but I didn't make a sound.
From here on out, it's a game of endurance.
If the goblin thinks I've collapsed and comes in first, it's my win.
If I actually pass out before that… it's game over.
"Grrk?"
I decided to trust in this body of mine that dragged itself some 300 meters with a busted foot.
Snap.
Its footsteps slowly crept closer.
So slow, it made me want to yawn.
Even with its prey down just like it wanted, the bastard was still suspicious.
'Seriously, why the hell is this goblin so cautious?'
I couldn't help but curse.
In the game, goblins were bottom-tier mobs. Sure, they used poison and traps, but in a straight fight, they were weak as hell.
But the goblin I was facing now?
Snap.
Not something you could laugh off.
Now I understood why village NPCs always warned about how cunning goblins were.
Honestly, they're way smarter than those barbarian thugs.
Snap.
Its footsteps stopped—right in that sweet spot between 5 and 10 meters away.
Why?
Just as I was wondering—
Thunk.Roll...
Something hit my shoulder and rolled off.
Wait… did that little shit just throw a rock at me?
'…No way it's gonna keep pelting me until I'm a bloody pulp, right?'
"Grurrrrk! Grrrk!"
To my relief, it howled in joy.
Guess my lack of reaction convinced it I was dead.
Snap—snap—snap—snap—
Its footsteps sped up.
I could practically feel how excited it was as it rushed in.
I calmed my nerves and measured the distance by sound. The moment I judged it had entered striking range—
"You little shit!"
I sprang up and lunged at it.
I figured reaching with my hand would be faster and have more range than trying to grab my shield first.
But I knew right away something went wrong.
For two reasons.
First, it was just barely one step too far.
Second, the goblin moved way quicker than I'd expected.
"Grrk!"
It jerked back, twisting its body away.
I couldn't see it, but I could feel it—that's exactly what it did.
I knew, instinctively, I'd missed.
Damn it. Now what?
As I started planning my next move, something strange happened—my body moved on its own.
"…?"
It was a bizarre sensation.
Still blind in the dark.
But somehow, I just knew where the goblin had dodged to.
And before my brain could even process it, my hand had already changed course, tracking toward it.
"Grrk?!"
Then—I felt it.
Something caught in my grip.
Maybe a wrist, an ankle, or its neck. Didn't matter.
"RAAAAAHHHH!"
I let out a primal scream and slammed it into the ground. CRACK! Something broke.
But I couldn't let up.
I climbed on top of it immediately.
"Gr—grrk!"
Now the tables had turned.
"I'm on top, you're on the bottom, you little shit!"
Like a lunatic, I smashed my head down toward its face.
Sometimes I missed and hit the ground, but I was so pumped up I barely noticed.
This barbarian body was even tougher than I'd thought.
My fists didn't hurt—the stone floor started breaking instead.
"..."
Before long, the goblin's movements stopped.
And then—
Swaaahhhhh—!
Dust scattered into the air.
Strangely, it was glowing dust.
I stopped my fist.
At some point, the goblin's body beneath me had started breaking apart—disintegrating into fine, sparkling fragments.
I mean, seriously. I was dumbfounded.
"What the hell, this part's the same too?"
Can we please just pick one?
Either this is a game, or it's just a reality that resembles one.
How am I supposed to keep up when it keeps switching tones like this?
[Goblin defeated. EXP +1]
Right after, the goblin's body vanished without a trace.
Feeling oddly empty, I picked up a small stone left on the ground.
[Acquired Grade 9 Mana Stone]
It wasn't strong, but it gave off a faint glow.
A mana stone—the in-game currency from Dungeon & Stone.
How much was this worth again? The memory surfaced.
"One slice of bread."
That was the average value of the mana stones goblins dropped in the game.
I couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"Khuhuhu…"
All that hell… for this?
The storm of thoughts in my head suddenly cleared.
Kind of like how you feel weirdly better after an ugly cry.
"Khuh… kuhuhuhu…"
There's a dungeon. There are monsters.
When they die, they drop loot and disappear.
And outside, in the cities, real non-human races live and coexist.
No doubt about it—this is that kind of world.
But...
There won't be any more confusion now.