"I love you."
With Sloth's final words to Rem, the light began increasing once again, blinding everyone in the theater, which forced everyone to face away and close their eyes. Once the light began fading away, the cast looked again, and he was no longer there. No trace of him was left behind other than the memory of him.
Rem was left standing, completely unresponsive, with a surprised face. Those were the words she always wanted to hear from Subaru, the man who saved her and remembered her. His beautiful hair, smooth face, and lovely voice were enough for Rem, but when she heard those words that came from him, her mind went into a frenzy and couldn't hear anything that was being said around her.
"Sister? Are you okay?" Ram asked, standing up and slowly walking towards her blue-haired sister. Ram had a face of cluelessness, as she expected nothing bad to happen.
As Ram was a few steps away from her sister, Rem started losing consciousness. Now falling on her back, Ram quickly spotted her, worried about what caused this to make her sister blackout.
"Sister!" "Rem-san!" "Rem-rin!" Ram, Crusch, and Emilia all shouted in worry for the maid, speeding next to the limb blue-haired demon. The others only looked in worry as they realized they couldn't do much when they didn't have their powers. Felix was the only one who went, as he still had plenty of experience in healing, even without his magic.
He checked her breathing, heartbeat, and everything else he could think of, but he couldn't figure out why she just fell like that.
She looked exactly like she was back in her coma, but she was breathing and everyone still remembered her, so this was just a normal blackout. But why? They tried everything to wake her up, shaking her, yelling her name, but nothing worked.
"WARDEN, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER!?" Ram demanded an answer from the voice.
Chill out, it's nothing bad, she only lost consciousness due to... Subaru's words. She'll wake up in a few seconds, no worries.
Julius, Garfiel, and Otto chuckled in surprise as someone as foolish and reckless as he could have such a big of an impact on someone like Rem. They all knew how much Rem loved Subaru, but this was even bigger.
Even Al laughed a bit but quickly stopped himself as he saw how Priscilla started glaring at him, looking like she wanted to punish him any second now.
"Barusu…" Ram fiercely stared at the sleeping boy, promising herself to kill him as soon as he woke up. Right after she gave him a big hug, of course...
With that being said, I need a few minutes before I can send the next Subaru here. So you're free to do whatever you want for now.
The cast nodded. A minor break to discuss what happened would indeed be good for everyone.
"So… that was quite interesting." Julius started the conversation, pulling his hair out of his face.
"Indeed, I- we didn't learn much, but I am sure we will have more opportunities with the other Subarus." Anastasia responded, looking at the ceiling.
Julius agreed with her. He wasn't much of a knowledge glutton as Anastasia was, but he has grown a little greedy himself as well over the 7 seven years that they've known each other.
"So what did you think about that, my lady?" Reinhard asked, looking at Felt, who just kept staring at the floor, lost in thought.
"O- Oh. I don't know what to say. It's kind of obvious that I prefer my big bro way more than him. I hate him for leaving big sis to die, but I get why he did what he did."
"Hm, I see." Reinhard partly blamed himself. He could've easily helped his friend back then. Maybe if he was there, their Subaru wouldn't be as broken as he is and Sloth Subaru wouldn't have run away that day.
In the front part of the theater, there was the rest of the crew discussing their thoughts.
"That wasn't so bad as the warden made it sound like." Frederica thought out loud.
"Yeah, I guess so, but remember the warden said that we would first see the most innocent and then proceed to the "evil" ones." Crusch said.
"So 's just gonna get worse from here?" Garfiel worryingly asked.
"Hopefully not." Wilhelm answered. He did not want to see the person he respected so much, the person he considered his grandson, be evil in any sort of way. But in reality, he knew it would get worse from here.
Rem began waking up from her "sleep". Confused about what happened, she looked around the room to see people scattered around everywhere, mostly around her. She then noticed how she was being held.
"Oh, it must be Subaru-kun holding me closely, It feels so nice…" She smiled, thinking how Subaru's face looked and how his long hair looked on the other version of him. She slowly looked up, thinking that she would see Subaru but…
"Sister, you're finally awake." Ram innocently said, glad that her sister was awake.
Rem's horny— grateful expression switched to one of surprise and dread as soon as she saw her sister and not Subaru.
"Sister, what's wrong?" Ram asked as she saw Rem's face.
"nothing…" Rem's face turned to a pouty one.
Rem was happy that she had the chance to talk with a Subaru that loved her more than the world, so much in fact that they got married and had children. The last words he spoke to her totally blew her mind.
But now he was no longer there. The Subaru they all knew only loved Emilia now. He might care for Rem, save her, comfort her, but he doesn't love her anymore, she thought. In the cast, everyone had at least one person for themselves. But Rem? She had no one. And when she did, it was stolen from her. The person who said he loved her was gone now, spending time with the other version of her who was smart enough to take his hand.
Roswaal was left alone to his thoughts. He had grown to respect Subaru for winning against him, respected him even more for seeing how much he had suffered for everyone. Previously, he would have thought that Subaru would have been an amazing "partner" for him to succeed in his goal, but now his guilt blinded all of his goals to resurrect his teacher.
"I reaaaaally didn't like that Subaru at all." Emilia said.
It was pretty obvious how jealous Emilia really was from Sloth Baru. Before coming here, Emilia might have been a little flirty here and there with Subaru, and with time, she would probably love him as he loved her. But after the viewings, you could say she was a bit obsessive over him.
"Th' princess 's jealous!" Garfiel laughed out loud.
"N- No, I'm not!" Emilia's face only reddened in embarrassment, as she didn't know what to say.
"GARF!" Frederica took a hold of her little brother and began shaking him violently with her beast-like strength.
As everyone was focused on Garfiel being abused by his older sister, Petra took advantage of the situation and quickly sneaked to Emilia's seat, which was next to Subaru.
Beatrice, who was on Subaru's lap, noticed Petra's scheme and just sighed, as she couldn't be bothered with it. At least she wouldn't crush his hand, she thought. Petra only smiled evilly, like she was the queen of the world while she hugged Subaru.
But Petra's plan wouldn't last long as a silver-haired half-elf noticed her and stared at her as furiously as she could.
Petra's mood dropped, and she slowly stood up to go to her seat. Petra had to obey her. After all, she was her maid.
"I doooooo~ wonder which of our Subaru's we're going to meet next." Roswaal annoyingly voiced out his question.
"That does bring the question up. Who's the most likely to be next?" Anastasia thought out loud.
"Well, gluttony is obviously going to be last as Subaru would never kill anyone." Julius made the most logical decision as it only made sense due to how the if stories were presented to them.
Everyone else nodded. Subaru is many things, a hero… yes. A liar… yes, but only when it came to his mental situation. But a murderer? Not Subaru.
"I bet Pride is going to be a big hero like our Subaru is!" Petra innocently speculated. I mean Subaru was pretty prideful anyway, so how much could this one differ from theirs?
They all hoped this would be true.
"Greed sounds interesting, if I may say so." Reinhard announced his thoughts.
Everyone's gaze turned to Beatrice, who was looking at the floor, thinking about her mother.
Everyone knew what the contract would've brought because of the viewings, but no one knew how bad it would actually be.
"What about wrath? Maybe he became a merchant like me?" Otto gave his prediction. He bet that they would've been amazing merchants together.
"Hmph! That doesn't make the slightest sense. Why would it be called wrath then you mongrel..." Priscilla said the obvious in her own annoying and beautiful way.
Frederica instantly snapped at Priscilla. Staring daggers into Priscilla's eyes.
"Priscilla-sama, I must ask you to refrain from making such comments."
The maid's reaction intrigued Priscilla. The perfect maid actually had a weak point. She greedily smiled and then hid her face with her fan, as she thought it was too unimportant for her to fire back.
Everyone stared at Frederica as they thought about how she truly cared for the people closest to her.
"Ah, I'm sorry…" Frederica bowed down and took a glance at Otto, who was clearly blushing. Otto immediately looked away as he saw Frederica's eyes looking at him.
A second later, a quiet tap was heard, and everyone's attention turned from Frederica to the voice.
All right, everything's ready now. Are you all ready to meet the next Subaru?
Everyone quickly returned to their own seats as the voice talked.
"But wait, who's the next Subaru going to be?" Felt questioned the voice.
"Yeah tell us!" Mimi voiced out.
All right, all right. The next Subaru you're going to meet is... Greed.
Beatrice's head yanked upwards. She hated sloth enough because she wasn't in a contract with him there. But Subaru and her mother signing a contract? It sickened her even more.
Everyone had their expectations of what's to come, but no one knew for certain. All they could do was wait for the new guest to arrive.
Now… Let me introduce you all to Subaru Natsuki. The perfectionist.
The cast was confused by the name "perfectionist" but they didn't have time to think about it as once again the flash of light appeared out of nowhere, blinding everyone making some of the cast annoyed, especially Garfiel who was literally trying to punch the light.
The light faded, and a certain person appeared.
"Huh?"
Greed if reality
…
...
*yawn*
Subaru once again woke up on the same green couch that he preferred more than the bed.
Every time he woke up from his empty dream, he would feel a terrible headache. He at one point grew numb to most of the pain that he's already been through for how long he's been alive. How many years? He didn't know. How many deaths? He lost count… a very long time ago.
But the throbbing headache that he would always feel when he woke up, he would never get used to it. It would always be there. It was like a reminder of what pain felt like.
Lying on his back with his head up, Subaru blinked multiple times as his vision was blurry, trying his best to adjust to the world.
He tested out his voice. "Ah, aaaaaaaah." which seemed like a dullish voice, like always. He made sure his limbs were intact, thought about what he'll do today and the existence of his life.
He was still quite unsure if he had reached the morning. Well, he'll ask Echidna, she'll know. She knows everything.
Taking the thin towel he had for his couch and throwing it on the ground, not bothering to even pick it up. He slowly raised himself so that he was now sitting on the couch. He looked at the familiar room like there was nothing abnormal about it. Now coughing a bit, which he didn't care about, he stood up from the couch and went to the bathroom.
Washing his face, he looked up at his reflection. His soaked face was the same as ever, to Subaru at least because he was used to it. His face looked like he hadn't slept for 3 days. Dark eyes that revealed his tiredness, a face that looked like it was dead inside, which implied that he could fall over at any second.
Subaru clapped his face together, using all of his strength. He tried to force a smile with his fingers, but it looked weird. He bent his mouth into a terrible, crooked smile. He got frustrated and poured cold water on his face once again.
"Smile… You gotta smile. Smile for them. YOU HAVE TO!"
Disappointed and angry at himself, he punched the mirror with full force, shattering it in the process. He again poured water on his face and tried again.
"Okay… now keep it… like… this." Subaru had finally succeeded. His smile looked normal enough, so he would have to go with it for now.
He ignored the mirror's state for now, as it wouldn't matter either way after everything.
Subaru dressed in the ordinary clothes that he used to wear now. It suited him and it was quite fancy, or that's what Petra said at least. He didn't do this for Petra, mind you; he did it because he was obligated to have an appearance appropriate to his position. After all, it was the position Subaru himself wanted.
It was now time for his everyday visit to a certain someone.
Easily unbuttoning his shirt. There was a mysterious, sparkling black crystal attached by a thin chain around his neck. Squeezing the crystal in the palm of his hand, he closed his eyes, breathing slowly. Every other noise seemed to fade away. The crystal slowly began pulsing like it was a living thing.
The crystal stone's beat grew stronger and faster. Now its pulse overlapped with the pulse of Subaru's heartbeat until they both became equal. Realizing this, his consciousness was released from the yoke of his body and was invited to another area that could not, by any means, be real.
Figuring that he would now be in the castle of dreams, with Echidna waiting for him on the top of the hill with a cup of tea for him and her.
He slowly opened his eyes.
"Huh?"
The theater
In front of everyone was the embodiment of death. They all felt an odd aura coming from the strange man. No one could describe what the aura felt like but they all felt uneasy.
He wore the formal attire of a noble. Underneath his black jacket, he had a snug casual white shirt with its sleeves rolled up. His pants and leather shoes were also black, which completed his outfit.
Everyone noted the dark circles around his eyes, which were far worse than their Subaru's. But that wasn't the worst part. When closely looking at his eyes, or rather eye color. The brown color he normally had was almost gone. The brown color was replaced by a slightly grayish color, like he was dead.
Rem noted how his hair was the same as their Subaru. Well styled a little differently, but the same either way.
Besides all the casual differences between them. There was one big thing that their Subaru didn't have. The sparkling black crystal that resided on his chest with a thin chain around his neck.
"Why… am I here?" Subaru silently asked, with confusion on his face. He narrowed his eyes. He had never been to a theater before because he couldn't remember being to one as it had been so long.
Subaru noticed how they all were looking at him, basically examining everything about him, so he had to take the initiative. Putting a smile on his face, which he practiced this morning in front of his now broken mirror.
"Yoooo! What- what's going on?" Subaru said as normally as he could. He was nervous because this was completely new to him. Also, he was worried because Echidna had said nothing yet like she usually and annoyingly would.
He sounded completely normal to the cast. Like he didn't have the slightest worry in the world and was happy with his situation, maybe a little too happy for a situation like this.
As no one answered Subaru. He examined the cast members and firstly noticed the red-haired knight, Reinhard… with Felt by his side.
"Reinhard… What is Felt doing here, I thought that… She had left you?" Subaru scratched the back of his head.
"HUH, I left Rein? I- I wouldn't do that?" Felt and Reinhard looked at each other with confused faces. Even though Reinhard might be a bit annoying sometimes, he was still an amazing friend and knight.
Reinhard didn't know what he would do if his lady left him, he had devoted his life to Felt. It depressed Reinhard to think that he would just get left alone again.
"And Beatrice… You- you're out of your room…" Subaru slightly smiled at this. Usually, Beatrice would just stay in her library, sit in some corner and cry to herself. Every now and then she would fire back at him, telling him to shut the hell up or just plainly leave. So this was a big improvement.
"What?..." Beatrice was so confused by this that she dropped the usual mannerism that she would always say. She was out of her room? Did she stay in the forbidden library in this reality? She also noticed how Subaru didn't use the word Beako when addressing her.
"Natsuki-san, please listen to us." Otto suddenly said
"-Hk!" Subaru's face was a combination of confusion and sadness. Why did Otto, out of a sudden, come back after leaving him and the others? Subaru blamed himself for being such a failure, but still… Otto had no reason to come back.
"Why… are you back?"
"Eh? Why am I back? What do you mean?" Otto asked, obviously confused. Next to Otto was Garfiel who looked at Otto with sympathy.
"Exactly what I mean. I- I know I did something wrong, and I can't blame you for wanting to leave us, but why are you back all of sudden?"
Otto was disappointed in himself. He failed his friend, his brother, and his brother now blames himself. Of course, he might have had a reason to leave Subaru but despite that, he shouldn't leave someone when he needs help the most.
Subaru knew he wasn't going to get a response, so he turned his gaze towards the woman he loved the most and put up the fake smile again.
"Hehee… Emilia-tan, what's going on?"
Everyone noticed how fake the laugh sounded. It sounded like it didn't have the slightest ounce of happiness behind it.
Just as Emilia was about to respond to Subaru's question, Subaru himself noticed the minor change in Emilia and the one she was holding.
"Ehhh, h- how is your hair back to normal? And how are you holding... me?" Subaru was beyond confused at this point. Maybe he's finally going crazy after all the deaths if he isn't yet.
The "normal" part surprised Emilia. What did he mean by that? What could have happened to her hair in his reality for this Subaru to call her hair normal.
Subaru once again turned his gaze slightly to the right, where a blue-haired girl sat.
"R- Rem? You're awake?" Subaru wasn't believing this, this must be some sick vision of some kind probably being shown by Echidna. His Rem should be sleeping. He has been trying for so long to reverse the effects of gluttony, and out of nowhere, she's awake again?
Rem only awkwardly smiled and blinked quickly a few times, not daring to say anything.
"Okay, seriously, what the fuck is going on?... Echidna?... Is this some kind of joke!?" Subaru dropped his smile and held his crystal gently in his fist.
Beatrice's eyes widened as her mother's name was mentioned. Well, her creator's name now. After watching Arc 4, she saw how Echidna tried to fool Subaru, what Echidna did to her, how everything was only set up for her own enjoyment. She saw how insane her mother really was.
Everyone else in the cast had absolutely no respect for the witch after what they saw, so seeing how Subaru asked for her really felt wrong.
As Subaru didn't get an answer from his contractor, his stress grew.
"Echidna, answer me." Subaru tightened his grip on the crystal, trying to force an answer from the greedy witch. His breathing turned fast and panicky.
"E- Echidna!" Subaru looked at the cast with panic in his dead eyes. Why wasn't Echidna answering him? Had she broken their contract? Would she not help him anymore?
Most of the cast only looked at Subaru, as they didn't know what to say to him to get him to relax.
"Subaru, please listen to us, I suppose!" Beatrice yelled in an attempt to catch Subaru's attention.
"B- Beatrice?"
"Grgh-, that name coming from you still sounds weird, in fact."
"Look Natsuki-san. We aren't exactly your… How would I put this… Your friends." Julius explained.
"What... Do you mean?"
"We are from a reality where you didn't take… Echidna's… hand." Julius continued, contemplating the Echidna part.
Subaru dropped his smile. He didn't need to pretend anymore. Even if this ended badly, he could always kill himself. He will save them, he will make this perfect, eventually.
Even so, Subaru didn't seem to care at all. His reaction wasn't even close to Sloth's reaction. He had lived for too long to suddenly care for something new. The only thing he cared about was saving his friends.
"And we've watched his whole journey if I might add." Reinhard said.
"Huh. And would you have any idea why she isn't answering?" Subaru asked as he was pointing at the crystal, which meant Echidna.
"I'm sorry, I know nothing about that…" Reinhard looked down as he blamed himself. He was sure that he was going to get a scolding from Felt for apologizing so easily, but he couldn't resist.
Subaru's mind was racing with thoughts. He was too dependent on Echidna, so he couldn't afford to lose her now.
"Don't worry Subaru, I'm sure it will aaaaaall be okay!" Emilia noticed how stressed he was, so she tried to calm him down.
Subaru looked up at Emilia and nodded softly. He looked at the original long hair, which still weirded him out.
Emilia noticed Subaru's "uneasiness" and was a little troubled by it.
"W- Why are you staring at me like that Subaru?" Emilia slightly blushed from Subaru's gaze on her.
"Oh, I'm sorry… It's just that… You cut your hair short, in my r- Reality." Subaru was still confused about the reality part, but he had to accept it for now.
Emilia was surprised by this, but also curious as to why. She gently caressed her own hair before asking.
"But why?"
"I really wish I knew…" Subaru looked at the ceiling. In his reality, he did ask Emilia multiple times as to why she cut her beautiful long hair. And the answer he always got was. "I don't know." No matter how many loops, no matter what he changed, the answer stayed the same.
"No matter that. Let me ask, was it worth it?" Out of the blue, the fiery-haired lady, Priscilla, interrupted with a smile.
"What do you mean, was it worth it?" Subaru was confused.
"Ugh, you worthless imbecile, making me repeat myself. Was the contract worth it, you dog?" Priscilla grew annoyed, but it didn't matter as she still found him interesting.
"Yes. Yes, it was worth it…"
"After all, I saved everyone, and I didn't let a single person die. I killed greed by myself and I even saved Pristella." Subaru looked at the cast with perhaps a little pride on his face.
"Wait, you 'saved' Priestilla? What happened in Pristella for it to need saving?" Felt worriedly asked, not caring the slightest for the greed part.
"The witch cult attacked." Subaru answered without commenting further.
"But we were going to the Water Gate City before coming here!" Otto announced.
"Hmm, seems like we are going to face some trouble." Ricardo thought.
"Doesn't matter! My amazin' self will beat 'em all int' a pulp!" Garfiel raised his chest. He was going to protect his camp, he will protect his captain. He will be their shield.
"But how did you defeat Greed?" Rem asked. Regulus Corneas and Ley Batenkaitos were the two insane people who ruined her life, so this was basically a relief for her.
"Oh, I simply made Elsa kill his wives, and I and Reinhard killed him after."
"ELSA!?" Many of the cast yelled at the same time.
"That bitch is supposed to be dead!" Felt said. She herself knew how dangerous Elsa was, and her staying dead was better for everyone.
Garfiel was growling. That bitch caused too much trouble for everyone, and HE killed her. She didn't deserve to live.
"You let ELSA live!?" Crusch asked furiously. The man she respected would not let a woman like that go on living freely.
Subaru only looked at her with an annoyed look.
"Well, Elsa is too good of an asset to just let her die. She's helped with countless things, and is currently looking for Gluttony… She's also the perfect way for me to kill myself…" Subaru blurted out the last part without thinking.
"Ki- Kill yourself? What-" Petra tried to ask but was quickly cut off.
"Doesn't matter, what happened with you guys, after I apparently didn't accept her contract?" Subaru looked at the Emilia camp.
"Mmmmm. Well, I finished the trials with your help, especially because you told me what a pain in the ass I was." Emilia smiled from the memory.
"While I was doing the trials, you went with Garfiel and Otto and saved everyone from the mansion which burned down."
Subaru was interested in the mansion burning down, but let it be for now.
"Garfiel fought with Elsa while you went to save Beatrice from the library."
"That's right!" Garfiel had a prideful expression. He wished he could've shown his captain how he bashed that bitch against the wall.
Beatrice, on the lap of Subaru, smiled at his dumb contractor. She remembered how he constantly ran back into the burning mansion for her. Saving her from 400+ years of self-isolation and giving her life new meaning. Her Subaru is her Subaru.
"After the trials, the sanctuary was freed and the r- rabbits... came and we all fought against them."
Everyone shivered a little at the mention of rabbits. That viewing was hell for them, nonetheless for Subaru, as he had to go through it.
"After that, you became my knight, and it's been a year now and everything has been normal so far."
"Eeeh he's your knight? Why am I not yet…" Subaru was a little jealous and saddened, as he himself hadn't ever gotten the chance to become Emilia's knight, but this Subaru had.
Emilia had a smug smile on her face. She was really proud of her knight.
"And… how many times… has he died?" Subaru turned his gaze to a certain sleeping knight. That was the question that most troubled Subaru, even before he came here.
The cast was troubled by this. No one really had the time to count how many times he died, as they were too focused on what's happening on the screen.
"Umm, wasn't it 10 times?" Emilia was completely unsure.
"N- mo- no! Hfe's dhied 22 times!" Mimi tried to yell, but she was too occupied with a burger inside of her mouth.
"No! It was 13!" Rem also answered.
"It's 17…" At the back of the theater, a clown announced.
The entire cast looked at Roswaal. Most of them were just annoyed because the disgusting clown talked.
"Well, of course, y' would know." Garfiel stared daggers into Roswaal.
"17 times…" Subaru thought to himself. He has died so many times that he doesn't even remember. Would it have been better if he didn't take her hand? No… He has to save them. It's necessary.
A few seconds went by with no one saying anything, so Otto asked what he was thinking about.
"How is the situation in our camp?"
Subaru sighed before answering.
"To be honest, it isn't good." Subaru looked to the side with melancholy in his eyes.
"Sure, we might be popular in the royal selection because of my accomplishments. But everyone is… damaged. And it's all because of me." Subaru's lip twitched, a tear fell from his eyes. Everything he did may have been necessary to save them, but he still wishes everyone would be better.
"How are we damaged?" Frederica asked with curiosity.
"Ahhh well for starters... Rem is still asleep." Subaru hated himself for being so weak. So many deaths and tries, but he still hasn't woken her up.
Rem had a displeased face. Saving her was truly impossible. How will she possibly wake up in their reality if this Subaru hadn't found a way to wake her up?
"I took the trials for Emilia-tan, which could explain why you seem so different from my Emilia." Subaru looked at Emilia with a regretful look.
"Subaru… In which way am I different?" The only thing she knew was that her other version apparently had short hair, but nothing else.
"You're not as sane as I remember you being." Subaru looked like he was disappointed in himself.
Emilia was confused. She wasn't "sane" anymore?
"You tend to… overreact, especially with things, including me.
"That doesn't sound so bad?" Julius thought out loud.
"A couple… loops ago you froze the whole mansion when you saw the scars on my neck."
Emilia was horrified. She wasn't entirely sure of how powerful she was, but she knew she could freeze the mansion if she wanted, but she wouldn't just do that without a good reason. She gently released her complete hold of Subaru and only held his hand in fear of being too obsessive.
Everyone's gaze turned to his throat only to confirm that there were, in fact, no scars laying on his neck.
"What... scars?" Anastasia asked in curiosity.
"Ummmmmm, Well if I remember correctly it was Beatrice who scratched my throat after I tried to get her to speak."
"What!? No! I wouldn't hurt Betty's Subaru!" Beatrice's eyes opened wide, her eyes watered quickly, and she didn't notice how she dropped her normal mannerism.
"No, no no please, it's not your fault! It's all mine..." Subaru noticed how sad she looked, so he tried to calm her down by putting the blame on himself.
Beatrice was confused by this. Why did she hate Subaru so much to go and hurt him, and why did he blame himself?
Subaru saw the confusion on Beatrice's face, so he continued.
"Beatrice… I forced you out of the library." Subaru had a displeased face as he regretted it the way he did it. "You always talked about 'that person' but after the Sanctuary, you slowly stopped talking at all."
Beatrice twisted her face as she didn't know what to say or think.
"Garfiel… Is angry all the time. Angry at everything, especially at me. I don't know why, and I don't know how to help him."
"Oi. Captn'. Please don't give up on mineself." Garfiel knew why he would have been so angry. And it must have been about not facing his past. But he knew his captain would not fail.
Subaru slightly nodded and also noticed how kinder and rational he was in comparison to his.
"Otto is no longer in the picture as he left us. And I do get why… Because I tried to do everything alone according to him." Subaru continued.
Otto once again didn't dare to look at anything except the ground, trying to hide from the world so that he wouldn't be blamed. He did get why he would've left him, especially because he tried to teach him not to do things on his own. But it still hurt him.
"Ram… you treat me with the utmost respect, but everything else is gone. You act like you don't know me anymore, that I am just another guest that has to be treated with respect. You don't even call me Barusu anymore."
Ram didn't know what to say. She was glad that she hadn't changed much, at least in a bad way. But why out of a sudden would she change the way she treated him?
"I guess it's due to Roswaal but whatever." Subaru glanced at Roswaal with disgust. He had to work with him because frankly, he didn't have any other choice.
Roswaal was curious. He wanted to hear more about this other him. But perhaps he shouldn't bother asking.
"And that's that. Everyone else hasn't changed."
The rest of the Emilia camp sighed in relief that nothing bad had happened to them.
A few seconds went by and Beatrice asked a question that she had to confirm.
"What are the conditions of your contract with... her, I suppose?" Beatrice asked. She was scared to say her creator's name, because of obvious reasons.
"With Echidna?"
Beatrice only nodded to affirm Subaru's question.
"I don't really remember but… I guess I die for her and she helps me with everything."
Beatrice was terrified, so she took a hold of their Subaru's hand and squeezed it tightly.
"You… die for her, I suppose?"
"Well, yeah…" Subaru slightly raised his arms with his palms facing the cast. "But I promise you, it's no big deal."
A couple of seconds went by, with no one having anything to say. They didn't even know how much time they had left with the current Subaru, but they were sure they didn't have much either way.
But Anastasia had one question she always wondered, how many times would Subaru have died because of his and Echidna's contract? She remembered how Echidna wanted to use/abuse his ability to get the best ending possible.
"So how many times have you… died?" Anastasia asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Anastasia! Don't just say that!" Emilia still didn't like the part about Subaru literally dying. She was still quite young and naive in the head, so who can blame her.
"I- I don't know." Subaru ignored Emilia and answered with a blank stare.
"What do you mean you don't knyow nya?" Felix asked with a shaky voice.
"I- Just don't remember… I lost count." Subaru turned his face to the side. He failed to protect them. They shouldn't know any of this. Only he was allowed to suffer.
Everyone's face turned from curiosity to worry. Death is a… big thing in life that couldn't be forgotten about. For Subaru, especially as he died multiple times and came back. But for this Subaru to say that he doesn't know...
132,215,623 times.
"huh?"
As the voice out of the sudden announced, the cast instantly looked at the screen, where the sound came from. Everyone thought that there must be some big mistake.
Beatrice's breath hitched. Had Echidna really made Subaru die that many times? The Echidna she knew wouldn't have done this to such a level.
"Oi, Stop jokin'! 'S not funny!" Garfiel yelled at the warden. He couldn't have failed that many times.
"Please stop with the jokes, warden-sama. Now is not the time…" Ram said, furious at the voice for telling such lies at a time like this. No one could handle that many deaths. It was impossible.
Roswaal's eyes immediately snapped wide open. The guilt of all the death's that Subaru had felt due to him was enough for him. But for him to die over 100 million times, he never wanted anything like that.
Emilia couldn't believe what she heard. Dying 100 million times for someone like her didn't make any sense. She held Subaru closer to her and promised that she would never let Subaru get to a point like that.
"Huh, that many. I honestly thought it was lower. That's a surprise." Subaru said to himself while looking at the ground.
Now, now. I am not joking. Even if it might seem absurd, I am still telling the truth.
Everyone's face turned to horror, even Priscilla was surprised by the revelation. Subaru himself said that it's not a big deal, well it was actually normal for him to neglect which he was actually quite good at, any "problems" including him.
"Is- That true, I suppose?" Beatrice asked with tears falling from her eyes.
"I guess so." Subaru looked straight into Beatrice's eyes. He hated himself for making them all cry like this, especially Beatrice.
Al was the only one who was slightly normal about the situation. He had felt pain and death before; he knew how much it hurt, but he simply didn't care. It still hurt him that his bro had to go through everything again and again, only to possibly fail again and start over.
"How… How is that possible?" Reinhard asked, with wide eyes. Why must his friend suffer so much?
"If you've died that many times, then how.. old are you…" Anastasia asked. With quick math, she thought that he must be older than their world.
"You expect me to know my age when I don't even know how many times I've died?" Subaru was a tiny bit annoyed by the question.
"How could you possibly handle that? Don't you feel or regret anything!?" Rem asked with tears coming out of her eyes.
"Haah, I regret so many things, but I need to do this." Subaru convinced himself, without changing his blank expression.
Everyone was disgusted, but not at Subaru. Echidna's contract only promised death for Subaru, and Echidna just went and tried to ruin his life completely only for her own enjoyment. They were lucky and grateful for Minerva, who intervened before Subaru took her hand and ruined his life.
Subaru saw how sad and disgusted everyone seemed. They have heard too much. He shouldn't let them suffer like this. He'll fix this and make them all safe.
...
...
"I am going to save you all no matter what." Subaru's face now turned to a determined one.
With that Subaru slowly put his right hand behind his back… Where he hid his knife.
"What are you doing?..." Felix asked worriedly. It looked like something terrible was about to happen.
The cast also picked up on Subaru's weird silence. They prepared themselves for something possibly bad.
Subaru didn't answer as he gripped the knife with a comfortable hold. He felt sorry for the person who was going to clean up his mess.
Subaru gripped the knife even harder. He wouldn't mess this up, as he was going to aim for the most lethal spot, which was his neck. He was a pro, after all. His arm tensed as he prepared himself mentally.
Julius, Garfiel, and Reinhard took a step forward. They were going to stop whatever Subaru was going to do. Julius wouldn't fail him again. Reinhard had to save his best friend. And Garfiel had to save his brother.
Subaru put on a small smile on his face. He quickly flicked his arm towards his neck, which caused the others to run towards him.
As the milliseconds went by, everyone's face had a horrified look on them. The little ones didn't have the time to look away, so they were forced to watch.
As Subaru's blade came closer to his neck, he closed his eyes, preparing for the end.
And finally, contact…
*GOUGH* *GOUGH*
Just as Subaru's blade was about to sink into his neck, the blade suddenly disappeared, it literally faded into thin air.
Instead of the blade coming into contact with his neck, it was replaced with his hard fist. Subaru couldn't breathe and was coughing like a sick man.
Julius, Reinhard, and Garfiel suddenly stopped in their tracks, confused and shocked about what happened.
My bad, but I can't allow that.
Subaru gritted his teeth out of anger at the voice.
The cast was horrified. They all remembered the episode where Subaru finally found Rem in her coma. Subaru hesitated to kill himself for a minute, but eventually did it because of wanting to save Rem.
But Greed didn't hesitate at all. He even seemed calm about it, like it was another day for him.
Emilia watched everything and began crying, slowly putting her face against Subaru's sleeve. She now sobbed freely, not daring to look at the monster in front of her who didn't value his life at all.
Crusch had wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. She couldn't believe what she saw. She saw how quickly he moved the knife and it scared her of how casually he did it.
"H- Heeeey guys, I- I- I was just J- Joking. Hahahaha" Subaru put the fake grin on his face and nervously talked, stumbling on every word.
"You disgust me." Priscilla announced from the back seats while fanning her face.
Julius slowly walked towards Subaru, which he picked on. Subaru said nothing, only looked at Julius with a dead smile.
*SLAP*
Subaru's head twisted to the right out of the sheer force of the slap. He casually turned his head back with a blank stare this time.
Everyone noticed how his cheek was painfully red, but it looked like he didn't care about it at all.
"Hm… Guess after dying 100 million times, a mere slap feels like nothing." Priscilla noted to herself.
Julius backed away slowly. He looked Subaru in his eyes with anger. He couldn't believe someone he wanted as his friend would just do that in front of all of them, in front of the children as well.
"How could you?" Julius said with spark.
"I'm sorry…" Subaru's face turned to the side to hide his face from them.
Subaru didn't know what to do. He couldn't die, he couldn't save them, he can't do anything, he's a failure. They all knew it, he knew it.
"Subaru."
Subaru slightly looked back to see a silver-haired girl standing up with tears and determination in her eyes.
"Emilia-tan?"
...
"Please."
"Value your life more."
Subaru was surprised. No one had ever told him those words. He was told everything else. Respect yourself, love yourself, put your trust in your friends. But no one had ever told him to value HIS life.
"I- I don't know if I can… Especially after everything."
"Yes, you can!" Emilia assured.
Subaru was still skeptical, but after glancing at the Emilia camp, who all had the same expression as Emilia, he made up his mind.
"Alright… I'll try. I promise to help you all." Subaru genuinely smiled after the longest time.
"Perhaps I shouldn't have taken her hand… I really regret that. I'm going to fix everything while trying to value my life. I promise you all." Subaru was determined to better his ways.
"Thank you, I suppose." Beatrice smiled. Which Subaru just answered to with a smile.
Excuse me, but… It's time.
Subaru saw how his skin was turning whiter. This was a new thing for him, so he was a little nervous about what was going to happen after this.
Emilia looked at Subaru with sympathy. She wished he could better his life after this and possibly break out of his and Echidna's contract. Even though it would be hard, she still had hope for him.
Beatrice was crying, but also glad. She was angry at her creator for fooling Subaru, but she was also angry at Subaru for being so foolish to take her hand without thinking twice.
Rem sympathized with Subaru. She knew how much he wanted to save everyone no matter what, but this was completely unhealthy.
Otto couldn't bring himself to look at him after Subaru told him that he had left him after the Sanctuary. He failed his brother, but he wouldn't fail him again.
Garfiel was confused. This Subaru failed as his captain, and he failed at being their shield. But he hopes that everything will be
Subaru, for the last time, looked at the entire cast. He didn't know what would happen now. But what he wished to do is to try to at least value his life. For them.
He closed his eyes to accept whatever would happen to him.
The white flash once again tried to burn everyone's eye, but they had already learned from the last two times, so they turned their heads and closed their eyes.
The white flash tuned down, so they all looked back to only find no one in front of them
Everyone relaxed as they wouldn't have to see Subaru once again try to kill himself.
"Well, that was something…" Julius said, still a little angry but hopeful for Subaru.
"Mmh, I can't believe how normal he seemed for someone who has lived for so long and died so many times…" Otto said while rubbing his forehead with his fingers.
"He's sick, bro. But am glad he's gonna try to fix himself." Garfiel responded to Otto, to which Otto just gave a small nod while looking at the ground.
"I hope Subaru-dono can better his ways." Wilhelm thought.
"Warden-sama, I must ask, but why did you first call him the perfectionist?" Crusch asked.
The reason I called this Subaru... The Perfectionist. Is because he quite literally tried to perfect everything.
The cast was confused by this. He didn't seem to be "perfecting" anything at all, so why would he call him that.
Let me explain.
He killed himself countless times to... get the perfect day, every single time. Even the slightest thing, the most unimportant thing, like what the weather would be like.
He killed himself for that.
The entire cast was shocked. Didn't he have the slightest of self-worth left? Many of the cast thought. They didn't expect him to use his 200 million deaths for something like the weather.
As he tried to perfect everything, or save everyone. Everyone else suffered. He went against all of your ideologies in order to save you, which in turn broke all of you...
They had already heard a tiny amount of how they were "damaged" according to Greed. But they wished to learn more.
Emilia is insane as she never took the trials and never got past her childhood trauma.
Emilia had wide eyes as she remembered the "kiss of death" episode. She feared how she didn't pay any attention to Subaru and his bloody situation. Only kissing him to try to prevent him from leaving her. She would never become like that, she promised herself.
Reinhard is depressed because Felt left him.
Reinhard's eye twitched twice, and he had a frown on his face.
"I will never leave you." Felt looked at Reinhard and took a hold of his hand, which Reinhard smiled at.
Garfiel is depressed as he never got past his mother's passing and his depression is turning into rage.
"Grgh-" Garfiel remembered how angry and stupid he was before he joined the Emilia camp, which was because of his captain, Subaru.
Rem's situation is still the same.
Ram looked at her sister with sympathy. Putting a hand on her shoulder, comforting her while she looked at the ground in depression.
Beatrice is broken as "that person" never came and the Forbidden Library was destroyed.
Beatrice put her hands to her face to hide the fact that she was crying.
As for Roswaal… You're happy as you never get humbled.
Roswaal huffed. Even if he was supposedly "happy" in that reality and how close he was to his goal than he is right now. It still wasn't right, breaking and using everyone to further his own goal. He really was "fucked up" in the head, as Garfiel said. The viewings had taught him how wrong he really was.
And finally Subaru… Even though his goal was to save you all, he still blames himself. He thinks he's a failure for all of your situations.
...
"He should have thought twice before taking her hand then…" Priscilla silently said while fanning her face.
"Well, I can see where he is coming from, but he is insane no matter what way you're looking at it." Crusch said.
"I get wanting to save everyone, but he went at it the wrong way, Nya." Felix gave his similar thoughts.
Everyone in the Emilia camp was drowning in self-hatred. They hated themselves for not being able to do more for him. They only hoped he would better his way and actually value himself more.
"So what now?" Otto muttered.
Now… Everyone go take a breather. Eat, drink, whatever. I need a few hours before I can send the next Subaru here.
"What's so different this time that it takes hours?" Otto wondered.
Let's just say…
The next Subaru you're going to meet. Isn't exactly himself, so I'm having a hard time "locating" him… But you'll see that for yourselves.
The entire cast was confused by this. What did the voice mean by not being exactly himself?
All they could do for now is wait for what's to come.