My life sucked. I thought things would be different if I was dead, but if you die an unnatural death like I did, you're doomed to haunt the place where you met your maker. I only remember the metallic taste in my mouth, gasping for air before everything went black around me. And before I knew it, I was floating above my body. I could watch the paramedics trying to resuscitate me, but to no avail. I succumbed to my injuries.
Before all this happened, I was a normal student at Ridgewood High School. I was a bit overweight, and that was reason enough for my classmates to pick on me. Every day I came to school with an uneasy feeling. I already knew what to expect: the classmates' laughter at my weight, my old clothes because my mother was a single parent and couldn't afford new clothes for me. And if that wasn't enough, it was probably my unwanted coming-out when they found out that I was also attracted to boys. This news of my bisexuality spread like wildfire at school and the hostility that had previously been directed at my weight and clothing spread to my sexuality.
Every day was hell. But maybe it was my ability to take it all and still keep going that allowed me to make the ultimate sacrifice that day. That day, I walked to school as usual. My mom couldn't afford a car to drive me. But that was okay. By the time I got there, the teasing had already started. I was greeted in class with "Hey fat boy, had too many chicken nuggets again today?" Shortly thereafter, the boys started laughing. I ignored it and sat down in the back row as usual. My eyes wandered over to Amanda. She was the most beautiful girl in school and she was in my class. I was in love with her, but I also knew that I wouldn't stand a chance with her. She didn't even look at me. I then took out my sketch pad. I loved to draw. Most of all, I liked to draw Amanda.
One of the guys, a football player named Jeff, noticed me looking at Amanda and came over to me. "Hey fat-ass, don't think that an ugly piece of shit like you has a chance with Amanda. Look at her again and I'll make you regret it," he said with a confident look on his face. I tried to ignore him and focus on my drawing. He snatched my sketchbook away and shouted across the class: "Hey, look what Raphael drew!" He showed it to the class. I begged him to give it back to me, but he refused. "Hey Amanda, you've got a secret admirer!" Jeff said, showing her my drawing.
At that moment, I wanted to sink into the ground. I was embarrassed that she now knew how I felt about her. Amanda looked at the drawing, turned to me and asked, "Did you draw this?" I just nodded and she came up to me, gave me my sketchbook back, smiled and said: "That turned out really well." Jeff's smile had meanwhile turned into a confused face. That was the best moment of my life. She had finally noticed me. Maybe something could have come of us. But that doesn't matter anymore. Because during the lunch break, everything would change forever.