After that night, I wasn't able to sleep at all. What kind of an idiot am I? This isn't some sort of "What If?" situation, it's a goddamn test. A test given by those sadistic bastards. The realization really did take me out.
I envy Lost: He has a loving family. Not everyone would want to take out their precious time to take care of someone out of obligation...
Or maybe family doesn't consider any of that.
I wouldn't know.
I told everyone I was just having a hard time and they supported me, provided me with comfort food.
Nera, my "sister", showed me to her friends and asked me to supervise. Maybe I always did have a sister complex, just no sister.
God I'm becoming more pessimistic day-by-day. Focus Dec, Focus..
I've a lead. After so gosh darn long, I think I found something! There's this book called "Sophisticated Set Theory", and I have never heard of this! Set theory is the F=ma of mathematics. Quite literally, it is mathematical literature. Maybe there could be some practical uses, but only time can tell.
If I get a feel for how functions actually work, I could intuitively blend in Set Theory and possibly overwhelm anyone!!
But why is this on top of the super dusty shelves of the Ophius Library...?
The library is decked out with incredible works from famous mathematicians. Including the man who fell from a tree onto an apple, and a man who he stole his work from. There is no security or any supervisors because at this time at least, the government wasn't as fucked up as it is right now..
There's even a lounge where I can just drink from this nice fountain.
Huh-
It's not there?
I could've sworn that shit was right next to the huge desks.
Never mind. I'm hallucinating more daily. I need some sleep. Learning Set theory drains my energy to another level.
I say my goodbyes to the librarian and walk home.
It's super inefficient though. I tried experimenting with this new language and found that it is absolutely horrible and a nightmare to work with, if I want to define a very small number. Although for enormous values, it somehow becomes the best possible option.
It's as if it was meant to describe numbers that are unimaginably large. Numbers that cannot be described by anything existing.
Awfully depressing to say the least, am I right?
>>
On the afternoon of July 12th, Seres Century 12th, The "Savant", Ari Oris has been killed by an unknown suspect. The rest of the family's whereabouts are unknown. Rest assured you will find them as soon as we can. You have our undoubted support.
"Hello to you too Mr. Crey. My dorm room isn't really that big so I'll just stand up."
"Atlas…"
Yeah, I know. My mom was always on the frontlines. I was meant to expect this. But-
You can't tell me to stay quiet while knowing that my mother is dead. No, murdered.
Atlas you know you cannot do anything about this. If they killed her, me going for revenge is absolutely idiotic.
" How was she killed..?"
Mr. Crey takes a deep breath.
"Beheaded."
Oh…
Stay strong.
Stay strong.
Oh fuck it.
" I want to drop out right this instant. Mr. Crey- please teach me everything you know."
I can see why he's shocked. I've been thinking about this for weeks. I need to be in fresh waters- not some place where I can feel comfortable. My mother, would've slapped me behind my head and laughed in pride.
" Atlas, you're only in your first year. You know how much you're asking for? "
"My mother- your captain, lead the Real Set for years. You're her right hand. That's what I'm asking for."
My potential speaks for itself. The graph of Ln(x) can go there..
I could reach that stage…
"Fine, but you really need to brace yourself. I will not do anything related to theory. Everything you need to learn will be through repeated sparing with no holding back."
This is what he would've done.
"I'll be in your care then, Master Crey."
Isn't that right?
December?
December?
There is no need to be alarmed. They weren't your family anyway.
>>
For goodness sake December. You've spent 2 weeks with them. Don't tell me you've started to actually believe they're your family.
"I know.."
You fucking idiot. You aren't Defined, you have no fancy-shmancy brain disorder that makes you special.
"I know…."
Your parents probably died because of how pathetic of a failure you are.
"No… thats not it.."
Then take a good look infront of you…
What do you see?
It's Lost's house.
His family are the one who disappeared.
Why do you feel depressed?
Those tears..
Shouldn't they be Lost's?
Those howls of sadness that fade away into the silence of the night. Shouldn't they be his?
Poor December.
Shut up.
You know, even they didn't like you.
Your "parents".
"Just shut up…"
You know the way they look at you ever since you've come here.
"Shut the fuck up."
Heet. Didn't she call Atlas cute a few months back?
Don't fucking go there..
You never seem to notice how Atlas looks at her. Never seem to notice how they usually go out together to get things for you lot.
Just stop…
Please…
It's not like that…
You want this to end don't you?
I have no answer. The hesitation disgusted me.
Walk.
Walk forward.
Why isn't my body listening to me?
No wait.
Please no.
I hear the sound of water rushing.
I smell the saltiness.
Is this River Ophious..?
But-
"Heyyyyy!!!"
What is this?
"Brother, lookit this awesome river!!!"
"Why is this playing in my hea"-
>>
" Nera, watch yourself, there are sharp rocks here. "
" Brother, This place is my favourite!!!!"
"I know Nera. After this let's go to the library. I found your favourite story book."
Ah that's right. I took her to this place.
This isn't some coincidence.
Memories don't just randomly enter our minds.
Think you idiot, think…
What else happened here…?
She tripped.
Yeah on this rock, she tripped.
Wait…
There is no rock.
Wait.
I should be approaching this rock about now.
No…
It's been deleted.
My vision suddenly cleared up.
It wasn't dark but…
Everything has been deleted.
Vanished.
It looks like darkness incarnate.
Everything has been-
"Set to 0.."
UGH THE PAIN…
" I didn't expect you to catch on this quick. Not many realize it. "
What is this..
Someone isn't talking but, I feel information flowing inside my head.
I can't hold back my puke. This is too much to handle.
My head is spinning. I can't balance myself.
"Let's play a game shall we?"
"What game?"
"Let's play with numbers. Ooooh I love numbers…"
Who is this…?
No that's not the right question.
What is this?
"Whoever chooses the number wins! But there should be a punishment too.. How about, the loser gets their minds stuck in an infinite loop with nothing. Absolutely nothing!"
Its laugh haunts me. I feel like every single one of my veins is repeatedly stabbed with glass every millisecond.
"Fine."
The darkness clears up a bit. Finally.
All I can see is a man. Wearing pure black. His face is blurred. God I want to run away.
I can't.
This is it, this is the final test I have to do.
For Aunt Oris…
He moves his hand and somehow within a blink of my eye, up a blackboard and some chalk spawns in. He allows me to go first.
What do I do…?
I'll just start off with a 1.
He turns towards me. I can't move. I'm scared.
I feel like everything is shutting down inside me.
He goes up to the board and writes a 2.
Now it's my turn.
According to this bastards' rule, I can't write down 3 or so on.
I'll write down a ridiculously long integer.
I go up to the blackboard and write down 35 1's. I don't care how many billions that is. I really don't know what to do. My hands are shivering.
"Boy. Is that it?"
Ugh again with his stupid laugh.
God please make it stop..
Just write down the number.
He approaches the board and laughs again. The pain is just too much to describe. I fall down. I try to get back up but he's done. He did something unimaginable…
He used his finger to erase the middle portion of 33 of the 35 1's I've wrote.
A chain of factorials..
I've lost…
I failed everyone.
That…
I can't even imagine a number I can physically write down.
I don't know what's bigger than that.
It's basically Infinity.
Wait…
Infinity.
Wait.
Wait wait wait wait…
"What I assert and believe to have demonstrated in this and earlier works is that following the finite there is a transfinite (which one could also call the supra-finite), that is an unbounded ascending lader of definite modes, which by their nature are not finite but infinite, but which just like the finite can be determined by well-defined and distinguishable numbers."
This quote…
It's from the first book I've ever read on Functions.
The answer is set theory.
December, whoever this person is, probably knows what Set Theory is. He is so confident he can beat me, but this, this is the answer!
Because of his stupid rules he cannot use it after me.
This has to be it.
How do I do this…?
I walk up to the board.
I start writing..
So, there's so many ways I can make a huge number. The only problem is that he can easily beat me.
What if i make an expression, where it takes me a googol (10^100) symbols. Define it so that it is impossible to define it without a seemingly infinite number of symbols.
At the same time, I don't have to write it out.
It's a law. A law I made just now.
My mind went blank.
My hands begun to move on itself.
Am I
Smiling?
That thing, has begun to loosen its facade.
Is he whispering something to himself?
Why can I see that…?
I feel like I've entered a new realm.
I feel so elevated.
Is this flow state?
The board is being filled with chalk.
I can feel everything around me.
Is this what its' like to actually innovate?
God this feels amazing.
He's frowning, wait he's scared.
How the fuck am I able to read his emotions…?
After a while, my hands stop moving.
The feeling of triumph overshadows everything that had occurred to me in this hell.
Looking at the board, I see squiggles and dashes. When I look at it properly, or sort of activate a switch, my brain auto translates it for me.
This looks so beautiful..
I don't know how I managed to pull this off.
The monster or whatever looks as if he has seen the end of the world.
Suddenly he seems to look possessed.
His neck moving in inhumane ways, till letting out a simple smile.
December, you have passed.
I FINALLY DID IT.
AFTER ALL THE FUCKING BULLSHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH.
The space around me started to warp inside.
This has been a rollercoaster of emotions.
I blink once.
I see white. Pure white.
As if I've entered heaven.
"You, before anything, let me sleep. This test was brutal, difficult, and I'm only human."
The thing looks at me, tilts his head, and says
You know what?
Sure.
Time does not pass in here.
I'm sorry for everything that happened .
Once you wake up, I shall tell you everything.
I collapse as soon as I hear those words.
I am exhausted, terrified, horribly depressed, sleep deprived, you name it.
I woke up after 16 hours.
" Did you have to go that hard? You almost made me drown myself."
He took a long pause.
Those were my memories.
I am lost.
Surprised?