Her eyes drift back into focus and lock onto mine. She looks me up and down, no doubt sensing my nervousness. "Um… are you a normal person? I mean, that question just now combined with how even I could hurt you…" Her voice drifts off as she looks between my face and my school uniform. I nod softly and sigh. "Yep. Guilty as charged," I mutter, feeling even worse about it then I did before. However, this only seemed to make her more confused. "Then… how did you become a student? There's no way you'd pass any sort of exam… are you even a student?" She backs away nervously, her anxiety spiking.
I quickly nod. "Yeah, I am. I'm not a spy or anything," I chuckle softly. "I somehow managed to—"
"Wait, did you win the International VIGSO Lottery," She squeaks before I could finish my sentence. However, she seems to gain some awareness after the fact and covers her mouth. "S-Sorry… I didn't mean to interrupt you," she mutters to herself while shrinking away softly. "It's alright," I chuckle softly. "But yeah, you're right. I guess your intelligence must be pretty high then," I joke with a reassuring smile. She looks up at me with a mix of embarrassment and confusion, as if nobody had ever said something like that to her before.
"Um… well, yeah, it is my highest stat, though I don't think I'd say it's actually that great," She mutters in a self-deprecating tone. I raise an eyebrow. "Really? You seem pretty smart to me," I say with a smile, hoping to raise her spirits. Her anxiety eases slightly at my comment, making way for a mix of embarrassment and a pleasant waft of joy. "Oh, uh, really? Um… thanks, I guess," She mutters while smiling sheepishly. 'She's so weak to flattery. It's adorable,' I think to myself as a warm smile appears on my face.
"So, hey, what's your name? I'm Hether. It's kinda spelled like Heather, so people get it wrong a lot," I chuckle with a hint of exhaustion. Her eyes widen slightly in surprise. "Really? I've never heard of that before. N-Not that it's weird or anything," she quickly adds before staring at the ground awkwardly. "Uh, I'm Joanna F… um, Joanna," she mutters slightly after trailing off.
I flash her a warm smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Joanna. I'm happy to see you're not as nervous anymore," I utter while softly patting her shoulder, causing her to nod softly with her head lowered. "U-Um, it's nice to meet you, too, H-Hether," she says in an almost inaudible tone.
"Hey," I begin, "Are you hungry? I was just on the way to the cafeteria, and I'd love for you to join me. If you're worried about cost, don't. I'll cover the bill today," I utter softly, trying to be thoughtful. Her eyes widen slightly as she stares at the ground, like she genuinely couldn't comprehend that someone was asking her that. I watch as she bites her lip softly, her eyes flickering with conflict. "Uh… I don't know," she murmurs as she begins trembling again. I could smell her anxiety spiking dramatically, causing me to frown. 'Hm… I could tell she was socially awkward, but it might be worse than I thought… she seemed in a hurry before she ran into me, too. Is she in trouble?'
My expression turns dead serious at the thought of this innocuous girl in peril. 'The most likely thing I can think of is bullies. She seems especially susceptible to them. In that case, what can I do? If I confront them and things get violent, I'd be a dead man. The best thing to do for now is to try to find out what the problem is,' I conclude. "Hey," I murmur softly while placing my hand on her back, "you're getting nervous again. What's up? Wanna talk about it? I can't promise I can help directly, but, at the least, I can be a sounding board."
I can hear her swallow as she tenses from my hand on her back. "U-U-Um… U-U-Uh…" Her wide, purple eyes begin to water as she looks at me like she just saw a demon preaching. The smell of anxiety in the air grows even larger, causing me to grimace softly. If I didn't have my nose plugs in, I'd probably be crying in pain. I can feel the worry inside me spiking exponentially. "Hey, what's the matter? Please, try to calm down. Breathe in, breathe out." I rub my hand on her back softly trying to comfort her, but the only thing that happens is her face turns deathly pale.
Without another word, she stumbles forward while hyperventilating, desperately trying to get her violently shaking body to move. "Hey, wait," I shout, but all she does is kick off the ground and continue running. I try to follow her, but, within no time, the distance between us had grown by a substantial margin. "Shit, how the hell am I supposed to outrun a system owner," I mutter to myself before stopping completely. There was absolutely no way I'd ever be able to catch her unless she stopped, and, by then, she'd probably be completely gone.
It was just then that I noticed the air was charged with something that wasn't there a moment ago. It was like… a mix of nervousness, curiosity, and even some anger. I look over and notice that pretty much everyone in the park was now looking directly at me. I begin breaking into a cold sweat. 'Shit, some of them are totally misunderstanding. I'm glad at least some people aren't immediately assuming I was harassing her, at least.' I sigh inwardly as I crane my neck towards the cafeteria. "I'm… not really hungry anymore," I mutter as I put my mask back on.
Shrinking against the wall, I turn the corner Joanna had rounded in order to quickly evade the prying eyes and aimlessly walk down the sidewalk. "Joanna… something seriously wrong is going on with her. There's no way that level of anxiety is somehow natural. I need to help her soon, or else she might do something drastic…" I bite at my nails as I think, not paying any attention to where I was going.
'Should I try to find her? It might be best to let her cool off, but, at the same time, the risk of her doing something skyrockets… Now hold on, Hether. Don't just assume she's suicidal or anything. But what if she is? Ugh, fuck!' I continue tearing at my cuticles, my heart racing in my chest. 'Calm down,' I tell myself. 'Stressing yourself out over this won't accomplish anything. Right now, seeing me might only cause her to flee again. Tomorrow, once school starts, I can head over to the counselor and ask her to look over Joanna.'
Another sigh escapes my lips as the soft thud of wood beneath my feet echoes through my ears. I was on a low hanging bridge over a crystal clear lake. A peaceful smile appears on my face at the sight. "This is really nice." Looking up at the bright, blue sky, I take my mask and nose plugs off and deep breath in. It had been way too long since I had let myself feel the wind in my hair.
Looking back down at the pond, I could see dozens of fishes of ranging sizes and colors dancing through the water. Closing my eyes, a certain memory from my childhood came to mind. It was on a day almost identical to this, with a soft, comforting breeze causing the beautiful blue water of the pond in the park near mine and Pop-Pop's house to softly fluctuate, the sunlight bouncing off the mini waves creating a picturesque scene.
I remember as clear as day: I was young, around six. I had stuffed a piece of bread in my pocket without Pop-Pop noticing, intending to feed the koi in the pond with it. However, as soon as I had taken it out and ripped a piece off, Pop-Pop's eyes widened. "Hey, kid, what do you think you're doing," He uttered from behind me, causing me to drop the bread on the shoreline. My eyes began to water from the scare as I looked at him behind me. "U-Um… I was just gonna f-feed the fish… are you mad at me?"
With a sigh, Pop-Pop got down on one knee and looked at me with those soft, blue eyes. "'Course I'm not, kid," he said while gently ruffling my hair. "You can feed the fish all you want, just not with that." He points at the bread, causing me to look at him with confusion. "But… why? I see people giving fish bread all the time," I whimper, my eyes still damp. In response, Pop-Pop heaves a tired sigh. "Look, kid… I'm sure the fish like eating the bread, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's good for them. Fish need a lot of nutrients that bread just doesn't have to live. It's the same reason why I don't let you eat too much candy, even though you like it."
I looked down at my feet as I thought to myself. "So… if I feed the fishes bread, even though it tastes good to them, they'll get a tummy ache," I inquired with innocent eyes. With a soft smile, Pop-Pop nodded. "Yep. That's exactly right." At his answer, a small frown appeared on my face. "Then… why do other people feed the fishes bread? Do they want to give them tummy aches?" Pop-Pop sighed again. "No, I don't think so. I hope not, anyway. Some people are just willing to do whatever it takes to make others happy, no matter the cost."
I looked up at him with bright, confused eyes. "But, Pop-Pop, isn't it better to make people happy?" He looked off into the distance for a moment before softly shaking his head. "Not always. Sometimes, it can actually be bad for the other person. Hm… how about a story to help explain?" My eyes widened in delight. "Yeah! Story, story," I chanted, causing him to chuckle.
"Alright, alright. Let's see… it starts like this… a long time ago, there was a boy, not much older than you, who loved birds more than anything. Every day, he would go to the beach just to watch the seagulls. One day, the boy had an idea. He really liked cookies, so he wanted to let the seagulls try some to see if they liked them, too. That morning, he took some of the cookies from the cookie jar and snuck off to the beach. He put them on the sand and watched as the seagulls ate them. After they were done, they smiled at the boy with big, round tummies. They chanted, "Wow, those were amazing! We want more, more!""
I giggled at his seagull voice, which was just him pinching his nose to make it sound nasally. "Seagulls can't talk, silly!" Pop-Pop grinned at me. "Most can't, but these ones could. Anyway, wanting to make them happy, the boy went back home and got some more cookies. He came back to the beach, put them on the sand, and, once again, the seagulls ate them all up. After they were done, their stomachs were even bigger than before. "We're still hungry," they cried. So, the boy went back home again and grabbed the last of his cookies. Again, he gave them to the seagulls who ate them all up with delight. However, there was a problem. They had eaten too many cookies, and now they couldn't fly anymore because they were too fat!"
I pictured the scenario in my head, finding it hilarious. "So then what happened?" Pop-Pop heaved a dramatic sigh. "Sadly, the fat seagulls were too big, so they went to the seagull doctor, who told them they'd never be able to fly again. At the same time, the boy got hungry and reached into the cookie jar, only to find it empty. He had given all of his cookies to the seagulls. Every last one. So, the seagulls spent the rest of their lives sad and fat, and the boy was never able to eat a cookie again. The end."
My face fell slightly from a bright grin to a complex mix of confusion and sadness. "Really? That's not a very happy ending." Pop-Pop chuckled softly. "You think so? Well, I guess that's true," he muttered. "Well, if they wanted a happier ending, then they should've worked harder for one." I started to pout, turning away from him. "That's stupid. happy endings are supposed to happen. Why should they have to work for one?"
A small smile appeared on his face at my naive statement. "I'm sure you'll find out one day, kid," he said while patting my back. Suddenly, his eyes flick over to a sign on the other side of the pond. "Hey, kid, do you see that?" I turned over to look at it, my face scrunching up with focus as I tried to read what it said. "Um… it says… what fish can't eat: bread, chips, and other… hooman foods. What fish can eat: bugs and… flacks?" Pop-Pop patted my back approvingly. "Close. It says flakes. If you really want to feed the fish, we can get some fish flakes before coming next time."
"My face lit up with delight." Really?! Thanks, Pop-Pop!" I gave him a tight hug, causing him to laugh softly. "Yeah, yeah," He murmured while picking me up and hoisting me over his shoulder, causing me to squeal. "Now then, let's go get some lunch."
My eyes suddenly opened, my vision looking blurrier than it did before. "Ah, shit, when did I start crying," I mutter to myself while wiping away the tears with shaky hands. After calming down slightly, I look back over at the horizon as the sun begins to fall from the sky, my voice quiet and somber. "I miss you, Pop-Pop."