Jay-Jay's POV
"How are you?" Dr. Claudia greeted me. I didn't move from where I stood. I was staring at Kuya as if he had betrayed me.
"Sit down first, kid," Tiger ordered.
I tried to turn around to approach the door, but Tiger quickly blocked my way. He forced a smile, as if silently apologizing because he had no choice. I flinched when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I immediately looked to see who it was and saw Kuya's serious face staring back at me.
"Sit down, Jay," he ordered and gently pulled me. Even though I didn't want to, I obeyed him.
I bit my lower lip while keeping my head down, staring at the floor. I sat in front of the doctor. Even without looking at her, I knew she felt so sorry for me.
My hands were resting on my thighs, trembling. I clenched them into fists to hide the shaking and to control the tears threatening to fall because of the heaviness I felt. Why did I feel so cheated? I had no fight left in me. I couldn't do anything. There was no way out.
No one could defend me from Kuya. I never thought he would do this. I thought he understood how I felt—that's why he kept me away. I was mad at myself. I didn't want to do this, but I knew he would force me, and I couldn't even think of any excuse. I couldn't even fight for what I wanted. What should I do?
"Angelo, we really shouldn't be doing this," the doctor told Kuya.
"She managed to remember something from her past. So what if she tries again?" Kuya insisted.
"The child is scared."
"She's always afraid. But she needs to do this."
I finally broke down in tears. I couldn't stop myself because there was nothing else I could do. I felt like a puppet controlled by the hands playing with me. I was suffocated.
After remembering what I did to Aries, I never wanted to remember anything else. What if I did something even worse? What if I actually hurt someone beyond repair? I might not be able to handle it. I might completely lose my mind.
"I-I don't want to," I whispered so softly that only I could hear it.
But I knew the doctor heard me. She held my hand, and I glanced up at her. She smiled at me as if telling me to trust her. How? When she couldn't even stand up to Kuya?
"Angelo…" she called my cousin. "It would be better if you gave us some space and quiet."
Kuya Angelo stared at her, as if trying to figure out her intentions. Luckily, the doctor knew how to convince him. She didn't break eye contact.
"This is part of the consultation," the doctor added, and only then did Kuya look away and point toward the room where I had slept. Dr. Claudia held my hand and led me into the room. I followed her. Once inside, I noticed Kuya trying to follow, but the door shut quickly, leaving him outside.
"Sit down," the doctor gently instructed, pointing to the edge of the bed. I did as she said, and she sat beside me like we were just two friends in this room.
"We won't do what Angelo wants. Don't worry—I won't force you to remember." She smiled at me.
"Just say whatever you want to say." I stared at her. I had planned to spend the time keeping my mouth shut, but for some reason, my tears suddenly started flowing, and I began to cry.
She immediately hugged me. I hate feeling like this. "It's okay to cry."
But I wasn't okay. How long would I feel this way? I just wanted a normal life, even just for now. I still wanted to enjoy my high school life. Even just for a little while. Even just this year. I wanted to be free from my past. From the lies surrounding me. From the control over me. I wanted to breathe without the weight of my problems. But why was that being denied to me? Why?
"I'm so tired."
Her embrace tightened. "I'll tell you this—not as a doctor, but as a friend and someone going through struggles too," she said with a deep breath. "It's normal to feel tired, especially when nothing changes in what you're doing. It's normal to feel that way when things keep repeating. It's normal. You have every right to feel that way."
I pulled away and faced her. "It's hard to keep going when I don't know what I'm facing. It's exhausting. I'm okay not remembering my past—why does it have to come back?"
She wiped my tears. "It feels good not to remember the pain of the past, but how will you learn from it?"
I didn't understand. What was I supposed to learn from what happened to me? From what I did to Aries? From those terrifying memories? All I felt was guilt, and now I had to keep running away because I didn't want to hurt anyone else. What about the other things I couldn't remember? What lessons would they teach me?
It was like she understood my thoughts. She smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "You're too young to go through all this. But life doesn't make us suffer for no reason. We are meant to be hurt—not just to feel pain, but to learn from it."
I shook my head. It only made me feel more burdened. "You don't understand."
"Do you completely understand yourself?"
Her question hit me like a slap. Silence was my only response. Do I even understand myself? I admitted to myself that I didn't. All I knew was that I was struggling—and the memories of my past were making it harder. All I wanted was for them to disappear. For all that pain to go away.
"You don't understand yourself because you admit you don't know what you're facing. That's because you're trying to bury your past, thinking it's for the best—but it's not. Running away from your problems has never been the solution."
I knew what she was doing. She was trying to convince me to do what Kuya wanted. I thought she was on my side, but it seemed they were just the same. They were just breaking me down little by little.
"You can move forward from your past. But you can only do that if you let go of it. And sometimes, to let go, you need to find the root of what's holding you back. The point where it all began—and there you'll understand what you're truly facing."
Is that really the only way? Was there no other option? Did I really have to face everything I was running away from?
"I'm scared," I whispered, but she still heard me.
"Fear will continue to make things harder for you." She held both my hands. "If you really can't do it, it's okay—but believe me, it will only get harder as your memories slowly return. It's better to be prepared."
I bit my lower lip, but it couldn't stop my tears. She hugged me again, and this time, I hugged her back. There was something different about the way she comforted me. It felt like we shared the same pain. Maybe this was how psychiatrists were—they made their patients feel they weren't alone.
But her actions went deeper than just being a doctor and a patient. It felt like she was a friend I could always lean on, even though this was the first time we had a proper conversation. She didn't leave my side until she was sure I was okay. SHe helped me fix myself up. SHe even combed my hair. Suddenly, I felt like I had an older sibling. So this is what it feels like to have an older sister.
"Can I ask something?"
"What is it?"
"Are you related to Ci-N Peralta?" I asked, and I heard her soft laugh.
"He's your classmate, right?" I nodded slightly in response. "We're cousins."
"I knew it. Are all the Peraltas related to each other?"
"I think not, but it's easy to tell if a Peralta is part of our family. If they're in the medical field, they're automatically one of our relatives. It runs in the bloodline," she explained, and I couldn't help but be amazed. Ci-N's whole clan really belonged to the same field. Then I remembered he wanted to be a pilot. How would he manage that when his entire family expected him to follow in their footsteps?
"Has no one in your family chosen a different profession?" I asked, hoping that Ci-N wasn't the only one going against the grain. You never know, right?
"There was my dad. He became a businessman, but it didn't turn out well," she answered, and I could feel the sadness in her voice. It seemed like I had touched on a sensitive family issue.
"Are you close with Ci-N?" I asked, changing the subject.
SHe chuckled slightly. "Not really, but I do like him. He's making the most of his childhood."
I laughed softly, too. Then I started asking her more questions about Ci-N, and she answered them warmly. At one point, she mentioned the Batang Kumag's siblings, but she quickly took it back. It seemed like even she wasn't fond of them. We talked for hours.
SHe even mentioned how she met Kuya Angelo—they were batchmates, and he was also classmates with Ma'am Cindy. But she didn't give many details, as if there was something he was avoiding mentioning. Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door from Kuya Angelo. SHe had no choice but to leave the room and let me rest. I took the chance to change into my home clothes.
When I stepped out of the room, Dr. Claudia and Tiger were already saying their goodbyes. They said they had to leave. I followed them to the door, but since I was still angry at Kuya, I decided to step out as well.
My cousin just watched me, assuming I was only escorting the guests to the elevator and would come right back. That's on you. I waved goodbye to Dr. Claudia and Tiger as the elevator doors closed. It was a bit odd that PPAP was really with them. He also looked serious, far from the mischievous grin he usually wore at Kingsground. His appearance hadn't changed much either—he was just missing the music for "I have a pen... I have an apple."
Once they were out of sight, I started walking back—but not to Kuya's unit. I headed to the unit of the King of the Snakes.
Hopefully, they had food. I rang the doorbell repeatedly. I didn't know the password for their keypad lock, so I had to wait for someone to open the door for me.
Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long because the door opened, and Keigan's face greeted me—one lens of his glasses still broken. What happened? He stared at me curiously, as if waiting for me to speak.
"H-Hi, is Keifer here?" I asked, and he looked me up and down. I suddenly felt self-conscious because I was only wearing shorts and a T-shirt—definitely home clothes.
"He went out to buy food," he replied. "You can wait for him inside if you want."
I quickly nodded. That was exactly what I intended to do. I wasn't going back to Kuya Angelo's unit. Let him wait or search for me in vain. Good luck with that.
You think— He let me in and pointed to their expensive-looking sofa so I could sit down. Their unit was quite different from Kuya's. I couldn't tell if it was the design or the placement of the appliances. The colors of their decor were darker, unlike Kuya's place, which, though masculine, still had some vibrance. I sat down and looked around. I noticed some glasses and a bit of mess on their dining table. It looked like someone had been eating while reading or tearing up some paper.
"Do you want anything to drink?" he asked.
I hadn't even answered yet when he was already heading to the kitchen. I didn't complain, thinking he genuinely wanted to offer me something while I waited for his brother.
Honestly, I couldn't help but be puzzled by his behavior. It was so different from the way he acted toward me this morning. I remembered the words he had said, and suddenly I felt self-conscious again.
I watched him from where I was seated. Could I really be his condition? Keifer had mentioned we had some similarities in our situations. Could it really be possible that we were exactly alike? Could he have also experienced something in his past that he couldn't remember? Did he also change when he saw blood? What exactly was our condition?
I quickly looked away when he suddenly turned toward me. I didn't want him to think I was watching him. That would be so creepy. After a while, he was done. He approached me and placed a glass of juice in front of me before sitting down on the sofa across from me.
"Keifer might be on his way home. Go ahead and drink."
I nodded and thanked him. I glanced at the juice for a moment because I thought I noticed something, but I brushed it off since the person who made it was watching me. I didn't want him to think I was picky. Whatever it was, it would end up in my stomach anyway.
I drank the juice and didn't notice anything unusual—except for the strange taste. I knew I was drinking grape juice, but there was something in the flavor I couldn't quite explain. Because of that, I only drank a little.
"You don't like it?" he asked, his voice tinged with sadness. I felt guilty, so I quickly brought the glass back to my lips and finished the juice. Even though I wasn't sure about the taste, I drank it all so his effort wouldn't go to waste.
I let out a small burp after emptying the glass. He smiled sweetly at me before standing up and excusing himself to clean up the dining table. I nodded and let him be.
Minutes passed, and I started feeling something strange in my stomach. There was a cramping sensation deep inside. I tried to figure out why. I knew I wasn't hungry or needing the bathroom. Was it bad to drink juice on an empty stomach?
As the minutes passed, the cramps intensified. I subtly rubbed my belly, hoping the pain would go away. But with every passing minute, the pain grew sharper. I also started sweating.
I glanced briefly at Keigan, but he had his back to me and seemed to be writing something.
I instinctively lay down on the sofa because of the pain. I was growing weaker, and my breathing was getting heavier. I also felt like vomiting. There was something wrong with this stomach pain. This wasn't normal.
I needed to go back to Kuya's unit. It would be embarrassing if I ended up writhing in pain here. I could hide from Kuya Angelo later.
I tried to stand up, but I immediately collapsed back down as the pain intensified. I was so weak that I couldn't even sit up properly. As much as it was humiliating, it looked like I had no choice but to ask for help.
"K-Keigan," I called out to Keifer's brother. "Can you help me?"
I didn't hear a response, but I saw him walk over in front of me, holding a notebook with a few torn pieces of paper.
"Can you call my cousin? He's just in the next unit," I pleaded.
He raised the notebook and wrote something. "The effect is faster when you put in more," he wrote.
Put in more… where?
My eyes automatically went to the glass I had drunk from. Damn it… I knew it! That's why there was something odd about the taste of that drink.
"What… what did you put in it?" I groaned weakly, the pain in my stomach making my voice barely audible.
"Glue," he answered casually.
What? Do I look like paper that needs glue?
I was now using both my hands and arms to try and ease the pain in my stomach. My soft groans slowly turned into quiet cries. The pain grew worse with every second, and I couldn't stop myself from writhing.
I wanted to be angry at him, but I couldn't even speak because the pain was overwhelming. I also felt like I was going to throw up, but nothing would come out.
I didn't know who to call for help. If I waited for this pain to subside on its own, something terrible could happen to me. I needed to help myself. I let myself slide off the sofa, knowing I couldn't stand up. I'd have to crawl.
But before I could move, I heard a door from one of the rooms open. When I looked, I saw Keiren emerging, crying. He was clutching his stomach, and before he could take three steps, he collapsed to the floor.
"Kuya… My stomach hurts!" he cried.
I looked at Keigan, hoping he would help his brother, but instead, he just wrote on his paper again.
"It's only taking effect now," he wrote.
Even his own brother?
My eyes widened in shock. What was wrong with this guy? Why would he make his own brother drink glue too? What was he planning?
Keiren's crying grew louder, and I was filled with worry. His young body might not be able to handle this pain. If I, who was older, was already this weak, how much worse would it be for him?
"Kuya!" he cried desperately.
Despite my weakness, I forced myself to crawl toward him. Tears fell from my eyes because every movement made the pain worse. I was starting to scream from the pain, but I had to make sure Keiren was okay.
But I couldn't even reach him—not even the tips of my fingers. All I could do was cry with him. I prayed silently that someone would come and find us.
Keifer, please… get here already!
I could barely move. Even breathing was making my stomach hurt more. I couldn't hear Keiren's crying as clearly anymore, and that scared me even more. If this went on any longer, something terrible might happen to him.
My fear eased just a little when I finally heard the front door open and Keifer's panicked voice filled the room.
"What happened?" he asked, clearly alarmed.
I saw his confusion, unsure of who to approach first. I immediately gestured toward his brother out of worry.
"Keiren… check on him," I sobbed, my voice breaking.
He did as I asked, and I heard him calling his brother's name. Just like me, though, there was no response from Keiren. Please, don't let him lose consciousness.
Keifer lifted his brother and then moved toward me.
"Hold on to me, Jay. I'm taking you both to the hospital," he said, fear and worry evident in his voice.
I couldn't move anymore, but I didn't want to be a burden to him. As much as I wanted to stay behind so he wouldn't have to carry me, I knew he wouldn't agree to that. I gathered whatever strength I had left, clung to him, and forced myself to stand up. I cried out in pain, the effort making the agony even worse.
I matched his steps as we headed toward the door. He let go of me briefly to open it, and I clung to him tightly, my grip getting stronger with every step because I was afraid of falling behind and becoming even more of a burden.
But despite my best efforts, my strength gave out, and I slipped away from him.
I saw Keifer fall to his knees, still holding his brother. His panic grew as he tried to figure out who to help first.
I sobbed—not just from the pain but from my frustration. I couldn't do anything in this situation. I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to make things harder for him. He needed to take his brother to the hospital, and I didn't want to slow them down.
"S-Sorry," I cried weakly.
"No. No. Don't apologize," he said firmly, moving toward me before turning his back.
"I'll carry you," he said.
He took my hand and tried to pull me up onto his back. I did my best to hold on and position myself properly. Then he bent down to lift his brother again. I clung to him tightly, even though my body was completely weak.
He managed to carry us both into the elevator. He set us down briefly to catch his breath and took out his phone to call for help. I couldn't clearly hear what he was saying anymore, but it seemed like he was calling for an ambulance.
"That'll take too long!" he shouted, his frustration evident.
"T-Take Keiren first," I whispered, but he still heard me.
"No. I'm not choosing who to take first. I'm taking you both to the hospital together," he insisted.
Stubborn.
I admired him. His strength and determination were something to envy. He would do everything he could for us. He wouldn't pick one over the other.
If only I were strong enough to help him. If only there were something I could do to ease his burden. If only I could offer even a little help.
The elevator bell rang, signaling that we had reached our floor. Keifer was about to lift me again when the doors opened, and Kuya Angelo's sharp curse greeted us.
He scooped me up and carried me out of the elevator.
It looked like my prayers had been answered.